This is as far as I've gotten. I think I've wrung my brain dry. I need to wait for another brain storm (HA! Pun INTENDED!) so I can soak up the water of creativity like the little sponge I am. I want more pain and heartache, but even I need a little lovin' every once in a while. Anywho, we'll just have to see. If you have any ideas, I honestly am all ears. Literally. (Just kidding...Or am I?....) Please e-mail me if you get the urge! I love mail! Except spam. Unless it's with ketchup on a sesame seed bun. Mmm...sesame seed bun......auuuugh..... DISCLAIMER :: Down with oppression! FREE SAILOR MOON! I don't want to live in a world where Japanese super heros are owned by faceless, uncaring corporations.... Why I dream of a planet where 2-d and 3-d people can live togeth.... (it just becomes unintelligible from here, folks....) slr_europa@yahoo.com http://www.geocities.com/sailorananke/ AIM :: SeeShelliRun *************************************** Need Me – Chapter 6 By Sailor Europa I heard that name all night in my sleep a few hours later. It had been with a forced greeting that I bolted down the hallway, away from my husband, and retreated into the safety of a (thankfully) waiting elevator. But the one word we shared haunted me and it didn't escape my notice that it hadn't been "Usagi" or even "Usa-chan". He had called me Usako. At that precise moment, I wanted to dive into the doorway and yank those papers from the floor that I dropped them on. I didn't feel a twinge of regret; it was more like a dull ache. I don't think regret or guilt would have even registered in my mind. I had buried all that so deep with pain and numbness that I convinced myself that I would let those emotions surface after it was finalized. Once I couldn't second-guess myself I assumed it would come naturally. But I couldn't afford to backtrack and rethink certain matters. No, if I let my heart speak out I would never get anywhere. But the elevator doors slid shut with a short and tempered thud, and it was impossible not to let the regret approach the doors of my mind. He had called me Usako. It was stupid, I tried to reason. That shouldn't make me lament over something irretrievable. There was a time, after all, when he would have called me that unconsciously. I could be letting a simple slip of the tongue wash away something that I had thought long and hard about. Something that kept me up at night; something that cost more money and emotion than I cared to consider. I didn't want to contemplate the repercussions that could hit if that were wrong. This train was already going full-speed; it would take a hell of a lot more than a single word to stop it at this point. I leaned wearily against the mirrored walls of the elevator and closed my eyes. Even a few moments later, I was already wondering what outcome would have played out had I listened to what my emotions were telling me. I knew I wanted to stay; I wasn't denying the fact that I still desperately clung to some hope of saving my marriage. But I had to tear my heart from that idea; it couldn't take the rejection that fit the obvious patterns from previous encounters. That was what the divorce was all about. I had put up with it for too long, and all the pain was no longer worth it. My needs weren't being met, and I was exhausted after thinking that sooner or later, he would fit me into his busy schedule. He didn't even show any signs of interest in affection or of even fondness. I knew it was clichéd, but I felt invisible prior to my decision. My confidence was shattered and I felt beaten and bruised and scarred beyond recognition. I didn't recall who I was, let alone who he was. I only knew that the people that had been living together the past few months were not the two who had been married two years ago. They simply couldn't be. Ami had been at the hospital all day when I got back to Gifu, so I just quietly retreated to my room, worn out. Perhaps all the restless nights in that bed had caught up with me, because despite it being late afternoon, I was soon sleeping deeper than I had in weeks. ***** I had been passed out for almost 12 full hours when I was finally awoken by a few birds singing merrily outside my open window. Ami kept fresh foliage and greenery among her grounds, and I hadn't yet noticed how much existed until I was assaulted by its rustling from the gentle breeze. I cast a bleary glance at the digital red numbers beside the bed. It was 6:30AM. I had no idea when Ami returned from her shift last night, and knowing I wouldn't be falling back asleep anytime soon, I pulled myself from the bed, yawning midway. I changed though, before heading downstairs, upon realizing I was still in my clothes from the day before, and brushed my teeth and hair. I felt mediocre, considering my situation, but knew that moping under the covers all day would only make it harder to face the world eventually. I found a note once I wandered into the kitchen, telling me she had run her office to pick up some X-Rays and to help myself to any food I could find. I silently declined the offer, thinking I wasn't much for consumption these days. Nothing appealed to me in the least. I was slowly getting thinner, and not in the