FEMALE WISDOM: 

* There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.

* If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them over with roller blades, they can ignite.

* A 4 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

* If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is   not strong
  enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing   Pound Puppy underwear and a
  Superman cape.

* It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four   walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

* Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

* You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan   is on.

* When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw   the ball up
  a few times before you get a hit.

* A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

* The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a   baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

* When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late.

* Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

* A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even   though a 36
  year old man says they can only do it in   the movies.

* A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast   day.

* McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.

* If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing   baseball shoes
  it does not leak. It explodes.

* A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000   sq foot
  house 4 inches deep.

* Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a   four year old.

* Duplos will not.

* Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.