slr_europa@yahoo.com http://www.geocities.com/slr_europa/ AIM :: ropachan ************************************************* Need Me Epilogue by Sailor Europa "Ooooooh, Usagi, you look wonderful!" "Are you kidding? She's huge!" I shook my head as the lithe blonde juggled a very gentle hug along with an enormous and garishly wrapped present in her arms. She gave the priestess her best raspberry before handing the gift off to Ami who set it amidst scads of others next to the couch. "Besides, Usagi is only four months along. That's hardly 'huge'." Minako stated haughtily before perching herself daintily next to Rei on the loveseat. The latter poked the former in the ribs and chuckled until she gave in and hugged her tightly. "Glad you could come, Rei-chan." Minako giggled. Rei groaned. "Good Lord, Minako, how old are you? Do they let you talk so childishly on the air, too?" "What? You mean you don't watch me?" "I have better things to do with my time. I see you far too much as it is." "Not anymore, you don't!" "I had to cut back. Too much saccharine is bad for you." "Rei-chan! Geez, how have you kept the temple running? Aren't you religious people supposed to be gentle and kind?" I shook my head good-naturedly and waddled my way back to the intimate party that had been thrown. I grinned. And it was all for me. "You'd think those two would have grown up since high school." Makoto said, giving me a wry grin as she tossed her head in the direction of the bickering duo still at it on the sofa. I smiled. "I'm glad they haven't. Doesn't make me feel quite so bad." I giggled. "Although I guess I'm going to have to make the leap to 'adult' here soon, aren't I?" I added, rubbing my expanding belly affectionately. "Nah. It's all an act. I still get the urge to over-eat on ice cream and throw tantrums when I don't get my way. I just know it's wrong, so I throw them in private." She chuckled. "Of course, Satchiko hasn't really caught on, but once she realizes that I'm the parent…." She rolled her eyes. "Ho boy. I'm really gonna have to get my act together." "You're a great mom. You've been making the best boxed lunches since Junior High, after all. You're a natural." Mako smiled. "So have you two begun getting ready for your little bundle of joy?" "As much as we can, I guess. I'm still a little lost, though." "Not sure where to put the crib?" "Well, we don't have a lot of room in a one-bedroom apartment. I think we may be leaving there pretty soon, to be honest." Mako looked shocked. "Really? Wow. I didn't expect that. I mean, Mamoru-san's been there a long time…." I nodded, pausing thoughtfully before I replied. "I know, but we both think it's best. We need something that's 'ours', you know? That was his bachelor pad before I came along." Makoto winked playfully. "Don't want him to start thinking about his wild and solitary days and nights that he spent before you came along, eh?" "No, I don't even think he had any of those. His wild nights were always at the office." I replied. "I guess that will have to stop now, won't it? I wonder if he'll miss it." I didn't say anything but a muffled 'hmm' in reply, contemplating the past 6 months before we found ourselves expectant parents. ***** 5 MONTHS PRIOR ***** "Usako?" I heard through the thin apartment walls. I smiled, throwing a careless glance at the cheap clock on the wall. 5:30. Right on time. "In here." I said loudly, tossing my magazine into the rack next to the easy chair I was sitting in. Dinner was on its way – after I burned my own attempt at making it – from the deli down the street. 'I give it 15 minutes' I thought, giving myself a sly smile. 'Just enough time for an appetizer….' "Hey there…." I cooed as he burst through the doorway, already pulling his silk necktie loose. He lowered his eyes to me as he wrapped those long arms around my waist, pulling me close, burying his face in my hair. "Mmmm…. Missed you." He whispered through the strands. He rocked me back and forth, running his hands along my hips and back. I sighed contentedly, closing my eyes. "Me too." I murmured just before he pressed his lips to my own nano-seconds later. After a minute or two of a breathless, hungry embrace, he relented, pressing tiny little kisses around my jaw line until he found my ear. I giggled, involuntarily shuddering, throwing him off. He pulled away to look at me, hands still grasping possessively. "So what'd you do today? I smelled smoke, so I'm assuming the Chinese delivery boy will be here soon…." He said and I pouted. "I'm trying here, alright? Get off my back." "I know, baby, and I couldn't be more proud." He said, pulling me closer. I beamed. "I don't think I could be hungrier either." "Jerk." I said through a tight, reluctant smile. "And you're wrong." I stated. "Really?" He perked up, shocked. "Yes. We're having sandwiches. Not Chinese." "Ah." He said, giving a small laugh. ****** ****** "Usagi!" I was jolted out of my memories by an indignant Minako, holding