the oddity lexicon:
unanswered questions:
Why is it a pair of pants when you only get one?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
What happens when none of your bees wax?
Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts - but as mattresses?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Is Atheism is a nonprophet organization?
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands...
Do you need a silencer to if you are going to shoot a Mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy that drives the snow plough get to work in the morning?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year, why are there
locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed REAL hard, would milk come out it's nose?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to pans?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a
height, what would happen? (think about it!)
Why isn't "phonetic" spelt the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in petrol stations when smoking is prohibited
there?
Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy
booze, and who do bars have car parks?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why is it that when you transport something by car it's called a
"shipment", but when you transport something by ship, it's called "cargo"?
Why, when you're driving and looking for an address, do you turn down
the volume of the radio?
If you're finger is touching a rear-vision mirror that says "objects in
mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why is it called a TV "Set" when you only get one?
Why does your nose "run" and your feet "smell"?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it's ringing?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is it called a "building" when it's already built?
Why are they called "apartments" when they're all stuck together?
Why is there an expiry date on sour cream?
Why do "flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
What is another word for "Thesaurus"?
If 75% of all accidents occur within 5km of home, why not move 10km
away?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
When they ship polystyrene, what do they pack it in?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on
money they already know you don't have?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know
the battery is dead?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to
be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that
the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving
backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
(I've tried it, it doesn't work)
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians
eat?
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they
are in charge of everything outdoors?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear
his Walkman?
If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get
mistletoe?
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then
what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales
look the way they do?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog
horns out of?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of
a running child?
Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game, when we are
already there?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush
hour?
"If your cat has kittens in the oven, do you call them bis-kitts?"
"Why do they call our business communications when nobody knows what is going on?"
"If you went back in time to kill your grandma, would your mom still piss you off?" - Marvin
the oddity lexicon: