| JOKES!!!! |
| Theese be cheesey ass jokes and stuff im board and adding lots and lots of random things sooo yea any wayz theese be jokes its late at night so i luighed a lot cuz well im a sleep almost only not really.....auto pilot!!!!!! |
| Five Symptons of Intoxication What are the five symptoms of alcohol intoxication? 1) Loss of memory 2) .... I ..... I can't remember the rest |
| Daddy-longlegs A man and his daughter were standing in the garden one day when the little girl spots two spiders mating. Mary: Daddy, what are those two spiders doing? Dad: They're mating, honey. Mary: What's the one on top called? Dad: It's a daddy-longlegs. Mary: So the one on bottom is a mommy-longlegs? Dad: No, it's a daddy-longlegs, too. Mary: (thinks for a minute, then stomps on both spiders) Well, we're not having any of that crap in OUR garden! *Darren this is for you* |
| Evils of Drugs Gatiep and Frankie were picked up by the cops for smoking' dope and appeared in court on Friday before the Judge. The Judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court on Monday." Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to Frankie "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, Your Honour, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever". "17 people? That's wonderful! What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, Your Honour. I drew two circles like this: O o"...and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable!" said the Judge. To Gatiep the judge said, "And you, how did you do?" "Well, Your Honour, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that?" "Well, I used a similar approach. I drew two circles: o O" and said (pointing' to the small circle) "this is your asshole before going to prison..." |
| Farm Sounds A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew the correct sound. "Who knows what sound a cow makes?" she asked. Cindie put her hand up and said "Moooo!" "Very good" replied the teacher,"what sound do sheep make?" "Baaaa" answered Jimmy. She continued this for a while. Then she asked, "What sound does a pig make?" All the hands in the class went up. She was surprised at the response. She chose Little Johnny at the back of the class. He stood up, took a deep breath, and screamed, "Up against the wall you son of a bitch!!" |
| Lesson Number One A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very highup. |