good way. I wondered, with a half- cocked smile, what I would look like when the court date finally rolled around. That could months away, after all. Maybe I would be dead from starvation. I didn't know what else to do with myself, all alone in a relatively unfamiliar house. I hadn't a clue when she would be back, so I eventually settled in the library, nestled in a leather lounge, reading the words of a book titled "The Lonely Hunter" but not really paying attention to them. My mind eventually drifted to nothing in particular when the phone rang, barely audible all the way to where I was. I didn't feel comfortable enough to answer it, but then I thought it could be Ami checking in. I jumped up and ran for the portable machine in the living room, and got there just in time to catch the familiar answering message pick up. I paused, waiting for the voice on the other end after the beep. If it was Ami, I could always catch it then. "Usagi-san? Usagi-san, I know you're there. Please pick up." "Who…?" "Serenity-sama, it's Setsuna. Please pick up the phone." My heart was pounding. Was I imagining this? What in Gods name was going on? "I can wait as long as you can, and I will continue calling as long as I need to. Just pick up the phone, Your Highness." The voice sounded much more taught after a second, and I knew she was frustrated. But I was shell shocked and in utter disbelief. I hadn't heard from the Senshi of Time in years. "H…hello." I mumbled, hardly believing the world around me, as the phone clicked over from the answering machine once I picked up the receiver. "Ah, Your Highness." Anyone else using the honorific term would have sounded sarcastic, but nothing but sincerity dripped from the tall, dark mysterious senshi's lilted voice. "Setsuna?" "Serenity-sama, I hope you did not think you could keep this from me." "….Excuse me?" The voice sighed. "Usagi," She said in a clipped tone, "We must talk. Meet me at the Bistro two miles west of the Hospital at 12:30." "Ne….Setsuna." "It's OK Usagi, I'm not mad. We just need to talk." I nodded and swallowed, knowing she couldn't see me at that instant, but that somehow, this wise, lonely woman knew what I was going through. ***** I had always felt obscenely inferior and naïve in the older senshi's presence. And today was no different. Despite her loner status and little time spent in any company, she still had a sensual aura that exuded from every pore, some mature quality I never felt adequately matched up against. I never understood her loyalty to me, but I never questioned it either. I guessed it had less to do with an emotional attachment than it did with duty. I never much liked feeling like a baby-sitting charge. The green-haired woman looked elegant yet casual in a deep maroon suit, long locks tied up in a twist towards the back of her head. As I approached the maitre'd, I could see her sitting against the wall near the center of the restaurant. She seemed to gaze absently at the wall on the other side of the room, still managing to look stunning and deep in thought. I wondered if every other woman in the room was as envious as I was at that moment. I had different reasons though. I knew this woman would never have to experience half the things regular females would. She had matchless beauty and an unbreakable heart. Any woman would be jealous of such a gift. As soon as I rounded the corner though, her eyes caught my own and I felt my heart pound. She wore that knowing gaze constantly, and with good reason. No one understood as much as she did, and it was impossible for me to pretend like I could keep up my façade in front of her. I made my way quickly to her table and she set down the tea cup she had been holding and looked at me pointedly. I swallowed hard. "Usagi-san." She greeted cordially, careful not to use her signature term of honor here. I bowed slightly and then seated myself across the table. "Setsuna." I replied. She didn't waste a moment. Perhaps she couldn't, even if she wanted to. "I don't think I need to tell you why I asked you here." She said. I nodded. "I have a pretty good idea, I believe." "Before you ask, no one else knows about this. We both know how I found out, but I didn't think it my place to divulge such personal information. I trust you have a good reason for taking this so far and not telling some of your closest friends." I couldn't think of an adequate reply, so I ducked my head instead. I wasn't sure if she was trying to lead me into confessing that I was taking this path blindly, or if she honestly didn't know. "I just think you need to be aware of the consequences here, Usagi-san." I looked up, and she held my stare. I wasn't sure I understood. "What?" "Surely you realize this is not the future you are already familiar with." She stated, rather than asked. "….What does that have to do with anything?" "Usagi, do you realizing how many lives are deteriorating as we speak? Neo Queen Serenity, King Endymion, Small Lady…." "…I don't understand, Setsuna." "Usagi-san, you think that this is all about you right now! I have to advise you that you haven't considered anyone else involved." "Anyone else?" I sputtered, suddenly enraged. I hadn't known what to expect when coming to this meeting, but being accused of being a futuristic home-wrecker was not something I had even considered. "This is a divorce. There is no one else involved!" "You KNOW who you are and what your destiny is. How can you be so careless about how that gets carried out?" Her voice rose to meet the octave of mine, and she leaned forward. She even appeared slightly flustered; could it be even she wasn't expecting this? "Are you suggesting I continue in a loveless marriage simply because I have to live up to yours and everyone else's expectations?" I awaited the tears to fall, but they didn't. "Usagi," she lowered her tone considerably, "As Sailor Pluto I have an obligation to keep the threads of time running smoothly. You've seen how things are supposed to be carried out. You know about Small Lady and Crystal Tokyo." "Damn it!" I cursed loudly. A few people at neighboring tables looked curiously at the two women already in a heated argument so early on in their meeting. "You are such a hypocrite! Do you care a damn thing about my feelings in this situation? Are you even considering how much it hurts me to be with that man? "I have to deal with my so-called 'destiny' every day! Why do you think I lived in that god-forsaken apartment for so long?" I stared her down, for the moment my intimidation disappearing. "I know about Chibi-Usa, but even if I didn't go through with the divorce, she would still never be conceived!" I lowered my own voice, mostly at my own morality. "I can't even begin to think of making love to Mamoru, let alone bearing his child. I would refuse to bring that little girl into a loveless union." The elder woman paused and collected her bearings. She was obviously taken aback, and I took some pride in knowing I caused it. She sat back and picked up her tea, feeling a bit more confident a moment later. "I have to warn you now, Usagi, that there will come a time when you can't repair the damage done to the threads of time. There will be a point of no return." I'd had it at that point, and with all the fever I could muster I stood up and threw my napkin on the table before me. "I don't give a damn about that! I want my own life back and my own decisions! I will not have you dictating to me!" Her jaw hung open and I stalked off, hot tears finally falling and running my make-up together for the umpteenth time in mere days. "Usagi!" I heard. "Go to hell!" Was all I replied. ***** "Usagi-chan?" I stalked wordlessly down the hall and brushed right past my friend in the hallway. I could hear her immediately turn around and jog in my direction, obviously perplexed. "Usagi-chan, where were you? Did you go into-." "No, I didn't." I cut her off, spinning on my heel to face her. She stopped suddenly, stunned. "I stayed in Gifu, and no, I didn't see him. I was at lunch." I sucked in a breath. "With Setsuna." "N…nani?" She stuttered, her jaw wide. Her eyes glimmered in the dim light of the hall, just as shocked as I had been. "Setsuna?" "Yeah. She's been monitoring me apparently." I said curtly. "I…I guess that makes sense. I mean, she would know what's going on…." "I didn't even consider her knowledge of this." I sighed and hung my head. "Just another roadblock." "Hm? What do you mean?" "I was only there for a good 15 minutes before I left in a huff." I replied. Ami still looked confused. "This is obviously not the path she foresaw and she tried to warn me of the consequences." "Meaning Chibi-Usa." She guessed. I nodded and stared at the wall past her, still boiling with rage. "She's so close to her. Of course she's going to be protective." "Like hell. I don't need her telling me how to live my life." I spat. Ami looked at me curiously. "Ne, Usagi…." She started tentatively, and I knew immediately I wasn't going to like this line of questioning. "Have you given any thought to your future daughter?" I sat stunned, amazed and utterly insulted that everyone seemed to find me so totally self- absorbed that I hadn't even considered the daughter I knew I would have been expecting. "Of course!" I said simply. Ami looked slightly ashamed, and I took a small comfort in that victory. "Gomen. I haven't heard you say anything to that effect…." "Ami, I wouldn't have stayed a second longer with Mamoru if I hadn't been forewarned about my future. I knew what I was destined to be, and by divorcing the man I thought was the father of my child, it would only make that harder. "But I couldn't stay there! Why doesn't anyone understand that regardless of a separation, she wouldn't exist!" I threw my hands in the air, exasperated. "Generally, the parents need to be having sex to have a child!" Ami blushed at my bluntness and I immediately backtracked, regretting my choice of words. "Gomen." I stated quietly and looked down at my feet. "That was uncalled for." "Usagi-chan, don't apologize. I do understand, and I hope you don't think I agree with where Setsuna's coming from." "You don't?" I asked, incredulous. "No!" She laughed and wrapped a free arm around my shoulders. I leaned into her, grateful for the warmth at this time in my life. She sighed and pulled away. "Usagi, I think you may be going about this a little impulsively, and maybe I had