the oddity lexicon
new years resolutions
Sluggo's Resolutions
I resolve that as I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.
I resolve I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
I resolve that I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
I resolve that in some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
I resolve that my intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.
I resolve that I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.
I resolve that when someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.
I resolve that I am at one with my duality.
I resolve that blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves in knots.
I resolve to strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.
I resolve to honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
I resolve, Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"
I resolve that a scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.
I resolve that just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
I resolve I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I will spend it worrying about the future?
I resolve that the complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that the conspiracy is working.
I resolve that before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.
Chef's's Resolutions
I will stop stealing spoons from Buffet Retaurants...
I will keep my shoes tied at all times...
I will not be held back by "the man"...
Becky's Resolutions
I will not get any more credit cards this year...
I will not find anymore really stupid men that are really cute...
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