A quick look at the regulars at Mario's!
Jesse
AKA: Jizzy or Dirty Sanchez
Chris
AKA: Junior or Big Daddy
Justin
AKA: Justinio or Basteaux
Idris
AKA: The Groper
Idris, or Big Id the Party Groper, has the distinction of feeling up the most women ever in one night at Slutty Mario's. Even though most of the girls he felt up left immediately in a disgusted rage. Although Idris is afraid of beer he can put away a wine cooler with the best of 'em! Idris' weak point comes at the end of the night when he flips off people uncontrollably then procedes to pass out on the couch.
Jake
AKA: Yacob
Pad
AKA: BuzzSaw or Paddy Whacker
Pad, with dominatrix girlfriend Laura, enjoys cruising around town in his new car acting like he's tough. Although it is hard to act tough when your car is an Elantra with no bass and fruity stickers on the doors. When Pad drinks in abundance we often find him apologizing to his girlfriend about his actions that evening, beer still in hand. (Editors Note: Pad recently installed two subwoofers in his Elantra, and even though one is blown, you can now detect a slight buzz coming from his trunk that may count as bass)
Dave
AKA: The King or Dwarf or Wee Man or Swivel Head or Tiny Nutz or Eddie Munster
At a towering 5'5'', Dave is the shortest patron of Slutty Mario's and is often mistaken for a little school boy. During the day Dave can be found contaminating food at a local restaraunt (at the Mall), by night Dave is a lady killer at some of the local bars (the one's he hasn't been banned from). Dave's greatest moment was being awarded "Most Drunk" at Slutty Mario's First Annual Halloween Party. Dave performs community service by patroling the city on rollerblades making citizens arrests. Because, as he puts it, he's "with the police".
Kevin
AKA: The Big Red Retard (He usually answers to about anything)
At 6'5'' with a shimmering red maine, we have dubbed him the "Big Red Retard". Fancying himself the next Vanilla Ice, Kevin is often found reciting rap lyrics to no one in particular at parties. Easily having the lowest standards of any Slutty Mario's patron, he can often be found at the end of parties searching for anyone drunk enough to sleep with him. Unfortunately for Kevin, his sucess rate still is around zero. Well except for that incident that involved a snorkel, two clothes pins, and some girl we don't know and haven't seen since, we've told the cops everything we know...we swear.
Shaun
AKA: The Other Half or Crass
Shaun or "The little drummer boy" also can be found at the local restaurant (still at the mall) although most miss Shaun due to his tardiness every shift. Shaun, with his "tell it how it is" attitude comes in handy a lot at work often making small girls blush and weep. Usually after work Shaun is found at the local gas station stocking up on Big Bear 40oz. malt liquor for what is to become a LONG night. Some have even seen him playing the most popular "flip cup" 40oz's at a time.
Dave
AKA: Dicky or Powder Pants or Noodle Arm or Deuce
Dispite rumors, this stylishly dressed boy is not a homosexual. Well, not counting that one night with Corkey when they were found "passed" out on the bedroom foor... Oh yeah, and the other time he brought his "friend from school" over to party, they were found all cozy in the cornor of the bar...alone with a half empty gallon bottle of vodka... Dickey is often seen trying to bribe older people to buy him Barton's Vodka. Dicky enjoys cheap vodka and cheap women, often several years younger then him...Shady huh?
Bob
AKA: Crow Hole, The Uni-BOBber, The Notorious B.O.B. or quite simply Angry Bob
Jesse
AKA: Jizzy or Dirty Sanchez
Chris
AKA: Junior or Big Daddy
Justin
AKA: Justinio or Basteaux
Idris
AKA: The Groper
Idris, or Big Id the Party Groper, has the distinction of feeling up the most women ever in one night at Slutty Mario's. Even though most of the girls he felt up left immediately in a disgusted rage. Although Idris is afraid of beer he can put away a wine cooler with the best of 'em! Idris' weak point comes at the end of the night when he flips off people uncontrollably then procedes to pass out on the couch.