my reservations in the beginning…" She paused, and I could tell she was admitting this for the first time to herself as well as me. "But Mamoru-san hasn't tried to contact you once. I don't think he's been acting like a man who feels the need to reconcile with his wife." Despite my obvious agreement, the comment stung, but I tried not to let on. It was one thing to believe something yourself, but to have such a suspicion confirmed hurt like hell. My heart had been hoping she would anticipate some sort of reunion; give me a reason to believe so myself. But now it seemed she was siding with the rational part of my mind and I couldn't deny my disappointment. "I agree." I resigned despondently. The familiar sensation of dampness on my cheeks shook me up and I moaned. I was becoming increasingly emotional, but I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Ami once again enveloped me in a loving embrace, but I pushed her away after a few moments. "I think I need to be by myself right now." I stated, not looking her in the eye. She brushed some hair from my face and retreated without another word. Once again, I was alone. ***** Days passed since Sestuna had contacted me. I tried to pretend that I had dismissed the encounter without another thought, but in truth, it bothered me. A lot. I'd always been envious of the woman; I admired he secretly. It always struck me as odd that she was to protect me. I felt so insignificant next to her. She was worldly and intelligent and visually stunning to look at. And she always exuded that mysterious quality that no one could ever quite put into words. Simply stated, she was a force to be reckoned with. So what made me think I could be the one to reckon with her? Of course, I had to admit she had a point. A small, miniscule one, but a point nonetheless. I had taken up the hobby in the days after the meeting, of wondering what the future was going through right then. Obviously things were in serious jeopardy, or Setsuna wouldn't have thrown caution to the wind and visited me. Things had to be dire in order for her to step down from the Gates like that. Even if it was only for a few hours. Thinking about how I was jeopardizing my future self only served to depress me more. I was becoming more and more sadistic (or would it be masochistic?) thinking about what was going on through the Gates. Was I thinking the same things now? Perhaps I was considering everyone else. After all, there would be a lot more people involved. I wrung my sweaty palms over my face. This was not what I needed to be thinking about. I looked down at my worn-in bunny sweatshirt and exhaled. My hair was in literal knots; I couldn't remember the last time I ran a comb through it with any thought. Going about the little actions was the worst, it seemed. I couldn't even pull my sorry, pathetic body off the couch for long enough to look human; and yet, I was loathing the idea of sitting here any longer in such a self-deprecating state. Just as I stood up, the phone jingled. I shook my skull loose as I peeked at the caller ID. 'The hospital….' "Moshi moshi." I answered. "Usagi, get to the hospital right now. It's an emergency." "N..nani?" I mumbled, my heart jumping into my throat. "What is it?" "I don't have time to explain right now. Please, just….get down here as soon as you can." I could hear her voice constrict. "It's Makoto." "…Oh no." I whispered, tears that had already been in waiting formed around the rims of my eyes. "I'll be there in ten." ***** Ami looked as stunned and frightened as I felt as the sliding doors to the hospital opened. She trotted to my side and grasped my shoulder tightly. I could tell she had been crying; probably just pulled herself together moments before. "I… I was working in the ER when they brought her in." She choked back a sob. "I was already with a patient, so I couldn't… I couldn't find out much." She shook her head. "Something to do with the baby, I think." "Oh no." I covered my mouth with my hand, the tears not letting it deter them as the fell freely. I couldn't even comprehend all the sounds that surrounded me. The beeping and wheels and muted voices; I knew they weren't coming from one place, but to me they were all directed towards Mako-chan. And the clean smell was driving me insane; I hated it the moment it hit my nostrils. "I don't even know who they've called. I rang you as soon as I had a free minute." Ami shook her head, her body shaking with sobs she had withheld; she didn't have the liberty to go hysterical. She had to be strong for her patients. "I don't know how I'm going to make it through my shift." "You're going to be strong, like always." I bit my lip in effort to keep my voice from quivering like it wanted to. "For Mako." With that, Ami broke into fresh sobs, and for the first time in I couldn't remember how long, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders in comfort. I laid my weary head onto her back and just erupted in my own soft cries, sniffling almost in sync. I hadn't thought the situation could get any worse. I hated to think what else Life could smack me with. "She has to be OK…." I mumbled in a half-prayer, then added silently, 'I can't lose one of my best friends and my marriage at the same time. If there is a God, He won't let this happen….' "I have to get back to my rounds." Ami straightened up, shrugging my arms off. She brushed out her white coat and whipped furiously at her eyes. "I'll ask for my next shift off though. But I have to get through the next three hours." I nodded mutely, knowing that any more words would just trigger the tears. "Mako's in Emergency right now. I'll let the desk know that some of her guests have arrived." I watched her briefly and then turned towards the large swinging doors to my left. I couldn't see anyone moving around inside; no operating table was in view. I don't know why I expected it to be, but I felt let down all the same. I sat down at one of the many lined chairs that were situated perpendicular to the doors. Perhaps it was supposed to draw your attention away from it. That didn't really work. "Usagi!" My head snapped to attention and I saw the frantic figure of Tsukasa, Mako's husband. He ran at full speed and let his whole 6'4'' frame enveloped me in a tight, grateful hug. "Oh God, oh God, oh God…." He sobbed. I joined him in the chant and let him rock me gently. He must be in such pain. I hated to think of anyone losing someone they cherished so much. I couldn't imagine what was going on in his mind right now. "Have you heard anything?" He finally asked once he let me go, holding my shoulders at arms length, desperation and despair written all over his face. I shook my head sadly. "I just got here myself. Ami called me as soon as she found out." I replied blandly. "Is Mizuno-san in there?" He asked, barely able to look in the direction of the ER. I shook my head more fiercely. "She was doing rounds when she happened upon…" A lump formed in my throat. "She called me as soon as she found out. The hospital must have contacted you, though." He nodded, now not able to take his eyes off the large kanji printed on the windows of the ER doors. "What did they tell you?" I hated to ask, but I couldn't go on in such ignorance anymore. "That she had an accident at the restaurant, and that there was blood…." His voice cracked and he looked down in an effort to regain himself. He shook his head, eyes still on the floor. "I.. I really don't remember much after that. I just raced down here as fast as I could. "Demo, how did you get here so fast? Aren't you a two hour train ride away?" He asked. My heart skipped a beat, and I knew that I couldn't burden him with my petty problems at this point. "I was at Ami's when she called." "Oh." "I'm sure Mina will be here soon, as well." I stated absently. She was less than thirty minutes from here, providing she wasn't at the news station. I checked my watch. Nope, she wasn't due on the air until 6. I was sure Ami had called her too. As if on cue, Minako bolted from around the corner and ran to the desk just as I spotted her blonde hair from behind. My pulse raced again at the idea of explaining anymore. The nurse pointed to where we stood and Mina's petite form sprinted at the sight of us. Nearly bowling me over, she was already a wreck with sobs and she clung to me like she was dying. I did the same, extremely glad for the excuse to be frenzied and hysterical too. "I've got someone to cover for me on the air for the next two days." She wiped her eyes, streaking mascara everywhere. "What the hells happened to Makoto?" She directed the question to her husband and he shook his head and shrugged simultaneously. "Accident at work." He sucked in a breath. "I don't know much more. They wouldn't even tell me whether she was stable or not when they called." "Is Ami…?" She looked from Tsukasa to me. I shook my head swiftly. "Nope, just working her shift when she came across it." I felt my composure returning with each turn at the story. "I was at her place when she called me there." I explained in advance, already anticipating. "Oh God, I can't believe this." She looked behind me at the wall before suddenly grabbing my shoulders tightly, causing me to wince in pain. "The baby! Oh shit, what about the baby?" I could see just the mention of it was like a knife in Tsukasa, and I cried inside for the poor man. "They…they didn't mention that either when they rang me." He answered. "Oh no…." Minako wailed, letting go of me and covering her face with her hands. "Why is this happening?" We all wallowed in the questions that plagued us, grasping hands and shoulders and torso's, hanging on for dear life. I tried to block images of Mako on that cold, steel table from my mind. I had only been in a hospital once before, when my grandmother had a stroke and died before they could revive her mind again. I hated the tubes and machines that made horrible, mechanical noises every second; all that for a woman who was 87. I didn't want to think of what Mako could be hooked up to. I couldn't shake the idea that they were all useless. "Is there any immediate family for Shitaro Makoto?" A voice piped up, a few second before the sound of the swinging doors opening registered in my mind. Tsukasa let go of the two of us and bolted to the blue-clad doctor who had emerged. I grasped Minako's hand tightly, watching the two converse, hoping to catch