| Yes, this is the last page of our first GWAR trip! Oh don't worry... if you are bummed there are still 2 more GWAR trips you can read about. :) So Moo's getting a steady stream of piss in the face, 2 minutes later he walks away and Moo is staring up at him with a priceless look of shock/horror/joy. She turned to me and screamed, "He pissed on me!!" Yep Moo, we know!!! At the end when Slymenstra was doing her dance she grabbed some bloodbags, popped them in her mouth, went right up to Moo & I and spit blood right into our faces, maybe 1 inch away! We both howled and laughed, FUCK YEAH!!!! Slymenstra just spit all over us, WHOOHOOOO!!!!! :) Oh shit!!!! I almost forgot to mention... the dance floor above us?! After only the first 10 mins of the show or so suddenly that small, low rise railling was wavering back and forth... the crowd was so intense and packed up there the thing almost broke causing a wave of people to nearly topple on top of Moo, myself and the others who were crammed between the wall and the barricade. Security was quick to grab ropes and bungee cords to reel the crowd back in, but OMG, looking up at the spectacle that could seriously turn chaotic and crush you was pretty scary. Moo & I had no where to run in case something happened cause we were so packed in, unless we jumped the barricade and tumbled onto the "stage". Thank God nothing happened!!! That nite I decided to wear my platform boots so I could see better, well, little did I know I wouldn't really need it. But the boots never were the same again. Lesson learned, yep!!! After the show but before we went outside to change Moo & I hit up the bathroom. There was a chick in there who was running her mouth off about how damn cool she was so Moo & I kept rolling our eyes at each other. "Yep, I'VE been to EVERY show so far!" she bragged. "Really? Hell yeah," I said. "We've been to all of them too." She gave me a funny look and said, "Uh, I've never seen you girls before tho and I've been to all the shows since Orlando." "Ummm... the tour didn't start in Orlando, it was Myrtle Beach," I corrected her. Oh what's the use. Let her ramble. I forget how she backpeddled but it was something retarded and she left in a huff. Yikes, whatever THAT was all about. Aftershow comic relief, perhaps? Demonstrating her "omg-I-see-another-girl-I-must-destroy-her" skills? Moo & I ran into alot of that along the way and while it's sorta sad and you want to explain to the chick that you aren't in competition with her so she can drop her defenses and act like a human, you really don't care enough to initiate that. Before we left the bathroom my tits were itching so I started to scratch and I felt something plastic in between the 2 girls. What the... OH!!! A bloody plastic bag that I guess got stuck when I was attacked before the show. Cool! I still have that bloody bag somewhere, heh heh... We ran outside and quickly pulled everything off since now we were freezing. "Moo, it's our last nite!" I cried. NOO!!!! It can't be! We dragged the camcorder with so we could say goodbye to everyone. At that point, I still thought that it really was the last show. Before we headed towards the venue we were rearranging and fixing shit in the car while chatting with the Cattle Decap. camp. "We're gonna miss you freaks, you girls were a staple at every show!! We got used to seeing ya'll..." one of them said. "We're gonna miss you weirdos too!" we whined. Not like we really wanted to go back to real life or anything. "I'm glad we finally started talking to ya'll tho, shit, I'm just pissed we didn't talk until FL!" I added. Then one of them said something that really struck a chord. "Well, we didn't approach you guys cause we thought you were only here for GWAR, if you know what I mean..." Uh, what? Well yeah, we wanted to see some shows, but what are you implying? He continued, "You know, we thought you girls were groupies or something and didn't even want to talk to anyone else." Eeeegads! How did we give off that image? (Lesson learned, will be explained more later!) "Oh, no!" I cried. "Naw dude, it ain't like that! We're here to get front row and get our asses kicked!" They all cracked up, "Well we know that now! But you know how most girls are, esp. ones that follow the same band around..." he had a point, unfortunately. We snapped some pics then went over to the rest of the weirdos to say goodbye. God what a shitty nite! I mean, good nite, but shitty that it was our last nite. Stuck the camcorder in everyone's face, snapped pics even tho I was lookin real