I Have This

I sit at the board by myself, right in the middle, a game with no one else around. Left hand black, right hand white, move here, move there. How can I be so good at this and so nothing at everything else?

Pawn to King four, twice. Strong opening move.

I follow others around. Hermione, so good at magic. Why can�t I be like her? No. I have this. My brothers, standing so tall in my parents eyes that I�m lost in the shadow. Even Fred and George overshadow me... no. I have this.

Knights, advance. Bishops, dodge behind.

And then there�s Harry. I follow along, gaining recognition that way. I�m Harry Potter�s friend. It�s like he has a light shining all around him, and I manage to be lit because I�m standing there with him. I understand he doesn�t want to be famous. I understand that he�s the best friend I�ve ever had.

Doesn�t change the fact that he is and I�m in his shadow like I�m in everyone else�s. Doesn�t change the fact that he has both the advantages and disadvantages fame gives him. What do I have? This.

Bishop takes Pawn. Knight takes Bishop. Bishop takes Knight. Not on a clock but moving fast.

I don�t want to be famous either, not really. But I want people to see me for who I am, not who my brother was, or who my brothers are. I want people to see more than the redhead kid who hangs out with famous Harry Potter or the one who begs for answers from the top student in our year. I want to be more than the kid who crashed a car into a tree, more than that guy who doesn�t have a handle on his temper and always starts fights.

I�m different, really. I�m not any of my brothers, God forbid I�m my dad. I�m not Harry�s lapdog. I�m me, Ron Weasley. I suppose it doesn�t help that I�ve got no grand talent like Hermione�s got, or even fake talent like Lockhart or Trelawney.

I have this, and that�s about all. It doesn�t help.

Castle Kings. Queens roam the board, zip zip zap like lightning.

I have enemies. But they are always Harry�s first, mine second. I make up for it by hating them twice as much as he does: twice as fierce, twice everything. I could fill books with what I�d like to do with my enemies... and none of them would enjoy a second.

Rook takes Knight. Check, black. Move King. Queen takes Knight. Check, black again.

No, I have one enemy who�s more mine than anyone�s. I thought he was my pet, thought he was... I loved that rat! I let him sleep on my bed, and when I thought he�d been eaten... I don�t want to think about that.

But he betrayed his friends, led You-Know-Who to Harry�s parents. He couldn�t be any more their murderer than if he had killed them with his own spell. And he let Sirius Black take the blame.

He was my pet. Says something, I think, but whether it�s about me or about him I don�t know.

Queen takes Rook. Check. Move. Check....

Now, like in the game, I�m waiting. I can plan, I can strategize, I know when to wait and when to strike. When to smile and when to frown, when to let the enemy know what you�re thinking and when to keep thoughts close. I can be three steps ahead, or five, or seven; I could be two steps behind with a knife if I chose. Not literally, you know... what�s the word... metaphorically. Yeah, that�s it. Metaphorically with a knife.

Because I have this. I have the board, and I know the pieces. I know the moves. I see the patterns. I can wait....

Checkmate.