ponder

*What's another word for thesaurus?
*Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?
*If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
*If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
*How do a fool and his money get together?
*How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
*If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
*Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
*What do they use to ship styrofoam?
*How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
*Is it true that canniblas don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
*Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
*Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
*How is it possible to have a civil war?
*If God dropped acid, would he see people?
*If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
*If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
*Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
*Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?
*The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the naughty girls live..
*I went to a bookstore, and asked the sales lady, "Where's the self help section?" she told me if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
*If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, then why are they still working?
*When you choke a smurf whatt color does it turn?
*Why does the word "sanction" mean both to permit and to prohibit?
*Why does a cataract mean both a waterfall and an eye defect?
(what do they have in common?)
*Does fuzzy logic tickle?
*Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
*If you shoot a mime, do you have to use a silencer?
*What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
*Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
*Why is it called a TV "set" if there's only one?
*Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
*Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
*If the opposite of pro is con, then is the opposite of progress congress?
*Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
*Why is it, whether you sit down or sit up, the results are the same?
*Why is it called a "building" when it's already built?
*Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
*Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
*If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
*How can you "draw a blank"?
*Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllable"?
*Why did the kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
*Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
*Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?
*Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" when we're already there?
*Why is there only one Monoplies Comission?
*Does a fish get cramps after eating?
*Why "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
*Why is it when two planes almost collide it's called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?

If the world was 100 people,
there would be:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from North & South America
8 Affricans
52 Females
48 Males
70 nonwhite, 30 white
59% of the world's wealth would belong to only 6 people
and all 6 would be citizens of the United States
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death
1 would be near birth
only 1 would have a college education
99 would not see this, because only one of them would have a computer
*Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see it's on, and when it's off you can't see to read.
*How do you know when it's an ENDLESS LOOP?
*Why is FOOTball played by hand?
*Why are there floatation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
*Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations where smoking is not permitted?
*Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
*If you can't drink and drive then why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor and why do bars have parking lots?
*Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
*How does the guy who drives the snow plow get to work on snowy mornings?
*If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year then why are there locks on the doors?
*If a cow laughs real hard would milk come out of it's nose?
*If nothing ever sticks to Telfon, how do they make it stick to pans?
*Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
*Why is it when you transport something by truck, it's called a shipment, and when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
*Why is it that, they can't make an airplane out of the same material as that little black box recorder?
*Why do we drive on a parkway and park in the driveway?
*Why does AT&T advertise "Reach Out an Touch Someone" when that's the only thing you can't do with a phone?
*Why do they put headlights on cement trucks, they don't drive them at night.
*If a donkey is an ass and a ram is a goat, why is a ram in the ass a goose?
*Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
*If a mute kid sears, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
*And whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in "Lisp"?
*If a man stands in the middle of a forest speakeng and there is no woman around to hear him...Is he still wrong?
*If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide...Is it considered a hostage situation?
*Is there another word for synonym?
*Isn't it scary doctors call what they do "practice"?
*Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
*What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
*If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?
*Would a wingless fly be called a walk?
*Why do the lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?
*Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked?