A man, his wife and his 3 kids were celebrating the mans 50th anniverary. The first kid stands up and says regrettingly, "Mom, Dad, im sorry that Jane and I couldn't buy you anything for your anniverary. We just bought a new powerboat and are strapped for cash." the man said nothing, then the second son stood up and said nervously, "Uh, im sorry, but i just bought nancy a new dimond necklace and we're broke, but we do wish you the best of luck in years to come!" and still the man was silent. Then after an akward pause, the third son stood up and said "Dad Mom, as you know i just got married to diana and we have no cash but we brought you a card we're" the man interrupted, "Its ok kids, i never told you this, but when you three were born, your mother and me couldn't afford a license to get married so we just never got around to it" the first son stood up immediately and cried out, "My god dad, if you never married mom, then do you know what that makes us?" the man replied, "Yeah, and cheap ones too!"

-Comedy Writing Secrets

One day a man decided to buy a farm. He went up to a house where a man was selling a farm. The man said "Yeah I'll sell it to you, but first there are four things you need to know: a rooster is called a cock,: a wagon is called a pullet,: a donkey is called an ass,: and when the donkey starts acting up all you have to do is smack it." Within a couple of days the man had the farm. He was walking down the road with the rooster, donkey, and wagon, when all of a sudden his donkey starts acting up. He looks up and sees a woman approaching him. He stops the woman and says, "Excuse me miss, will you hold my cock and pullet while i smack my ass?"