Jake
AKA: Yacob
Pad
AKA: BuzzSaw or Paddy Whacker
Pad, with dominatrix girlfriend Laura, enjoys cruising around town in his new car acting like he's tough. Although it is hard to act tough when your car is an Elantra with no bass and fruity stickers on the doors. When Pad drinks in abundance we often find him apologizing to his girlfriend about his actions that evening, beer still in hand. (Editors Note: Pad recently installed two subwoofers in his Elantra, and even though one is blown, you can now detect a slight buzz coming from his trunk that may count as bass)
Dave
AKA: The King or Dwarf or Wee Man or Swivel Head or Tiny Nutz or Eddie Munster
At a towering 5'5'', Dave is the shortest patron of Slutty Mario's and is often mistaken for a little school boy. During the day Dave can be found contaminating food at a local restaraunt (at the Mall), by night Dave is a lady killer at some of the local bars (the one's he hasn't been banned from). Dave's greatest moment was being awarded "Most Drunk" at Slutty Mario's First Annual Halloween Party. Dave performs community service by patroling the city on rollerblades making citizens arrests. Because, as he puts it, he's "with the police".
Kevin
AKA: The Big Red Retard (He usually answers to about anything)
At 6'5'' with a shimmering red maine, we have dubbed him the "Big Red Retard". Fancying himself the next Vanilla Ice, Kevin is often found reciting rap lyrics to no one in particular at parties. Easily having the lowest standards of any Slutty Mario's patron, he can often be found at the end of parties searching for anyone drunk enough to sleep with him. Unfortunately for Kevin, his sucess rate still is around zero. Well except for that incident that involved a snorkel, two clothes pins, and some girl we don't know and haven't seen since, we've told the cops everything we know...we swear.
Shaun
AKA: The Other Half or Crass
Shaun or "The little drummer boy" also can be found at the local restaurant (still at the mall) although most miss Shaun due to his tardiness every shift. Shaun, with his "tell it how it is" attitude comes in handy a lot at work often making small girls blush and weep. Usually after work Shaun is found at the local gas station stocking up on Big Bear 40oz. malt liquor for what is to become a LONG night. Some have even seen him playing the most popular "flip cup" 40oz's at a time.
Dave
AKA: Dicky or Powder Pants or Noodle Arm or Deuce
Dispite rumors, this stylishly dressed boy is not a homosexual. Well, not counting that one night with Corkey when they were found "passed" out on the bedroom foor... Oh yeah, and the other time he brought his "friend from school" over to party, they were found all cozy in the cornor of the bar...alone with a half empty gallon bottle of vodka... Dickey is often seen trying to bribe older people to buy him Barton's Vodka. Dicky enjoys cheap vodka and cheap women, often several years younger then him...Shady huh?
Bob
AKA: Crow Hole, The Uni-BOBber, The Notorious B.O.B. or quite simply Angry Bob
Jake
AKA: Yacob
Pad
AKA: BuzzSaw or Paddy Whacker
Pad, with dominatrix girlfriend Laura, enjoys cruising around town in his new car acting like he's tough. Although it is hard to act tough when your car is an Elantra with no bass and fruity stickers on the doors. When Pad drinks in abundance we often find him apologizing to his girlfriend about his actions that evening, beer still in hand. (Editors Note: Pad recently installed two subwoofers in his Elantra, and even though one is blown, you can now detect a slight buzz coming from his trunk that may count as bass)
Dave
AKA: The King or Dwarf or Wee Man or Swivel Head or Tiny Nutz or Eddie Munster
At a towering 5'5'', Dave is the shortest patron of Slutty Mario's and is often mistaken for a little school boy. During the day Dave can be found contaminating food at a local restaraunt (at the Mall), by night Dave is a lady killer at some of the local bars (the one's he hasn't been banned from). Dave's greatest moment was being awarded "Most Drunk" at Slutty Mario's First Annual Halloween Party. Dave performs community service by patroling the city on rollerblades making citizens arrests. Because, as he puts it, he's "with the police".
