All right, I want to start this off by saying that none of these words are written in anger. I am not angry in the slightest. If anything here appears to have been written in anger, it is an error, and I apologize in advance.
    Last night something very hurtful took place, my friend Lindsay, who if Sean ever disappeared would be my best friend, mentioned to me that she was leaving for a bit, and when I asked "Why?" and "Why isn't Marc telling me something?" she didn't reply, and logged off. Marc, who I'd tried to get a hold of to do something this weekend, had previously mentioned that he was unable to do anything Friday night, despite the fact he was online. So I asked him "What are you doing that made it so you couldn't hang out tonight?" he said that it was because he was "Hanging out." When I asked with who, and gave the two names that could have possibly upset me (he mentioned that I would get pissed if he said) he still refused to tell me. Now I'm not the most brilliant man on the planet, but at this point the little gears are grinding... Lindsay logs off, neither of them want to tell me something, I deduce that Marc will be logging out shortly, I ask him if this is the case, he says "Yep." so I tell him "All right, when she calls, tell her that I wouldn't have been pissed if she'd told me, but I am now, and that if I'm not online when she gets back, she knows how to reach me."
See, what happened was Lindsay was too afraid of what I'd say if she told me that she was making a phone call to Marc, 'cause I would have "flipped" so she deliberately kept it from me, and was planning on telling me after the fact. I tried to talk to her about it, but for some reason it always came back to me "not approving of anything she does as it relates to Marc." and that isn't what it was about at all...
    It was about one of the people I care about most in this world, deliberately keeping something from me, and not having the presence of mind to be upfront and honest with me...
    And that hurt... a lot. I still feel like someone drove a knife into my heart and pulled out the still beating organ. I'm not mad, I'm just hurt. Hurt that she'd do something like that, hurt that she'd do it after she knows what I did when Kim did something similar, hurt that I might end up losing her because of how I react, and most of all, hurt because I put so much faith into someone who I thought deserved it, and that I may have been wrong in doing so... I don't want to lose you Lindsay, I know it's a trivial thing to get upset about, but that's the point... It was a trivial thing and you deliberately kept it from me, that's why it hurts so much, and I know I will get over it, but it's probably going to be a long time before I can look at you the same way again.
    The only way I can easily describe why I hate secrets so much is because for a lot of my life, people tolerated me, and always kept it a secret that they didn't actually like me, and were just using me for something, and that always hurt more than any other pain, so secrets always hurt me, and they hurt the person who kept them from me because of how I over-react to the simplest one.
    Lindsay, I am not mad at you, I love you. I'm mad at myself for thinking that you would always be as upfront with me as I've been with you. I've told you every thought that has entered my mind, every wish I've ever had, and never, ever, deliberately kept anything from you, I guess last night I learned that your friendship means more to me than mine does to you. That's what hurts most of all.

Sean, yer my brother, everything I've ever told you about your ability has been the God's honest truth. Aimee can see it to. You gotta start accepting the fact that you ARE talented, and even if you aren't the smartest guy in the world, at least there has to be something you're good at, and frankly, it's a lot of things. I know I'm better than average at almost everything I do (except for the things I truly want to be good at, like painting) but dammit, you're the best damned writer I know.
    There, your bit with bells.
    Kim, it was so damned cool to hear from you today, that was the shit. I sooooo can not wait to hit NY with ya, and frankly, the way I'm feeling right now, I'm very glad you are coming because I don't know if I would be able to go otherwise. Sacrifice is one thing, but I would be risking my life driving there all by myself. Thanks for being my friend Kim, you mean a hell of a lot to me, as does your opinion, I love ya, can't wait to get the hell out of here with ya.
    Kirsten (like she reads this) it was cool seeing you today, and just goes to show that given time anyone can get along well enough with me to at least act civil in public settings. Hope everything is going well for you, probably talk to you some time.
    Liz, thanks for putting up with my shit, and thanks for being there for me all the time, despite the fact we were never very close until recently (the words "violent tendencies towards each other" come to mind) I'm very happy that you are a friend to me, thank you.
    Crystal, hanging with you was like the highlight of my week, that was damned cool. I stand by my saying that guys really don't know what they're missing out on, you're one hell of a girl, and are going to make the right guy be very grateful that he found you.
    Edith, do not lose contact with me, that would hurt a lot. I really care about ya, and do mean it when I say I love ya. I respect you a hell of a lot, and I know you'll get through what you're trying to get through. It's not easy to get over something like that, in fact, it's not possible. However you can always find a way to bury it down deep in the pit of your soul, and move on. I love ya, I know you can do it, and I can't wait to hang with you again.
    Jenny, thanks for being there and talking to me last night, I know you were trying to help, but you really didn't understand exactly what upset me about it so much. Thanks for trying, and thanks for the picture, you truly are the photo shop faerie.
    JOE! E-MAIL ME MORE!
    Wow, I am out of male friends...