a tiny bell necklace clenched in her little fist, while Rei rolled her eyes from behind her. "Will you please tell Ms. High and Mighty Priestess that she has to put this on?" "Why in God's name would I 'have' to do anything? Why are we playing a stupid American game, anyway?" Rei huffed, garnering a scowl from the blonde in front of her, which she readily returned. "Because it's FUN!" "Since when?" "Oh, come on, Rei! Everyone else is playing!" "Well, you've already said her name a million times, so you shouldn't even be WEARING yours." "Fine. Since you caught me, you can have mine." Minako pouted, pulling the string with her own bell from around her neck. She held it out momentarily for the other girl to take before jerking it away suddenly. "BUT… only if you put your own on, too." "Oh fine, if it means you'll leave me the hell alone, I will." Minako cheerfully finished the transaction while Makoto sidled up next to the bickering duo. "What's this all about, anyway?" "A baby game!" "Yippee." "Shut up, Rei!" She threw another scowl over her shoulder before handing another necklace to Makoto. "First, you put this on, and then, for the rest of the party, you're not allowed to say Usagi or Chibi Usa's name, you must only refer to them as "mommy" or "baby". If you are caught saying either one, you lose your necklace. Whoever has the most at the end of the party, wins!" Makoto shrugged and wrapped the tiny piece of string around her neck before taking a seat on the floor. Attempting to avoid the antics of Rei and Minako, I waddled my way to the couch and sat beside her. "So where is Satchiko today, anyway?" "With her grandmother and Tsukasa. I figured since his family lives in Gifu, it'd be nice if they got to spend some time with her while we're here." She sighed wearily and smiled. "It'll also be nice to have a free afternoon." "Exhausted, ne?" "More so than I ever thought possible." She chuckled and shook her head. "I thought it would take forever to lose all that pregnancy fat, but let me tell you, I hardly have a minute to eat during the day with her around. I'm up 20 hours out of the day and even the other four are not consecutive. I'm lucky if I sleep a full hour, straight through." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "We're staying at his parents house, and his mother was so adamant about doing the "midnight runs" when she wakes up during the night that she told us not to worry about a thing. If she cried, Grammy would take care of it. At first I was hesitant about anyone else doing my job as a mother, but let me tell you, after the third hour of rest, I was gone. A typhoon couldn't have woken me up." "You certainly are not putting me at ease, Mako." She laughed. "Oh, don't worry. It's more work than anyone is ever used to, but you don't even think about it. That tiny little bundle of pudgy fat and peach fuzz is all you'll even consider when it comes." I was thoughtful for a moment. "Mako, how did you know you were ready? I mean, you and Tsukasa?" "Hm." She said, staring intently ahead of her and chewing on her lip and the question simultaneously. "You know, I'm not sure we really did know. I mean, we weren't like a lot of other couples that discuss it and plan for it. We'd been together for a while and it just kinda happened, and then we just knew." She hesitated. "Of course, by then we had to be ready, anyway. I mean, it's not like you can change your mind once it's started." She stopped. "Are you questioning yourself, Usagi?" I was reluctant to divulge too much, so I tempered my words carefully. "No, not really, I guess. I mean, I think some questioning is natural, isn't it?" Makoto nodded assuredly, so I continued. "I guess, I'm just wondering if Mamoru and I are ready to, you know, become a family." I looked down at my brunette friend, a little scared, as I plodded on. "How were things between you and Tsukasa when you found out? Did it change your marriage?" "Oh, of course. It sort of cemented our commitment. We were already decided that this union was for the long haul, but now we were bringing a third party into it. We had to be 200% there for each other and for the inevitable child." She paused and then started up again. "Things are never perfect, and our marriage wasn't an exception. We had our moments, and there were certainly times I had fleeting thoughts of doubt." Makoto abruptly became silent and glanced down at her lap. "I even once considered leaving him." "What?" She blushed, obviously a little humiliated at the memory. "Yeah, I know, that's how I feel about it now, too. I thought he was having an affair. His secretary was calling all the time and I just lost it after the third or fourth month. I slept on the couch for almost three weeks before we really sat down and talked about it." "Wow, Mako, I had no idea." "No one did, really. It was a sore spot for almost a year. We patched things up, obviously, but it was a long road to travel. For some reason, the repair work took longer than the damage did. It wasn't until we were positive about the pregnancy that things became rock solid again." She thought about her last words and then amended them. "Not that we intentionally had Satchiko for that reason, quite the opposite. Her appearance was unexpected, but it woke us both up. A marriage is one thing, but a family, in some ways, is much different. A divorce would have been an easy out for only two people, but when a third enters in, they are nothing more than an innocent bystander who gets hurt in the end. We knew we had to make it work, no matter what." She gave me a broad grin. "I guess it's a good thing we're so crazy in love with each other, ne? That makes it a heck of a lot easier." "I guess so." ***** 6 MONTHS PRIOR ***** "Well?" I inhaled sharply, staring down at my fingers as they chipped away at the pink polish on my nails. Tension hung over the air for minutes on end and I knew he was waiting for an answer. "Mamoru, you know this isn't easy. For me as much as you." He let out a loud breath and leaned back in his chair. We were facing each other in the second hand dining set that was barely a foot from the kitchen counter. It was what could be dubbed "The Morning After". We'd spent the night in between bouts of exhausted sleep that followed frantic lovemaking, and neither of us knew how to begin the discussion that was inevitably to take place. "I know, but I need to know where you are when it comes to this marriage. We have to talk about this, Usagi. And we need to do it now, before anymore time passes." "I know. I guess I just…." I held my breath, looking for the right words. "I just don't know where to begin." "Why don't you just tell me what it is that you feel needs to change?" He started. "After all, you're the one who asked for the divorce. You must have a better grasp on the problems." "That sounds kind of like a dig, Mamoru. Are you honestly going to tell me that even after I left you didn't understand why it was I felt the way I felt?" I said, suddenly getting indignant. His shoulders bristled and he immediately went on the defensive. "Now hold on, Usagi. That's not what I was getting at, at all!" He clenched his jaw as he folded his arms tightly in front of his chest. "And don't pull any of that 'if you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you' crap, either!" "Well, I think you should know!" "That's completely ludicrous, Usagi!" His voice rose higher with each word and he suddenly leaned forward, his face scrunching up in frustrated anger. "How can you possibly expect to save this marriage when you won't even tell me what the hell is wrong with it?" "And how can you possibly be so oblivious to the gaping hole that IS this marriage?" I shot back, just as frustrated. My eyes lowered as he stared at me. I fell back into my chair and looked away. 'How can he be so incredibly stupid?' It was silent for moments on end, and I could tell the accusations were rolling over in our heads incessantly, because both our expressions softened as time wore on. We were both a little ashamed of ourselves, but it was Mamoru who spoke first. "Usagi, this is not getting us anywhere." His voice was broken. "Please… just talk to me. Tell me what you're feeling." I sighed, feeling my chest tighten. I could feel my breathing get shorter and shorter. I knew he was right. I couldn't be pig-headed about this. This wasn't about who was right or wrong and I couldn't go on keeping score. The only thing that mattered was that we were both at fault in one way or another. ***** ***** "OK, so we've played your stupid games, Minako." Rei barked out, causing her opponent to get indignant and defensive as she put her hands on her hips. "How about we let Usagi open her gifts?" The blonde chewed on the thought a little before agreeing. My smiled widened. This was my favorite part. "Yay! Bring on my horde!" I cheered. ***** "Thanks for coming, Naru." The redhead smiled back at me, clutching a small purse and her jacket. "Of course, Usagi-chan! I wouldn't have missed it." "I'm glad things are going well for you. I've really missed seeing you around." "Change is hard, isn't it?" She mused passively. "I mean, who'd have guessed we'd be so far from each other after being so close for all those years?" "Yeah. I promise to try to keep in touch better." I blushed, feeling a little shy. It was as if I was making a new friend all over again. She grinned back widely. "Aw, that wasn't your fault." She waved me dismissively as she opened the door. "You'll have to come visit us in Osaka, though." "We'd love that." I smiled. With another parting embrace, we both say goodbye and I shut the door on the last guest. "Whew!" I exhaled, leaning against the large pane of stained glass on the ornate front door. "I'm glad we had this here, Ami. I don't think my little apartment could have handled all that." The good doctor surveyed the damage with a skeptical eye and shook her head. "I