A NIGHT OUT WITH WEIRD AL
ONE FAN AT THE POODLE HAT TOUR--PART 1

Saturday morning, July 12th,was my son Matt's 12th Birthday. I called Matt into the Dining Room, told him he needed to study up & threw him the new Weird Al CD. Part of the fun of the Al fan thing is to know ALL the lyrics to the songs-especially if you are going to a concert. So we got Al'ed up with the new album songs til it was time to leave. We left early to get down to Allentown....just in case there was an accident on the turnpike or some other catastrophe en route to keep us from getting there.
We had an early dinner at the restaurant of Matt's choice-Lone Star. Matt told the waiter it was his birthday and he brought him a FREE Brownie Blast Dessert. gawd! burp....lol
We get to the Fairgrounds at 7...concert slated to being at 8. We walked 3 city blocks worth from the car parking lot to the concert area....that about wore my knee out. We got to the line to get in right when it started moving in. The stage was in the center of the racetrack area, the best seats where set up on the track area and then the cheap seats were the permanent grandstand bleachers. We sat on hard wooden folding chairs.ugh After an hour my butt was numb. There were temp. numbers marking the rows and seat numbers. The people checking tickets at the section entrances were CLUELESS about what section was what! as the Gate entrance was not matched to the numbering for the concert. We ended up finding our seats after only having to move once.lolol There was a center section flanked by an aisle on either side. Beyond those aisles were the next best section which was were we were-19 rows from the stage. Each section was only about 14 seats long so we had GOOD seats and could see everything without needing binoculars. The only problem was we were just a shade left toward center of the HUGE onstage ampliferage banks. I was packing 2 sets of foam ear plugs as I had been warned by a friend who took her son to the 2000 tour....but we were outside so I hoped I wouldn't need them.ha

We had an hour to kill.....checked out the T-Shirt/Souvenir booth....$25 for a tshirt....$40 for a polo shirt....eek! My wallet was looking pretty bare already so we had to pass. Then we sat back and watched the Weird Al Die-Hards as they arrived. Al seems to, at least in this part of the country, attract 3 main types of people...1)the die hard fan....he/she is silly and haha funny and dresses up and brings signs, 2)the teenage boy....these are mostly geeky nerdy boys who enjoy lampooning pop culture & Al is their hero, & 3)old ex hippie who are Al's generation. Guess which group I belong to?lol My favs die-hards were the old bald guy holding up an "I heart you Al!" sign....no, it wasn't his kid's sign. hmmmmmm Then there was the lady who had purple hair....I am not talking a hair tint or food coloring....I am talking she must be my age or older with white or totally grayed hair that she dyed blue purple. It looked like Noah had magic markered her head!!!lol I have never seen anyone with that color hair before.... There was the guy with the big spatula too. hmmmmm...you have to know UHF the Movie to get that one. As this Tour is called the Poodle Hat Tour and the CD/Album is the Poodle Hat Album there was a parade of weird hats.......pink fluffy hats, chinese hats, an orange marabou covered homemade number shaped like a round birthday cake. Two older teen boys behind us and to the side had taken Ty black poodle beanies and tied them on their heads with elastic!LMAO Now, why didn't I think of that?? There were some other bigger stuffed poodle/questionable breed dog chapeaus as I looked around further. The reason for the name of the tour.....it's a double reference-to Al's permanent afro looking hair(it's naturally curly)and to his dog Bella the poodle who is pictured on the Cd cover sitting on Al's head. Bella is also featured on the back of the official Tour T-shirt along with the tour dates.


Come 8 o'clock and some guy on stage announces the opening act.....huh?, nobody said anything about an opening act. They had a local lounge duo act up there to warm us up. It might have worked better if they actually played something PEPPY tho.lol Instead we got Alanis Morrissette, Carole King(don't hit me, I still have my Tapestry album) & stuff like that. Her partner on the bass was VERY enamored of his guitar skills, unlike the crowd.rofl The gal in the act kept plugging their lounge act's appearance at some local dive......at the end of their set(FINALLY!!!)she asked the crowd, "Come on down to the *whatever the name of the dive was*.....we're going to have the after show party there.....so, are ya going to come over??" Our section at least yelled back in unison, 'NOOOOOOOO!' Obviously nobody told her you don't play it straight to a Weird Al crowd & not get heckled.hehehehe
After that duo left the stage, Dan turns to Matt the Guillible and says, "Come on, let's go! Show's over.....we only got these seats for the warm up show.....someone else is coming in to use em for the Weird Al part." Have I told you people DH is a bigger smartass than me??
So it's 8:30 now......back to the taped rock muzack pre show stuff......no Al.......8:40.......no Al......8:50.......no Al.....are you getting the picture?.....the crowd and my 3 kids are getting antsy by now. I turned to Dan and said, "Ya know, Al prolly has it written into his contract that he doesn't come on stage until they meet a certain sales number on the Souvenir concession. You'd better get over there and part with some money so we can start this show." Knowing what little I do about the music industry/talent, I am prolly not too far off the truth here. Dan retorts with, "Damn the Poodle Hat Tour, I've got 2 Beagles at home that need to pee!....get this thing started so we can get home." Can you tell Dan is not a died in the wool hardcore fan?

