Rocky Horror Picture Show Jokes
Top Ten Thoughts Brad Major Had During Sex With Frank-N-Furter: 10) He even smells better than Janet! 9) When do I turn my head and cough? 8) Watching him kill Eddie really turned me on. 7) This reminds me of when I used to be an altar boy� 6) What would Dr.Scott would think? 5) Will he just chew me up and spit me out again? 4) I wonder how I�d look in that shade of eye shadow� 3) Do you hold between your legs the secret to life itself, or are you just happy to see me? 2) I think I left the car lights on. 1) Does this mean I can�t be a republican anymore?
Top Ten Thoughts Janet Had During Sex With Rocky Horror: 10) Now that�s dynamic tension! 9) He�s just seven hours old�and can�t kiss! 8) Now I think I�ll imagine everyone in the castle coming up. 7) Is his libido being controlled? 6) What would Thelma think? 5) You�re in good hands with Allstate! 4) �Rocky� is an ephermal nickname at best. 3) Look at the pretty colors� 2) Not my shoulders, you idiot!!! My breasts!!! 1) I hope people won�t think I�m a slut.
Top Ten Reasons Why The Criminologist Has No Fucking Neck 10) It was stolen by Frank-N-Furter to make Rocky. 9) It was given to the Hapschatts as a wedding present. 8) Because he�s neither human nor Transylvanian; but something in between. 7) It was confiscated by Lisa (the Cast Bitch). 6) A jealous husband shot it off after catching him in bed with his wife. 5) He had it surgically removed and transplanted to somewhere where he needed the length more. 4) He sold it to the Devil (he has no soul). 3) He shot it off trying to imitate Kurt Cobain. 2) It was amputated after a hickey got infected. 1) He lost it (allegedly) in a questionable Arkansas bank robbery.
Top Ten Jobs Of The Domestics (Riff Raff and Magenta) 10) TIE: Cooking for the guests/ Cooking the guests. 9) Cleaning up after yet another of Frank�s killing sprees. 8) Incest and elbow sex. 7) Lab assistants and part-time proctologists. 6) Putting hot wax on Frank�s car (and everything else he rides). 5) Scaring the bejeebers out of passing motorists who want to use the phone. 4) Digging potholes in the road to trap passing motorists. 3) Finding ways to deduct Frank�s sex toys from his income. 2) Getting all the guests stoned. 1) Rebellion and murder.
Top Ten Jobs Once Held By Doctor Everett Scott 10) Science teacher, Denton High School (1963-1972) 9) Vice President, Hair Club For Men (1992-present) 8) Tap dance instructor (before the accident in 1965) 7) Government UFO investigator (1972-1976) 6) Back-up singer for Boy George (1982-1988) 5) Speechwriter for Dan Quayle (1968-1992) 4) East German Olympic Ass-Kissing Team (1958 and 1962) 3) Nixon Biographer (1976-1978) 2) Male prostitute (1978-1982) 1) Treasurer, Adolf Hitler Fan Club (1943-1962)