don't think my place did, either." "Who'd have thought women could be so wild during these things?" "I think the key ingredient was Minako." Makoto said, plopping down on the white couch with a piece of cake on a tiny pink 'It's A Girl!' paper plate. "That woman has endless amounts of energy." "I always assumed she would grow out of it." Ami sighed wearily. "Maybe when she's retired?" "Nah. Minako's gonna be the grandma who takes her grandchildren to their first bar and teaches them what 'body shots' are." Rei snorted as she and the blonde in question entered from the kitchen after grabbing large trash bags. She poked Minako in the side and she slapped her hand away. "And so what?" She huffed indignantly, tossing plastic cups and disposable plates into the army green plastic bag Rei was holding. "You all are no fun by yourselves, anyway. I'm only here to spice up your boring little lives." She punctuated her thought by pointing a used cup at each one of us before chucking it too into the trash for emphasis. "Usagi doesn't need your kind of 'fun' now, Minako." Rei retorted. "She can barely walk anymore." "Hey!" I laughed from my perch on the carpeted steps that lead to the hallway. "You're lucky I'm practically immobile, or else you'd pay for that." "And it only gets worse." Makoto chimed in, pouring herself a glass of wine from the left over bottle on the coffee table. "Great." ***** 3 & 1/2 MONTHS PRIOR ***** "Well?" I smiled at my husband, peering anxiously, hands clasped in his lap to keep from fidgeting. "It'll take a few minutes, baby." "Oh." "You ready for this?" I asked, standing beside him and pulling his head to my chest so I could stroke his head. He was still and I imagined his eyes open wide and unblinking. The image gave me a lopsided grin. "Do I have a choice? I mean, either you are or you aren't, right?" "True. But it'd be nice to know you're ready to be in it, 150%." "I am." He said steadily before ducking his head. "I think." I laughed. "Poor thing. You're more worried than I am. You do realize I'm gonna be the one doing most of the work, right?" He looked up, some of the tension gone as he gave me a wry look. "And thank heavens for that. God was smart enough to realize who the stronger of the sexes are." "Wait a second, did I just hear the great Tuxedo Kamen, my own Knight In Shining Armor admit that he was weaker than a GIRL?" I feigned shock and pulled back, eyes wide. "Get me smelling salts, I think I might faint." "When it comes to bravery in the face of the enemy, I can stand with the best of them. But call me a baby if you want, unnecessary pain is not something I would willingly take on." "Well, I guess that's the difference. I think it's very necessary." "Not when there's adoption." "What?" I slapped him playfully before throwing my hands on my hips. "Are you actually saying, in order to avoid a few measly hours of pain, you'd give up the idea of carrying your own child?" I shook my head, amazed at the depths my husband had managed to take his wussiness to. "I mean, adoption is a fine thing and it certainly helps a lot of people, but I can't even bear the thought of not feeling that tiny little life grow inside me." I wrapped my arms around myself, simply relishing the idea. "It's such an awesome thing…" "You're so cute, Usako. I'm glad you're stronger than I am, because I kind of like the idea of a mixture of the two of us growing inside that little tummy of yours." He leaned in and kissed my stomach then laid his head against it. "And to think, it could be in there right now." I nodded, rubbing his head again. "I know." I leaned down to kiss him full on the lips and just as I found myself getting lost in the sweet moment, we were both startled by the egg timer giving a polite 'ding!' to announce that 15 minutes had passed. We looked at each other and inhaled at the same time. This was it: The moment of truth. ***** ***** "Thanks, Ami, for letting us take over your house for the afternoon." The petite woman sitting next to me waved my gratitude away easily. Stretching, she yawned before replying flippantly. "Oh Usagi, please. My home is yours. It's always been open for you." "Yeah, but giving me a room is different than letting 2 dozen loud, gossipy, drunken women invade with tissue paper and pink balloons." I said with a raised eyebrow. She just laughed. "True. But I enjoyed it." She surveyed the damage as Minako and Rei (now blissfully quiet after having worn each other out) finished picking up random paper products and stray wrapping and ribbons. "Of course, it's easier to do that while watching someone else clean up the mess." She gave me a mischievous wink before sighing. "Besides, I felt like I should do something to show you how happy I am for you and Mamoru-san. I'm just glad that the afternoon here has been under more pleasant circumstances than the last time." I nodded in agreement. "Me too." "And I mean that, too, Usagi. I couldn't be happier for the way things