tripthree

TRIP THREE - DBX/Disarray

WHO:        Melissa, Moo & I
WHEN:      August 8th - August 11th, 2002
WHERE:    Tampa & Orlando, FL
WHAT:      Eh, some lame ass shows
WHY:        Because I had to thank "Oderus" for the moneyshot!

Huh? Because you had to thank WHO for a moneyshot?!?! This whole saga of the recent roadtrips can be traced back to this first show at the Brass Mug in Tampa. Or, if you really wanna dig, you could find the roots in January 26th, 2002 when Moo & I saw our first GWAR show... at that show I was one of the first in the crowd blasted in the face with a moneyshot from "Oderus" when his cuttlefish first started spewing. I saw what was coming and I screamed and screamed and screamed, waved my arms up and howled until he looked me in the eye and blew a load in my face. I was just a nameless, yapping fan in the crowd who he probably didn't think he'd ever see again. I wanted another moneyshot, that was awesome!! For months I went on and on about my moment of glory, despite the funny looks and gagging reactions I got. Friend of mine Vance who I met on Metal Sludge a few years back was touring with GWAR a few weeks after that show. His band (Disarray) would also tour with a GWAR-related project (Dave Brockie Experience) this summer. Vance saw my Sludgette of the Month interview on Sludge in June where in my "thank yous" I thanked Oderus for that moneyshot that changed my life. I wanted to say thanx!   One particularly lame ass summer evening when I got off of work at 4am only to get up at 5am to go back to work (I worked 19 hours a day; mornings at Entenmann's Bakery and nites at taco Bell) I checked the Metal Sludge boards just to kill some braincells and stay awake. I posted something incoherent and unrelated to what Vance had been talking about. Then he posted back almost right away saying something along the lines of, "Hey, do you want a chance to thank Oderus for that money shot? We're doing some shows in FL in August, I'll introduce you!" I nearly shit my pants!! I frantically typed back, "OMG, you serious? You fucking kidding me?!?!" He said, "Why would I lie?" Eventually I found out the shows were early August, one in Tampa, one in Orlando. I'd go to both! This was a rather frightening idea since we'd never met anyone in GWAR before. In fact, I was scared shitless. Ever since I saw them on mTV when I was a little girl and when my bro kept blasting the "Scumdogs.." album and later bringing home a live video that made my mom jump outta her skin. After the GWAR show in January we fled and had NO intentions of meeting anyone. I distinctly remember saying, QUOTE, "I bet they're a bunch of assholes! Let's go!" so we dragged our bloody bodies into the parking lot to snap pictures then left.
Now I'd get to meet some of 'em.
My new roadtrip buddy Moo was outta town for the summer but flew back a week before the first show. "Hey fag, a friend of mine's band is playing at the Mug next week... and a GWAR side project band is headlining, I'll get to thank Oderus for that moneyshot!! Wanna come?" Moo beamed, "Hell yeah!!! After those shows tho I gotta fly back to California, I told Chrissy I'd be back before September..."   Ok, no problem!
Ok, that's NOT what went down!
That Thursday nite I was tired and beyond cranky!!! My last nite at Taco Bell was just the nite before and I had to be up at 4am to go to the bakery. And I had a stomach ache from some crap I ate at Chili's an hour before we got to the show. Flung open the doors of the Mug and peeked around. I'd never met Vance nor even seen a picture of him so this'll be fun trying to find him, I thought. He recognized me right off the bat and came over and introduced himself. Chuck (singer) came over too and Moo met one of her future punching bags. Ahhh the nite began! He introduced us to everyone, boy that was some fucked up shit. I'd only seen pics of 'Balsac' before on some fan pic page but I woulda walked right by everyone else! 'Balsac' was the second person we saw, I went right up to him, grinning like a dumbass and said something real stupid, most likely. Since I didn't know who he was, he coulda been Brockie for all I knew since I'd never seen him either. But anyway. We met everyone and Melissa and I started drinking!!! We took a liking to the right side of the bar and started pounding beer after beer after whiskey sour after whiskey sour!!! I don't even remember the show!!! Melissa and I laughed, stumbled around and fell down a few times laughing. The show was fucking hilarious, was all I remembered... and they did some GWAR tunes, I heard that much!!! While Disarray was on Moo got some pics snapped with "the weirdos", I don't remember that... someone else had to have taken the shots cause Melissa and I were busy drooling on ourselves and tripping. I didn't even really talk with anyone besides, "Hey, nice to meet ya!" because I was so fucked up and I'm not a joy to be around when drunk, trust me. I'm just real stupid and say the most obnoxious shit, just ask Moo! She asked Vance to watch over our drunk asses that nite. So I guess everyone also avoided Melissa & I... after the show we sobered up a bit... at least sober enough to ask for pictures. Ahhhh Melissa threatened to pull down her pants for a picture with one of them and he, a complete stranger to Melissa and I's love of showing ass, called her a chickenshit and said she'd never do it. 2 seconds later her ass was outta her pants and everyone cracked up while she kept spanking herself. Priceless... the picture is even better!!!
So now we're staggering around in the parking lot. Sobering up, but not yet right in the head. I heard one of the DBX camp talk about them heading out to go get a hotel.... a hotel, what? NAH!!! This shit ain't over yet! Hey, I've only said about 5 words to you so far tonite but guess what I'm gonna say next?   I wobbled over, grabbed his arm and slurred, "Ahhh, hell no! Nah, man! Hey, *burp* my friend here has an apartment just up the street! All ya'll are MORE than welcome to crash there!!" Of course I hadn't asked Melissa first.   The look on Moo's face was priceless and Melissa just stood there unaware of what I'd said. I turned to her and said, "Oh, is that cool with you, I just invited both bands and crew over to your apartment..." Melissa smiled and said, "Yah, sure!!!"   She later admitted to me she was glad I was still drunk and asked that cause she said she'd never have the balls to offer that. He looked a bit puzzled and said, "Are you sure?" but it was probably more a look of, "Who are you again? I think I only said 5 words to you..." heh heh... "C'mon, it's cool, ya'll can come over!" I rambled. About 30 mins later everyone was at her 1bd/1 bath crash pad. And they learned I worked at a bakery. And so started my bringing donuts and goodies to the next couple shows...   NEXT!!!

"If you wanna live life on your own terms, you gotta be willing to crash and burn..."