A shade after 9 pm and they finally bring the lights down. Al finally makes his appearance in a lovely POLKA dot on black shirt, playing the accordian. The first number is "Angry White Boys Polka".....ummm, how to explain this number....think of Limp Biskit or a Kid Rock song done playing an accordian to a Polka beat. Can you say hilarious?lolol It was a rocky start to the night tho cuz Al's mike was not working....we could see his mouth moving but nothing was coming out over the roar of the music. A roadie did a quick mike switch....still nothing......then he decided to flip the on switch on the first mike and put that one back on the stand....success!.....the crowd let's out a big Whhooop! Ah, technology....only as good as the human operating it.lolol


Next came the new CD number, PARTY AT THE LEPER COLONY....an original number, sick funny, Sonny would enjoy it.lol Next highlight was another new number, A COMPLICATED SONG(send off of COMPLICATED by Avril Lavigne)...
Sonny would also enjoy this one....here's one of the choruses.....
"Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom... I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take the laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
No no no"



Next hilite was ITS ALL ABOUT THE PENTIUMS BABY.....a classic past hit (send off of ITS ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS by Puffy Daddy/P Diddy)

"Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar
Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
You're just about as useless as jpegs to Helen Keller" (I love that line...hehehe)


Then there was TRASH DAY (take off on IT'S HOT IN HERE by Nelly) chorus goes like this....
"There's somethin' rotten here (say what?)
You better hold your nose"



Interspersed with the numbers was visual clips on a big screen at the back of the stage.....weird Al clips, oddballs bad film strips like you saw in school in the 50's-60's and also something called AL-TV....kind of like MTV interviews. Al makes interviews up by taking clips of celebs talking and putting himself interviewing them segments inbetween the clips....I hope you can follow what I mean. The best moments of those were him getting Avril L. to tell the world her butt crack was average, getting Justin Timberlake to tell the world that Britney has huge hooters and a funny segment with Eminem or M&M if you prefer(hehehe)where M just kept saying "ya know what I mean" like some of that rapper crowd has a habit of saying after everything they say like I have a habit of ..........-ing and Sonny has a habit of saying Hhhmmmmm.lolol Also in the interview with M, Al showed a clip of M saying how he believes in the freedom of speech and artistic license and that shouldn't be interfered with, with Al responding, "so if say a performer wanted to parody a famous artist's work and make a music video of it, you think they should be allowed to do that?" to which M's clip responded, "Yah, ya know what I mean". At this the crowd went nuts clapping, Booing and hollering! You have to understand that on occasion some big stars take offense when Al does send offs on their hits-not so much now as back when he got started. There was an infamous incident with Coolio when he came out with AMISH PARADISE(take off on Coolio's GANGSTA'S PARADISE). Eminem was OK with Al parodying one of his songs for the new album and tour but he refused to let him make a music video of it......thus, the reaction from the crowd to Mr. Marshall Mathers.

Then there was a medley of classic Al material....starting with MONEY FOR NOTHING/The Beverly Hillbillies Theme(I thought of you Cyndi!lolol).......Jerry Springer(ONE WEEK by BareNaked Ladies-that annoying car commercial song lol), LASAGNA(LA BAMBA by Los Lobos)"la-lasagna.....", GUMP(LUMP by Presidents of the United States of America) and my all time favs--Pretty Fly for a Rabbi(PRETTY FLY [FOR A WHITE GUY] by Offspring....
"People used to scoff, now they say "Mazel tov!"
He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off
Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul
What's not to like? What's not to like?
On high holy days, you know he prays and prays
And he never eats pastrami on white breath with mayonnaise
Put on your yarmulka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!"



And then there was FREE DELIVERY(My Heart Will Go On from Titanic by Celine Dion)dressed as a Domino's delivery guy......sing with me the choruses....
"Near, far, I'll jump in my car
You just call in your order and I'm gone
You know, we hand toss our dough
Just tell me what you want and the toppings will go on and on


Deep dish, whatever you wish
Even get two for one with a coupon
You must try our special crust
But just don't eat too fast or your heartburn will go on and on"



Then he broke into the eBay Song......with me singing along cuz I know ALL the words now.lol Dan told me I should have made a big Power Seller sign to wave....hehehe

PROCEED TO PART TWO

Click on Al to go to PART 2

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Report copyrighted 2003 Denise Bowman-Arcure
Pictures borrowed from the net-mostly from the Official Weird Al Website(www.weirdal.com)