the oddity lexicon
top 9 whatevers
Top 9 ways to tell you where robbed by a CRACK HEAD at Wal-Mart. [true story]
9. When they break in, they leave you some crack...
8. The Rearview mirror is broken and there are foot prints on your headliner...
7. Other customers laugh at the "funny, stinky driver"
6. [FACT!] The wet dog oder from your cousin borrowing your truck is replaced with something truly FUNKY!
5. There are more than one unidentifiable substances on the steering wheel...
4. He opened your door with his nappy-ass head.
3. You knew something bad was going to happen when you got the really good parking place...
2. You feel like YOU need some CRACK!
1. [FACT!] You have $300 worth of radio equipment, a $200 stereo and walkie-talkies and all they steal is the dashboard clock and all the change in the ash tray.
Top 9 Really Scary nicknames. No, these are not real.
9. Willie "Don't Ask" Hastings
8. Johnny "Sprinkles" Jackson
7. Grace "Tuna Boat" Carter
6. Mike "Mr. Dribbles" Wakowski
5. Eugene "Squeaky Pants" Barker
4. Debra "Giggle Toe" Wilbert
3. "Fish Lips" Steve Hogaboom
2. Marvin "Twin Eater" Van Goork
1. Billy "Binky Tinky" Winkie
Top 9 Things Learned from getting a bad back
9. People tend to avoid you thinking you'll ask for help...
8. Pain can mess with your mind...
7. The greater the pain, the stronger the pill the doctor gives you - WHOOOO!!!
6. True friends hang around and help...
5. Texas has the worst bumpy roads...
4. Pain is nothing compared to not being able to POOH!
3. Why are all the health foods on the top shelf?
2. The bills just keep on commin'...
1. It's hard to disco when your disk is gone!
Top 9 bad cereal names
9. Crunchy Toe Nails
8. Plasma-O's
7. Dookie Doo
6. Neverland Ranch Crunch
5. Sludge
4. Tufu Tooties
3. Fruit -n- Crack
2. Fiber Blitz
1. Poopies!
Top 9 Things we can do without this year [2004]: by Brandi
9. Telemarketers who call after 9:00pm at night
8. Okay, telemarketers in general...
7. People who have WAAAAYYY too much drama in their lives and insist on taking you along for the ride...
6. Over Priced Shoes
5. Burnt Pork Chops
4. Users and losers
3. Boyfriends who can't wash dishes
2. Reality TV
1. breakable, plastic, over-priced thingies.
Top 9 Signs of "G"
9. Beautiful women get in line to take out your garbage...
8. Your ex-girlfriend refers to you as "the Hammer"...
7. Your jewelery can be seen from space...
6. The amount of cash in your pocket requires you to wear a bigger size...
5. A nod from you can make the ladies fight to the death...
4. You carry seven cell phones - one for each day of the week...
3. Your pager has satellite tracking...
2. Even your Mama calls you, "Pimp Juice"...
1. Snoop Dogg calls YOU for advice...
Top 9 Things that nobody really wanted for Christmas
9. Industrial Toe Flexer
8. Don King Chia Pet
7. Anti-Orgasim Pills
6. Haggis Trail Mix
5. Pickeled Kittens
4. Inkless Pens
3. Mint Flavored Frogs
2. Granny Panty Calendar
1. Rubber Gromet Catalogs
Top 9 Things Overheard at the office Christmas Party that have blackmail potential
9. Look what fell into my pants!
8. I'm not as think as you drunk I am...
7. How did your sweater get on backwards?
6. Good God! You've got a fat ass!
5. If you moved a little to the left, we'd be considered married...
4. It's better on top, but the bottom sucks...
3. Swallow, but try not to gag...
2. I'll touch yours if you touch mine!
1. As a boss, you suck!
the oddity lexicon: