| GRAD-YOO-MUH-KAY-SHUN! Wow, is it really that time already? All those semesters of walking by the campus bookstore and seeing the tables out front handing out graduation tickets to those fortunate seniors who were about to bail, and thinking, "Ah... May 2003 will be my turn!" Back in August 1999 it seemed soooooo far away! Dropped my bags and boxes of shit onto my new dorm floor (Lake Hall building, room 285, bedroom B!) and meeting my roommates, one who would remain a roommate up to now. DAMN that was so long ago! I had brown hair and no bangs... I actually STUDIED and worked hard my freshman year. No roadtrips, hardly any concerts. A paranoid newbie, I threw myself into school work and pulled off a 3.7 GPA. Then of course rolls around sophomore year and things, eh, changed. I think I'm at a 2.9 right now... actually, it's 4/24 right now and I'm not even sure if I'm gonna graduate. That all depends on if I pass my research methods class. GRRRRR... Grad-yoo-muh-kay-shun also means a REAL new way of life... the past 17 years have been full of school; tests, books, research papers, lunch with friends, passing notes, sleeping in class, skipping class, etc... I've never known anything else except 2 1/2 months of freedom in the summertime but in the past 5 years those "freedom" summers meant working 2-3 jobs to ensure I could return to school again in the fall. Not that I'm about to have a break THIS summer, but I gotta go find a job and realize that I'm NOT going back. Tomorrow afternoon I'm gonna walk out of the last classroom till God knows when. I am going back to school for massage therapy but it won't be a college or any other kinda school I'm used to. For the summer I'll work 1 or 2 jobs, doing whatever, just to get that money for school... still wondering if I should aim for something criminal justice related. Ehhhh... if no one's hiring (which is definitely the case as of recent months!) then I'll do whatever. At work last nite I realized something else awful. I love this place (UCF Library), I've worked there for 3 1/2 years and it's going to be real weird to suddenly not work there anymore. They've been so cool to me when it comes to roadtrips/vacations and shit. They even let me take on a schedule where I only worked Tues/Weds/Thurs so I could have 4-day weekends for roadtrips. (Of course, how useful was that this semester?!!?! Bah...) I left last nite and said goodbye to someone I've worked with a few years, both of us realizing that we might never see each other again. Very weird feeling... what do you say to these friends/co-workers who you probably WON'T see again? It's just a regular "goodbye" with a hint of sadness to it. "Wow... I'm not gonna see you again... goodbye! Uh, have a nice life!" Sheeeessh. And the regular friends who are usually within reach here in Orlando cause we'd run into each other on campus all the time. Now there will be alot of miles to go before I'll see them again. I'm not worried about that tho cause I've managed to keep ties with friends who are in Tampa/St.Pete even when I was in Orlando... but within a year or so (hopefully! Let's see how long the massage theraphy schooling is!) I'll be working full time, ready to get used to the next 50 some-odd years of my life. Ugh!! Then I gotta find ways to still live it up and not get bored, find ways to make roadtrips and concerts happen! Filling out the graduation announcements was a real kicker in telling me that this is really it. I'm DONE!!! No more research papers!!! While those thoughts definitely fill me with extreme joy cause I hate schoolwork and classes, I'm going to miss UCF. I'll miss the student union and how the tables outside Baja Burrito was our meeting place sophomore year. Or the cheesy fountain that became our meeting spot this year. The bible thumper ground where we killed many hours hooting at the religious fanatics who spouted off insults at us. The Lake Claire Courtyard area where I lived 2 years on campus, rolling outta bed 5 minutes before class and not having to worry about finding a parking place. Walking around campus in the middle of the nite listening to music, enjoying the peace. The trees outside the VAB and Union that were later bulldozed down. The spot behind the Union but in front of the CL1 building where I made many phone calls... the Knightcast room where I spent hours on the air, blasting tunes for the campus station... I'm even going to miss the parking garage I always parked in... I don't think I'll miss waiting in line in the financial aid office, fuck that. Or going to the doctor's office. The Wendy's on campus, AHHHH!!!! We spent countless lunch hours there, laughing at the guy with weird eyes or making fun of the bitch shift manager who was always such a wench to us. Outside of school, damn there's alot of shit about Orlando I'll miss! The toll roads, running the E-pass lanes, the bump in the road on E. Colonial at the intersection of Mills Ave... downtown Orlando! International drive... "tourist hell", the Taco Bells that were nearby, the malls, even I-4. Maybe. Not only do I hafta leave UCF but I'm bailing on Orlando as well and that sucks... I really love this place. I know it better than New Port Nowhere, how sad is that? And I'm about to go back... yep, moving in with Dad for awhile until I can get some money together and be on my own. Whew there really isn't alot of purpose to this rambling, I'm just weirded-out by the whole "graduating" thing... alot of shit is gonna change. :( I just hope that I can still take roadtrips and go to alot of concerts!!! Leave it to me to let that be my biggest worry. Second biggest worry, ugh, gotta pass this biology final tomorrow and pack tonite for CA... damn I'm such a slacker. Haven't finished that yet... ohhh I never did rent out my apartment so I gotta pay for the damn thing all summer. Oh well, if I'm ever in Orlando I guess I got a place to crash! Now I gotta work extra hard over the summer to make up that payment every month tho.... grrrrr. Anyway... not much else! Maybe I'll add more later... HOME!!!! |