shitty. One of them asked, "So, this is really it, huh? No more shows?" Suddenly something hit me. "Well, no! Veterans day weekend, I don't give a shit where ya'll are at, we're gonna go!" Moo & I looked at each other, uh, yeah! We'll make it work! We have absolutely NO fucking money and no idea where the shows will be over Vets Day weekend but it just popped in my head at that moment since it was the next time we'd have days to spare. Finished saying bye and hit the road... we decided to hit up a Denny's before pulling over at a rest stop and dozing for the nite. "Awww Moo, don't cry!" I pleaded with her in the car, the look on her face was so sad and I thought she was gonna have a spill over. "I'm not gonna cry," she assured me. The Denny's we stopped at was completely whacked! The service was awful, our waitress sucked! She didn't even come near our table until I flagged her down. Took her 10-15 mins to bring me my coffee, didn't give me cream or sugar OR any silverware. Didn't come back to take our order till I flagged her down again, didn't fill my coffee. And she was a complete bitch on top of it all. All the customers we could see were giving us dirty looks, it was real bad. Maybe it was cause we were the only white people in there, who knows... the food was decent, who knows if they spit in it or not tho. We started to reminise about the past 10 days and then I was the one who started to get all weepy. Before I knew it I was bawling and soaking the table. Moo had to tell me to chill out, it was cute. "I told you not to cry now I'm the one who's crying like a bitch!!" I whined. I got over it cause I knew we were gonna see more shows... of course we didn't know where tho. The next day when we got to Tampa we stopped at Melissa's (of course) to tell her about our trip and look up future tour dates. Ah ha... looks like we've got Massachusettes on a saturday and New York on a sunday... we'll drive on friday nite and monday so we'll miss no school/work and hit 2 shows! Well... no. I cut every corner and skipped every class so we could make it a 5 day/4 nite excursion and include Jersey and Rhode Island. OMG, did we really do that?!!? Lessons Learned: We learned alot of things that were not "very good ideas"... - Don't joke about your sister being underage. She's old enough to get off the porch and play with the big dogs. - While making jokes about herpes and genital warts is funny among your normal friends, famous types won't even crack a smile. It's not a good idea. - The joke that you and Chantel throw back and forth about your dreams of losing your virginity in the back of a tour bus by a vicious tag-team effort while the road crew throws beer cans at you and oinks? Don't bring it up, even in a joking manner. It's not a good idea at all. - The forever on-going joke about you & Moo doing 'tricks' behind all the trashy Denny's for $$$ is all fun and games until someone pulls out a $20. Then you hafta backpeddle faster than a selachophobic in infested waters. - Telling everyone you're a pre-op tranny never gets old. - Joking with a passenger who's never driven with you before about your "normal habit" of driving people into the woods and killing them before stuffing them in the trunk probably wasn't such a hot idea. - No one wants to hear about your period problems. - While feasting off of Wendy's .99 cent and McDonald's $1 menu is cheap, sometimes it's better to swing the extra couple bucks for healthy food so you don't get the runs. - Watch your mouth! Certain words or 'dirty talk' you normally use in conversation needs to be analyzed before being spoken. Such as, when asked why you and your sis keep going front row every nite despite getting squished and you haplessly reply, "Oh cause we're masochists," expect some raised eyebrows and funny looks. - Get as much sleep as possible and don't drink during anymore GWAR shows, ever! - You are a chick so you must deal with the stereotypes it comes with. People are going to think you're morally up to no good despite you being a virgin, having a phobia of other people's beds (tour buses included) and the fact that you never went pounding on the tour bus, pleading to get inside and suck everyone off so you can add some notches to your belt. You're following a band? People are gonna think you're a stalking little slut. Just ignore it and people will eventually catch on to what your intentions are. "C'mon Moo, front row or bust! It's all 'bout front row and walking away covered in blood!" Slapping fives, WHOOHOOOO SHOWTIME!!! ROADTRIP PAGE!!! |