have turned out. I certainly did my fair share of praying for you." "Mmm. And I really appreciate that, Ami. You were a huge comfort to me during that whole time." I gave her a broad smile as my eyes watered at the simple memory of that first night in her kitchen where I broke down for the first time. "I don't know what I would have done without you." "You would have worked things out with Mamoru-san, Usagi. I have faith in the future for you two, and I always have. My prayers were that the two of you would find that same faith." ***** 6 MONTHS PRIOR ***** The silence was deafening, with only the small tick of the second hand of the clock above the television set making noise. Mamoru poked at the dig in the plywood surface of the table and I chewed my bottom lip until I felt it bleed. This was getting us nowhere. "Mamoru, do you really think that our marriage was fine the way it was?" I inquired, my voice barely above a whisper. He looked up at me, shocked and quite puzzled. He blinked several times before shrugging and shaking his head, obviously thinking quite seriously about it. "Well, no." He paused before backtracking. "I mean, I wasn't really considering anything anywhere near a divorce, but no marriage is perfect, right?" He looked away, and I thought that was odd as our eye contact was severed while he spoke. "I was away a lot, but…." "Yes, you were." "Is that what this was all about, Usagi? My job?" His voice started to rise again and I could see the anger and defenses rise together. "Because you knew that when you agreed to marry me…" "Mamoru, stop it! This isn't about the work!" I shouted, holding my hands up in frustration. I put them down immediately, almost afraid I would reach out and strangle him, although I doubted that would make any difference. He had to want to understand. Violence wouldn't do anything, even if it was rather tempting at certain points. I took a deep breath, collecting my composure before going on. "Do you know how it felt to spend each day alone, cleaning, attempting to cook, do laundry, grocery shop…." I ticked the list off of my fingers. "Only to go to bed alone and try to fall asleep? Mamoru, I never slept a wink until you were beside me. But you inevitably would get up before the sun rose and the cycle would continue on the next day." I threw my hands up in the air. "Even your weekends were spent at that damned office!" "Usagi, my work is very involved. You knew that getting into this marriage. Are you saying that I have to choose between the two? Because I think that is highly unfair." "No!" I frowned openly. This wasn't working. Was it possible that he still didn't grasp just how little of a marriage we'd had for the year preceding this? He had been so despondent at the hospital and that night when he came home. What happened? "Mamoru, things were different a year ago. You were still dedicated to your work, but you were also dedicated to this marriage! It hasn't been that way in a long time, and I was beginning to doubt that your top priority was being a husband." I said. "How could you doubt me, Usagi? I've spent two lifetimes loving you…" His eyes were watering and it hurt me to see the pain that my words caused him. But nevertheless, he had to hear it. He had to know what his absence had done to my belief in him. "That night I went with Ami…. I stayed over there after drinking a bit too much with her and Minako." I started, wondering if he would see where I was going. He looked puzzled. "I don't remember that, but either way, I don't see what that has to do…" He started but I interrupted. "I came home the next morning and found everything still in order. Even the lamp above your desk was lit, just like you usually leave it when you run to the office in the middle of the night." My bottom lip quivered at the memory of that moment when the realization hit me. "Mamoru, you hadn't been home all night. You stayed in that stupid office the whole night and didn't even bother to call me." He was silent, and although I didn't see much remorse, I took gratification from knowing that I had struck him speechless. Mamoru seemed to piece some information together and his eyebrows twitched with the brain waves. I sniffled, wiping my eyes with the sleeves of my sweater, wondering if he would try to reason it away. I wouldn't let him if he did, I decided. "That's when you wrote the letter." He stated simply. I nodded, not sure if he could even see me with his head ducked down like that. "I didn't even plan on going home that day, either." "What?" I asked, practically seething. "I'd gotten a message on my cell phone telling me to check home, though." "What are you talking about?" "Someone called me; a woman. A woman called me and left a message telling me I needed to check in at home." He shook his head, almost laughing as he closed his eyes. "That was the same day I had lunch with Ayashi-san." "Ayashi-san? You mean…?" "Ayashi Touya, your attorney." He gave me a pathetic