the oddity lexicon

extraordinarily bad pick up lines

  • Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

  • Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

  • Baicarumba...are those real?

  • Be unique and different, just say yes.

  • Can I flirt with you?

  • Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

  • Do you know karate? Cos damn it honey, your body is really kickin.

  • Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.

  • Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

  • Greetings and salivations

  • Honey, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to your house.

  • I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away!

  • I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

  • I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.

  • If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just practice?

  • Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

  • That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

  • Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.

  • Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!

  • Do you want to see something swell?

  • Do you work for UPS / ParcelForce? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

  • Have I seen you before? Oh, yeah, I remember - it was in the dictionary under the word FANBLEEDINGTASTIC!

  • Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

  • Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street.

  • Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

  • I have 4 words for you "Hol I Day Inn".

  • If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?

  • If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.

  • Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.

  • Screw me if I'm wrong, but I could swear you were Julia Roberts.

  • The word of the day is "legs." Let's say we head back to your place and spread the word.

  • You've been a bad, bad girl (boy). Now go to my room!

  • Your Daddy must play the trumpet, cos he sure made me horny!

  • Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

  • I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic

  • I'm good at math, U+I=69

  • I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK

  • Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.

  • Please help the homeless. Take me home with you...

  • Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.

  • What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?

  • Will you be my Xmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.

  • Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?

  • You are a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

  • You're good at mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a perfect square?

  • Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you got the nicest set of buns I've ever saw.

  • Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

  • Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.

  • Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?

  • Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day.

  • Got two nipples for a dime?

  • Help, somethings wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you.

  • Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!

  • Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?

  • I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.

  • I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

  • Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!

  • You're eyes are bluer than the atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea.

  • You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!

  • You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

  • Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?

  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

  • I bet you $40 you're gonna turn me down.

  • I know that Milk does the body good, but wow, how much you been drinking?

  • I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

  • I'm betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.

  • Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

  • Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it bad, it still pretty darn good.

  • When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

  • Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

  • You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: if you treat me right I'll do it your way

  • You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.

  • You know the Power company is looking for you coz you're so electrifying.

  • You know, I ain't this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet.

  • You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I just can't stop ya.

  • Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

  • Of course there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd love to catch and mount back at my place.

  • Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

  • How was Heaven when you left it?

  • You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

  • Honey, you give new meaning to the defintion of 'edible'.

  • I think I can die happy now, coz I've just seen a piece of heaven.

  • You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.

  • You should be someone's wife.

  • Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

  • You've made me so nervous that I've totally forgotten forgotten my standard pick-up line.

  • Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

  • Is your name Gillette? ...coz you're the best a man can get.

  • If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

  • It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

  • Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

  • I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

  • Grab yer bag Doll...you've just pulled...

  • I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.

  • If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.

  • There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're name.

  • Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

  • What time do you have to be back in heaven?

  • Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

  • You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

  • You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.

  • You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

  • You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!

  • You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast.

  • Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly colour coordinated.

  • I know a great way to burn off the calories in that cake you just ate.

  • I wonder what our children will look like.

  • I'm wearing Revlon colourstay lipstick. Wanna help me test the claim it won't kiss off?

  • If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

  • If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town.

  • If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".

  • It must be cold in here - or are you just happy to see me?

  • Since sex is a killer, would ya like to die happy?

  • That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

  • The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

  • There gotta be a keg in your pants, coz I wanna tap that ass.

  • There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.

  • Was your Father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

  • Baby, You're so hot, your ass is on fire.

    the oddity lexicon:
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