walmart

*Get boxes oof condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it.

*Set all the alarm clocks to go ogg at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

*Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the restrooms.

*Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares." and see what happens.

*Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.

*Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gitft wrap.

*Put M&Ms on layaway.

*Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

*Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in it they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

*When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why don't you people just leave me alone?"

*Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

*Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I.Joes vs. the X-Men.

*Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

*While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly aske the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressents are.

*Switch the men's and women's signs on the door of the restrooms.

*Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

*Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

*In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

*Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "Pick me! Pick me!"

*When an announcement comes on over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "No, no! It's those voices again!"

*If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

*Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"