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| sheila ! |
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| garbled emotions |
| i say: laughter does not always mean joy sleep isn't always peaceful don't think that silence means i have nothing to say but don't worry if i cry it doesn't mean i'll always be sad --- to A, 21may04, 1245h, to la union you say: awake doesn�t really mean i�m in full realization alive doesn�t really mean i�m living. How right you are. So, now, what do I do? =p And you ask where this is all coming from... Funny that I write, when I never liked words when I prefer music, Or silence, Or a simple hug. It�s just that sometimes, Words just keep buzzing in my head, Creating havoc with the emotions, and clear thought. I don�t know where the words come from, really. Sometimes they are just observations, A statement of fact, Conjured by imagined feelings� They could be lines I heard somewhere and that somehow I forgot and then remembered. last year, i�d always say that life is something we just go through. that life exists for no reason. i�d say the same now. and egoistic expression like words is as normal as breathing. People say that man is god�s greatest creation. I think therefore I am! Hah! I�d say we�re vain, and we may be god�s cruelest joke. I don�t wish to blaspheme. I don�t wish to escape from my thoughts either. Life, and man, and living. A paradox, a miracle, who cares? We got no choice but to go through this after all, Emotions in Full Garbled Glory. So, I eat, I sleep, I write, I sing. I dance, I dream, I make love, I create music, Laughing or crying in the process. That�s life for you. That�s living as we know and understand it. --- 16jun04, 1016h, dvo |
| But I haven�t given up looking for an alternative� �Though sometimes, I still: i want to dance, dance the dance of the macabre i want to dance in the darkness of my soul scream that primal scream that will deaden all the noise in my head i want to raise my arms and thrash 'til i'm tired and sweaty 'til i'm so tired my muscles have gone painful and rigid 'til i can no longer catch my breath and my head and chest are about to explode. let me alone and let me be let the fury explode 'til there's nothing left, even of me. --- dance of the macabre, 14sept02, 1015h, dvo |