Kevin
AKA: The Big Red Retard (He usually answers to about anything)
At 6'5'' with a shimmering red maine, we have dubbed him the "Big Red Retard". Fancying himself the next Vanilla Ice, Kevin is often found reciting rap lyrics to no one in particular at parties. Easily having the lowest standards of any Slutty Mario's patron, he can often be found at the end of parties searching for anyone drunk enough to sleep with him. Unfortunately for Kevin, his sucess rate still is around zero. Well except for that incident that involved a snorkel, two clothes pins, and some girl we don't know and haven't seen since, we've told the cops everything we know...we swear.
Shaun
AKA: The Other Half or Crass
Shaun or "The little drummer boy" also can be found at the local restaurant (still at the mall) although most miss Shaun due to his tardiness every shift. Shaun, with his "tell it how it is" attitude comes in handy a lot at work often making small girls blush and weep. Usually after work Shaun is found at the local gas station stocking up on Big Bear 40oz. malt liquor for what is to become a LONG night. Some have even seen him playing the most popular "flip cup" 40oz's at a time.
Dave
AKA: Dicky or Powder Pants or Noodle Arm or Deuce
Dispite rumors, this stylishly dressed boy is not a homosexual. Well, not counting that one night with Corkey when they were found "passed" out on the bedroom foor... Oh yeah, and the other time he brought his "friend from school" over to party, they were found all cozy in the cornor of the bar...alone with a half empty gallon bottle of vodka... Dickey is often seen trying to bribe older people to buy him Barton's Vodka. Dicky enjoys cheap vodka and cheap women, often several years younger then him...Shady huh?
Bob
AKA: Crow Hole, The Uni-BOBber, The Notorious B.O.B. or quite simply Angry Bob
Dave
AKA: The King or Dwarf or Wee Man or Swivel Head or Tiny Nutz or Eddie Munster
At a towering 5'5'', Dave is the shortest patron of Slutty Mario's and is often mistaken for a little school boy. During the day Dave can be found contaminating food at a local restaraunt (at the Mall), by night Dave is a lady killer at some of the local bars (the one's he hasn't been banned from). Dave's greatest moment was being awarded "Most Drunk" at Slutty Mario's First Annual Halloween Party. Dave performs community service by patroling the city on rollerblades making citizens arrests. Because, as he puts it, he's "with the police".
Kevin
AKA: The Big Red Retard (He usually answers to about anything)
At 6'5'' with a shimmering red maine, we have dubbed him the "Big Red Retard". Fancying himself the next Vanilla Ice, Kevin is often found reciting rap lyrics to no one in particular at parties. Easily having the lowest standards of any Slutty Mario's patron, he can often be found at the end of parties searching for anyone drunk enough to sleep with him. Unfortunately for Kevin, his sucess rate still is around zero. Well except for that incident that involved a snorkel, two clothes pins, and some girl we don't know and haven't seen since, we've told the cops everything we know...we swear.
Shaun
AKA: The Other Half or Crass
Shaun or "The little drummer boy" also can be found at the local restaurant (still at the mall) although most miss Shaun due to his tardiness every shift. Shaun, with his "tell it how it is" attitude comes in handy a lot at work often making small girls blush and weep. Usually after work Shaun is found at the local gas station stocking up on Big Bear 40oz. malt liquor for what is to become a LONG night. Some have even seen him playing the most popular "flip cup" 40oz's at a time.
Dave
AKA: Dicky or Powder Pants or Noodle Arm or Deuce
Dispite rumors, this stylishly dressed boy is not a homosexual. Well, not counting that one night with Corkey when they were found "passed" out on the bedroom foor... Oh yeah, and the other time he brought his "friend from school" over to party, they were found all cozy in the cornor of the bar...alone with a half empty gallon bottle of vodka... Dickey is often seen trying to bribe older people to buy him Barton's Vodka. Dicky enjoys cheap vodka and cheap women, often several years younger then him...Shady huh?