snatches of words or even a facial expression that might give something away. Tsukasa just crossed his arms protectively over his chest and nodded, tears still streaming down his face. I couldn't tell if they were fresh or if perhaps just renewed with the development. They conversed only momentarily and then Tsukasa walked swiftly back us, who were already waiting anxiously. "No idea whether Mako's going to make it." He clenched his jaw and looked to his left. "It doesn't look good for the baby." "No…." I moaned, falling down into my seat again, sobbing into my hands. Tsukasa and Minako embraced in console, both crying uncontrollably. My face felt hot and my eyes hurt like hell from the tears and the rubbing. Everything within my body felt like it was going to explode. Nothing seemed OK inside me. "This can't be happening…." Tsukasa stated, although I knew he didn't believe it. I sniffled in vain and shook my head. "Then why is it?" ***** It had been over three hours, without so much as one visit from the Mako's surgeon when Minako mentioned she needed some coffee. Tsukasa declined without uttering a word and I agreed to accompany her towards the cafeteria. We both looked terrible, eyes and noses red from crying and hair a mess. We walked in silence for minutes, just staring straight ahead. When we finally turned into the bustling hospital cafeteria, Minako faced me, pausing. "I hate this, Usagi." She seemed to contemplate her next words. " I really hate this." She stated the phrase as if it was new and unexpected. As if I myself might disagree. "Me too, Minako." I sighed, walking towards the coffee maker silently while she padded behind. "I… I've never felt so helpless in my life." "I've never felt so alone in my life." I couldn't voice the words, but I agreed silently. More than once in the past few hours I thought how lonely it felt, sitting in that sterile waiting for something that I wasn't even sure I would like. I could have been with all my loved ones in the whole world and I would still feel like a stranger. I didn't even recognize my life this afternoon. I felt like an actress. "If she doesn't pull through…." Minako started, staring down at her freshly filled Styrofoam cup. She shook her head as she looked me hard in the eyes. "She's the strongest one out of any of us. What are we gonna do?" Tears lined her lids, and she shook with fresh sobs. I placed my cup down and just held her. She just stood there and I could feel the warmth from her coffee at my midsection. She finally broke down in the next second and just threw her arms around me. "What are we gonna do?!" "I… I don't know." ***** We walked in silence back to the waiting room, coffee completely untouched. My heart pounded at the idea that we might have missed an update on our friends condition. I could make out voices conversing and I could feel my stomach in my throat. Minako and I sped up and rounded the corner at the same time, but Minako kept going. I stopped immediately. It wasn't the doctor Tsukasa had been talking with. It was Mamoru. I cursed him mentally, for showing up and making me think about this god- forsaken divorce, for having the audacity to even come, knowing I would be here. I wanted so much to hate him, to loathe and despise him. Every fiber in me wanted to toss my scathing drink on him and scald him for setting foot in this hospital today. But I didn't. I couldn't. We just stared for a moment and I knew that Tsukasa and Minako must have felt completely in the dark, what with our strange behavior. My heart was thudding inside me at an alarming rate, and I knew, deep down, that I couldn't do this by myself. Not now; maybe at a different time, under different circumstances, but not now. I had been holding myself and the other two up for almost four hours, and I felt I wanted to collapse into someone else's arms for once. I wanted to be the one to cry. The pity in those eyes that stared right into me, peered right into my soul, just cast the last few months to the side, out of the way, at least for the moment. Without even another thought I sniffled, so glad to feel even a little relief, and sprinted. I landed in his waiting embrace and let myself be gathered up in his warmth. I'd never felt so exhausted in my life. My legs gave out and he just held me, feet literally not touching the floor. I breathed in his scent, not having done it in so long and then exhaled in liberation. I didn't think about how it made no sense or how it still wasn't as it used to be. I didn't let my mind wander into how hurt and afraid and stricken I had been for almost a year. I just knew at this moment, and this moment only, I wasn't alone. ************************************** And the crowd lets out a collective "AAAAAAW!". To which 'ropa replies "IT'S NOT OVER YET!" You think I'm gonna let you off that easy? HAH! I haven't wrung this thing dry of angst yet… I can still squeeze more out.... Sadism is my specialty. As usual, feedback is appreciate muchly! And please IM me if you feel like it! I'm very entertaining, if only for my poor grammar skills. Gimme a....jingle. Or whatever. Thanks for reading! slr_europa@yahoo.com http://www.geocities.com/sailorananke/ AIM :: SeeShelliRun