smile before looking back downwards again. "I guess you didn't remember my old college roommate when you filled out the paperwork." "I had no idea." I narrowed my eyes. "He told you?" "He thought I should know, seeing as how we used to be so close." "It must have been the same day, because when I went home, sure enough, you were gone. It wasn't until that night though that I found your note." He nodded slowly, thinking back on the details. I blinked, taking it all in. "So…" I began, wondering what prompted this sharing of information from him. "I can't even believe that so many other people knew about my marital problems before I did." He laughed angrily. "My college roommate, for God's sakes!" "Mamoru…." "Am I really that blind?" He asked rhetorically, his voice serious enough to make me wonder if he really thought that might be part of the problem. "I mean, I knew I was throwing myself into cases full force…." He looked straight ahead, past me and towards the picture window to the north. "The look on Touya's face when he told me… so full of pity. "You know, I always knew I didn't spend enough time with you, or at home even. But I think I really believed that after just one more case… after just one more, it would all change. I would be satisfied. "I'm so, so sorry, if only because my actions caused you to doubt me. And I don't blame you one bit. I let you down." He was silent for almost a full minute, his eyes tightly shut, fists clenched on the table in front of me. "I don't know what to do." "Mamoru?" His eyes glanced up and when he caught my frightened expression, he pursed his lips and shook his head. "I let you down, Usako. But I don't know what to do. I've never loved anyone or anything more than you, but I've always been like this, and I don't know how to stop putting my male pride below anything else." I couldn't bring myself to hold him like I might have at another time, but I reached across the table and covered his white knuckles with my own. I didn't know what he was thinking or going through, because this was not a problem I'd ever had. Nothing had ever come before my relationships and nothing ever would. "I'm sorry I didn't bring this to you sooner. I'm sorry I let it get to the point where I had to file for divorce before we talked about it." I said simply and I realized this was the first time I'd really taken ownership of part of the problem. I'd been placing all the blame on his shoulders, but as I watched him struggle to grasp how much he'd hurt me, I had to admit that I'd hurt him just as much by being silent. I'd let him believe that I was OK with how things were between us. I'd brought the issue up once or twice and I had reached out to him, but never had I attempted to explain my feelings or my reasons. My need should have been enough for him, in my mind, and he should have known inherently what a wife needed. "I don't want things to stay like this, Usagi. I don't want to push you farther away and I want to get past this." His eyes met my own and he inhaled steadily, confident in what he was saying now. "I love you too much to let you leave." "I love you, too. And I'll do anything to rise above this past year." "I swear, I meant every word of those wedding vows, and I want to make good on the promises I've made you." I choked on a rising sob and I laughed as tears spilled down again. "I know, Mamo-chan. Me too." "This doesn't make up for my mistakes, though. But if you'll let me keep trying, I promise I'll do everything I can to try to make up for it. I never want you to regret saying 'I do'." "Oh, God, Mamoru." I said, my heart fluttering painfully. I grabbed his face between my hands and kissed the tears that had begun to fall away. "I would never… I couldn't…." I started before losing my voice. Taking a shaky breath I tried again. "I will never, ever regret marrying you." I smiled through all the pain, for once feeling the tiniest sliver of hope shine through all the clouds in my soul. "You're my soul mate." ***** ***** "So what was Mamoru-san doing while we pampered his wife all day?" Makoto asked after things had settled down and the room looked somewhat normal. The five of us were resting peacefully with wine and tea, a little weary after all the excitement. "I honestly have no idea." I laughed. "I think he was a little miffed that he couldn't come. He kept talking about how the baby was 'half his anyway'." "I doubt he would have enjoyed himself. Men have no idea how powerful so much estrogen gathered in one room can be." Mako shook her head wryly. "It's even too much for me sometimes." "Well, estrogen overload or not, it was wonderful." I sighed, patting my tummy softly. "And I know Chibi-Usa will appreciate it, too." A smile too great to hide accompanied a few stray tears that could probably be attributed as much to hormones as to genuine emotion. "It's been great to spend time with all of you today. I missed you so much." "Aaaaaw, Usagi-chan!" Minako squealed, jumping