princecharming

Or maybe not. But my constant attraction to the road leads me to believe I'll find my future sucker, er, breeding partner so I can continue on a mutant race of little me's to infect the country and terrorize bands all the world over. What girl doesn't dream big? You know you'd do the same!!!

I started thinking about this since I recently decided that I oughta be a trucker! The idea was tossed at me MANY times during the past few years but I really took it to heart once I realized that I have NO desire to go about any profession that's criminal justice related (my major)... since I'm going to graduate soon I really gotta think about the future! I can't graduate and move back in with Dad and work at the bakery. As much as I'd love to, nah! I need to make money so I can continue my addiction of hitting up the road. Hey, you can get PAID to cruise the country! Yeah you gotta drive a big rig but that sounds sorta cool in & of itself. Hmmm... maybe I oughta give it a shot! Why not? I'm still sorta young, no kids or husband or career to hold me in place. Go where the wind blows me and see where I end up... I'd love to be adventurous & keep "doing whatever" all in the name of "living it up"... some call it "finding themself" but I think I already did that. I'm just adding to it.

Now... try explaining to your old fashioned Dad that you want to do this. It ain't easy. In fact I still haven't broken it to him yet. But he's gonna freak. Months back we had a talk about my spontaneity and tendency to bail alot, not ever staying grounded or keeping in one spot. He was concerned that it might put strain on my "intended path" of finding the right guy, getting married, settling down and squeezing out a litter of puppies then becoming a slave to the home/kids for the next 20 years while putting my life on hold until they're out of my fucking hair. Then invite them back in when I need my ass wiped and diapers changed when I'm 80 and drooling on myself, talking 'bout the "good ol days!" of hitting up the road and how bitter I am that it suddenly ended when I was 24 cause I got hitched and popped out some fuck trophies. (Holding up kid, "Hey look world! I FINALLY GOT SOME DICK!!!! WHOOHOOOO!!!")   That isn't my intended path tho... grrr... yeah I'd love to continue on a line of Me's, that's very important. I think the world needs more Lisa's! All my friends shriek and flee when I talk about this... the thought of another Me scares the pants off of them. I wonder why? But anyway, that's important but not now. Obviously I'm not giving a fuck about love or relationships, if it happens, it happens. But now, love & relationships seem like a handicap to me. Yah I said it... a fucking disability!

Think about it... in a relationship you're handicapped cause you can no longer do all the things you do cause you have this "bum leg", or, a significant other. "Nah, I can't go out with you girls and go trolling for guys, I have this fucking boyfriend back home who's taking up room and not fucking me..." How much would THAT suck!?!   Sorta like you can't go to a concert cause of your broken leg, I won't be able to bail town and hit up the road cause I have this broken leg (or ball & chain!) that would feel all upset if I bailed and didn't want him coming along with. He'd probably get all jealous or assume I'm fucking around on him behind his back. Yeah yeah, how immature of a response is that, cause if it were REAL LOVE then there would be trust and I would LOVE to have him on the road with me, blah blah blah Obviously I ain't ready for that shit yet if I can't even see that as happening. If I ever picture myself with a husband/boyfriend, I'm seeing it as a horrific restriction of my freedom. I really have alot of "living it up" to do... people ramble that I've done enough already but hell no!!!! God it makes me freak out for them cause if they think that I've had enough and they haven't done half the shit I have, I fear that they're so lost in their 9-5 rut or so into this other person that they never had a chance to go out and be nuts and get everything out of their system before settling down. What really makes me cry? Those poor bastards who are living with their boyfriends/girlfriends. Not cause I'm old fashioned and have religious convictions, but living with the person fucks it up! Now you see each other day in/day out, the romance & mystery is gone. No longer do you come home from work on a Friday nite and look forward to getting all dressed up to go out, waiting for him to knock on the door. No. You sit home and rent a movie and sleep. No more adventure or spontaneity unless both of you work real hard at it... you ruin a relationship by moving in together. Married = evil and it's just like being married. See the connection?

Either that or I'm just real fucking selfish and trying to justify it. NAH!!! I'm a sweetie I think *cough cough*... and I'll just be content & happy with scrueing random Bob's at truck stops. No, not that either. I'm obviously not that shallow if I haven't given it up yet after being faced with quite some tempting offers/chances that I turned down. *Kicks self!!! Maybe you shoulda spiked his drink!* But it all happens for a reason, right? Sometimes I want a guy,   :( I can make friends with some truckster and say he's "doing a friend a favor!" right? I can justify shallow, meaningless sex as long as I'm sorta friends with the guy. But fuck relationships and kids. I wanna hit up as many Flying J's and cruise the country for awhile... let's see if Dad accepts...   HOME!!!