Bob
AKA: Crow Hole, The Uni-BOBber, The Notorious B.O.B. or quite simply Angry Bob
Kevin
AKA: The Big Red Retard (He usually answers to about anything)
At 6'5'' with a shimmering red maine, we have dubbed him the "Big Red Retard". Fancying himself the next Vanilla Ice, Kevin is often found reciting rap lyrics to no one in particular at parties. Easily having the lowest standards of any Slutty Mario's patron, he can often be found at the end of parties searching for anyone drunk enough to sleep with him. Unfortunately for Kevin, his sucess rate still is around zero. Well except for that incident that involved a snorkel, two clothes pins, and some girl we don't know and haven't seen since, we've told the cops everything we know...we swear.
Shaun
AKA: The Other Half or Crass
Shaun or "The little drummer boy" also can be found at the local restaurant (still at the mall) although most miss Shaun due to his tardiness every shift. Shaun, with his "tell it how it is" attitude comes in handy a lot at work often making small girls blush and weep. Usually after work Shaun is found at the local gas station stocking up on Big Bear 40oz. malt liquor for what is to become a LONG night. Some have even seen him playing the most popular "flip cup" 40oz's at a time.
Dave
AKA: Dicky or Powder Pants or Noodle Arm or Deuce
Dispite rumors, this stylishly dressed boy is not a homosexual. Well, not counting that one night with Corkey when they were found "passed" out on the bedroom foor... Oh yeah, and the other time he brought his "friend from school" over to party, they were found all cozy in the cornor of the bar...alone with a half empty gallon bottle of vodka... Dickey is often seen trying to bribe older people to buy him Barton's Vodka. Dicky enjoys cheap vodka and cheap women, often several years younger then him...Shady huh?
Bob
AKA: Crow Hole, The Uni-BOBber, The Notorious B.O.B. or quite simply Angry Bob
Shaun
AKA: The Other Half or Crass
Shaun or "The little drummer boy" also can be found at the local restaurant (still at the mall) although most miss Shaun due to his tardiness every shift. Shaun, with his "tell it how it is" attitude comes in handy a lot at work often making small girls blush and weep. Usually after work Shaun is found at the local gas station stocking up on Big Bear 40oz. malt liquor for what is to become a LONG night. Some have even seen him playing the most popular "flip cup" 40oz's at a time.
Dave
AKA: Dicky or Powder Pants or Noodle Arm or Deuce
Dispite rumors, this stylishly dressed boy is not a homosexual. Well, not counting that one night with Corkey when they were found "passed" out on the bedroom foor... Oh yeah, and the other time he brought his "friend from school" over to party, they were found all cozy in the cornor of the bar...alone with a half empty gallon bottle of vodka... Dickey is often seen trying to bribe older people to buy him Barton's Vodka. Dicky enjoys cheap vodka and cheap women, often several years younger then him...Shady huh?
Bob
AKA: Crow Hole, The Uni-BOBber, The Notorious B.O.B. or quite simply Angry Bob
Dave
AKA: Dicky or Powder Pants or Noodle Arm or Deuce
Dispite rumors, this stylishly dressed boy is not a homosexual. Well, not counting that one night with Corkey when they were found "passed" out on the bedroom foor... Oh yeah, and the other time he brought his "friend from school" over to party, they were found all cozy in the cornor of the bar...alone with a half empty gallon bottle of vodka... Dickey is often seen trying to bribe older people to buy him Barton's Vodka. Dicky enjoys cheap vodka and cheap women, often several years younger then him...Shady huh?
Bob
AKA: Crow Hole, The Uni-BOBber, The Notorious B.O.B. or quite simply Angry Bob