next to me on the couch and wrapping her firm arms around me. "It's all part of the job! You're our princess. We'd do anything for you!" I laughed. I hadn't been referred to as royalty since my ill-fated lunch with Setsuna. "Hey, where was Setsuna today, anyway?" I said suddenly, breaking up the estrogen-fest I'd started. "That's a good question. You think maybe she couldn't get away from the Gates?" Rei offered looking around, shrugging. "Pffft. She could have taken one day off." Minako said, getting indignant. I grew sad for a moment, wishing I had gotten the chance to apologize to her. She had hit the nail on the head when she said I hadn't tried hard enough. Even though I don't always agree with her meddling just because she's the Keeper of Time, I had been rash and irritable and took out a lot of anger on her. And in reality, she'd really been trying to help me. It might have been partially out of selfish motives, she'd done what she thought best. ***** 5 & ¾ MONTHS PRIOR ***** "Hey Mamoru, I was thinking last night…." I said, standing before the toaster as I waited for my burnt bread to pop up. "Hm?" He said, his head poking in the refrigerator, a boxer-clad behind sticking out from the door. "You said someone called and left a message on your phone that day you found my note?" "Yeah?" He answered, coming out from behind the door with a carton of milk. I whacked his side as he began to pull the cardboard spout out, fully intent on taking a swig straight from the container. Pausing to hand him a glass and a scowl, I leaned against the counter while he poured the liquid. "Did you ever find out who it was?" He was thoughtful at my query, but shook his head a moment later after taking a sip. "No, although at first I assumed it was you. But when I saw your note, I ruled that out. I guess it never really occurred to me after that." "Huh. That's really weird." "Yeah, I guess." He leaned down to kiss my forehead before he stopped and put his glass abruptly down with a clang. "It sounded familiar, too." "Really?" I asked, my curiosity increasing. "Yeah." He paused, only to nod a moment later, snapping his fingers as if a light bulb had just gone on in his head. "In fact, I got another weird call from someone that morning when I came home from the hospital." He cocked his head to the side. "I'll bet it was the same person." "What'd that one say?" "Just told me I had something waiting for me outside." He gave me a broad grin. "It was right before I walked out the door and found you collapsed in the hallway." "What? Are you serious?" I asked, totally unbelieving. "Totally." "Wow." I said, shaking my head. "Maybe we have a guardian angel." ***** ***** 'Setsuna, you meddling little…' I smirked, shaking my head. I had been so angry with her and I had to feel a tad guilty now. 'You seem to know everything that goes on, so I hope you know that I caught on to your little game.' I grew serious before adding, 'Thank you for caring'. "Well, Usagi, you've got a basinet, a Diaper Genie, a stroller for walking, a stroller for running, a rocking chair, 4 diaper bags, enough clothes to last you until she's 16, 92 pairs of socks, a gift certificate for Gerber, a high chair…." Rei ticked off items from her fingers and I surveyed my haul that sat by the door, awaiting my shocked husband to lug it all to our SUV. I grinned. "Thinks that's enough?" "Not unless she pops out with an instruction manual, because I didn't see one of those in any of the boxes." I groaned. "I thought a baby was going to be complicated enough – now I had to learn how to use that stupid Diaper Genie, too?" "Oh, you'll do fine. Just remember, you're the adult in the family. So no raspberry-wars, OK?" Mako said in mock seriousness. I laughed. "Well, I still have a good five months, don't I? That's more than enough time to grow up." "Good heavens, five months." Ami said suddenly, looking at my wide belly as if she was noticing it for the first time. "How time flies…." "You ready, Odango Atama?" Rei smirked. I winked at Mako before sticking my tongue merrily at her. "I'm ready for anything." ***** 3 & ½ MONTHS PRIOR ***** I swallowed a massive lump in my throat while Mamoru sat, perched precariously on the edge of our queen bed, his hands clasped so tightly together his knuckles had turned white. Calmly, I reached for the little stick sitting on top of our sink, next to his blue Oral B toothbrush, and my pink children's one with bunnies etched on the bottom. I picked up the box, and compared the lines on the one to the other. The second hand of the clock next to the dresser was all I could hear until my husband piped up, unable to contain himself. "Well?" I turned my head slightly to face him, savoring his anxiety sadistically until I couldn't contain the smile that itched to spread from ear to ear. "We're pregnant." ****************************************************** slr_europa@yahoo.com http://www.geocities.com/slr_europa/ AIM :: ropachan