Ya know something? I�m tired of being tired. My eyes just want to close! I gotta keep �em open! But they feel like 1000 lbs! I should get the power lifting team to help me. I don�t know. They might not be able to do it!
but I can't
keep �em open! I�m good at keeping other things open though. Like doors. Man, what would the world be like without doors? Well, there would be a band whose name wouldn�t mean anything. Who is that band? Why the Beach Boys of course! Their name never made much sense anyway. I mean, what are they? Are they boys fused to a beach by alchemy? Oooh, I gotta draw that!
(no harm meant, dudes)
    So how did they sing without swallowing sand? They were the sand! I wish I could turn into sand sometimes. Water would be nice too! I would just turn into a puddle whenever I wanted. I could go under door cracks. But then I might get soaked into carpet! Then I�ll get mopped up, squeezed down into a sink, and then I�ll end up in a pile of unmentionables! That would be gross! Or I might evaporate. Then I�ll be a gas! I�ll then go into the air and be a cloud. I used to think clouds came from factories. I saw a huge smokestack and saw the clouds coming out. But those are the bad clouds of pollution! Not the good clouds of water!
    Factories have got to find a way to get rid of the bad clouds of pollution. But factories aren�t the only ones to blame. Cars! Cars have pipes to let em� out! Especially old cars! Some are destined to be classics. Others are not. Donate your old cars to the impounder so their parts can be used for other things. And you�ll save the air, too! Tax deductibles, too! Tax deductibles might be small sometimes, but you could get that cheeseburger you always wanted! Those kinda sammiches are good. Just a big slab o� ground beef then cheese. Then you put the lettuce tomatoes and onions. (But the onions taste awesome caramelized into the meat! Yeah!) And then you got yourself a great sandwich! Yum yum! Pizza is good too! Did you know that pizza really came from China? Marco Polo went to China and brought back pizza.
I bet the Chinese didn�t like how they didn�t get any credit. Isn�t that why they had a war? I can picture it now�
(Mario, Luigi, and Wario are all (C) Nintendo. But the chinese guys are my creation)
           Man, that�s gotta hurt, Luigi. Geez, Wario, if you don�t focus on anything other than eating that guy, the ninja will get you! And as always great fireballs by Mario! Who reading this has ever played Super Mario Bros.? That should be everybody! If you haven�t go play it now. You simply owe it to yourself to have fun! Just don�t overdo it! Going outside is fun too. I like to ride my scooter. I fall down sometimes. Everybody does. But that doesn�t stop me. I just get up, check if I�m bleeding or not, and keep going! (If I�m bleeding, I would go home and get a band-aid or something like that.) That�s the problem with most people. They give up too easily. My English teach and last year�s religion teacher always says, �Quitters are losers!� I�m in his class right now! What a coincidence! Coincidences are very cool sometimes. Sometimes they�re bad though. All things have good and bad sides. They aren�t always just half good and half bad. Most of the time one of them is bigger than the other. Just look at my charts!
    Now take a look at the mostly bad one. See? There�s a little bit of good! Everyone and everything has a little bit of good in them no matter how bad they are! Hey! Isn�t there a song in Chicago that talks about that? That�s a good play. We put it on recently. Did you see it? You should have seen it. You need to see a lot of things while you still can. They say life is short ya know. But I disagree with them. Why? Because these first 15 years of my life felt long going by. They were fun of course. But you just don�t know when it�s gonna end! I hate that! But then again, I might get depressed if I knew when I was going to die. It�s like knowing you are going to fall into a hole as opposed to not knowing you are going to fall into a hole. The hole being death of course.
    As you can see, the unsuspecting death victim is happy while the suspecting one isn�t. You gotta keep yourself happy knowing about death or not. Always look on the bright side of life. Hey! That�s a song in The Meaning of Life by Monty Python! I haven�t seen that movie but I hear it�s got a lot of profanity. Why do movies have to have profanity? Movies from years ago could get along funnily without profanity. What is this world coming to?
    Yep folks. It�s sad but true, but this world is coming to corruption! Someone needs to run Defrag.exe on C:/ThisWorld fast. But someone lost This World�s computer. Where is it now? No one knows. Who will find it? I will.
    I�ll have to make that game sometime. It�s gonna be good. I just know it. I already got lots of ideas for it. It�s probably going to be an RPG. RPG�s are really cool. They are like interactive books. And no two are ever exactly the same. (But there are many that are very, very similar.) It seems like 90% of them take place in Medieval Times. That 10% is made up of great RPG�s like Earthbound! That was a great RPG that not too, too many people liked just because its graphics and sound weren't as good as other games of that time. But it was a lot more fun than a lot of the other ones like Final Fantasy! (And if any of you Final Fantasy fanboys want to send me hate mail. Go ahead. Just prepare to get hate mail back at you! What goes around comes around! In other words, you probably shouldn�t. But it�s not like I can stop no matter how much I try. Alright I�m done.) Well, alright, Final Fantasy is good I guess, but Earthbound is better in my opinion. (Ooh and Chrono Trigger. That�s my favorite Square RPG.) Earthbound took place in the present time rather than in medieval times. (And Chrono Trigger took place in all sorts of time periods!) And the best part is that you can eat hamburgers, (Not potions or elixirs. Actual food!) straight out of trash cans! What could be better? Well, maybe going skiing in the middle of the ocean!
Go skiing in the middle of the ocean! It�s THE thing to do. Everybody�s doing it! Call 1-800-272-88588-36271-4632678-32567-3478422-77832-358432�-589703-OCEAN-SKIING or go to:
www.thisisareallylongwebsiteaddress.com/ooh/ahh/ehhh/
myleghurts/IthinkIbrokeit/ohno/scottish/zipper/hardwear/
underwear/smellysocks/ok/this/is/too/long/now/so/I�ll/go/get/to/
the/point/OCEANSKIING.html to order a charter for ocean skiing TODAY!
No purchase necessary. Just pay 10 simple payments of $100,490,364.86 plus tax. Ocean skiing is not responsible for any sort of pain, splash, death, cheeseburger, chicken, cars, or medical malpractice whatsoever. In other words, don�t sue us for anything. We�ll sue you for suing us. Get the picture? Good. You are responsible for your skis, ski pole thingies, your hair, and getting back to shore. Also get a %.10 percent discount on this if you order a charter for snow surfing! It�s awesome! It�s like swoosh-swoosh down cliffs & stuff. It�s our 2nd best seller. With land sailing being 1st. Actually, I�ve never done this before. But I hear that it�s fun. So go do it! Right now! Go go go! Vroom! Vroom! Vroom! Rarr! VA-room! Vroom! Vroom! Rarr! Beep beep! Errr! Beep beep! Errr! VA-room! Beep Beep! Errr! I like to sound like a car as you just heard. You should try it. Just do anything you think your car would do. Like make donuts! Krispy kreme donuts! No, not those. You might get charged with copyright infringement. Let�s steer clear of that, ok? So instead, we�ll sprout wings and fly into a bug zapper while singing �Eye in the Sky� by The Alan Parsons Project! Yeeeeeeeee-haaaaawwww!
    In conclusion, falling asleep really isn�t that bad. Just as long as it involves race cars.
   THE END
(with some cheese sauce! Mmmm!)
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