June 10

Diary:

All the little brats are gone and the school has quietened down. Filch has finished cleaning up the student messes and I actually kicked Mrs. Norris when Filch wasn't around before I headed outside to catch some fresh air yesterday. The lake was surprisingly clear for having a giant squid living in it, among other things.

This year was a long one, I suppose, and Dumbledore actually apologized for not giving me better warning about Potter being a student. Said he had a little bit of the devil in him. A little bit?

McGonagall has finally stopped gloating over Slytherin losing the house cup to Gryffindor...still hope she chokes on it though. Getting ready to head over to Hogsmeade for a post-year end celebration with my colleagues.

The only interesting thing to note right now other than my babble above is that I asked to see Dumbledore this afternoon. I wanted to see if I could talk him into letting me teach Defense Against the Dark Arts next year. He said no, that he was considering Loony Lupin's suggestion of that daft git Lockhart. Of all the...anyway, Headmaster asked me what I'd seen in the Mirror of Erised. He said that McGonagall had told him I'd seen something. He was curious but I think my answer startled him.

Albus Dumbledore has to be the most perceptive man I have ever met. He has a keen eye and a keener intellect, but he never suspected, I suppose. Not many do, I guess. I don't show my real feelings that much. I don't think I deserve them sometimes. I haven't led a pristine life, no matter what Dumbledore says to defend me. I have much to atone for, perhaps more than I can do in the rest of my life.

I saw in that mirror the one thing I have dreamed I would be, longed to be but have no hope of ever being. Most people take it for granted, this thing, but I never have, for I've not known it much in my life.

I saw myself being happy. Truly and completely happy.

Isn't that enough to make you ill?

Severus Snape