This is NOT my first attempt at writing, so if you think it sucks, it probably
won't get much better. So tuff noogies. ^.^ I, personally, am not a big fan of this 
story. I have no idea where it's all going (well, not totally... We're discovering 
together! Oh, the bonding shared between reader and a clueless author!), so 
your guess is as good as mine. And if you have any ideas that are reasonable, 
I'd love to hear them! As long as it doesn't include death, bloodshed, 
dismemberment, or an X Rating, I'm pretty openminded. Anywho, enjoy Chapter 1!

Reminder: SM isn't yours. Neither is this story. It *is* mine. So is SM....

.....

OK, the last one isn't true.... You caught me.

slr_europa@yahoo.com

http://www.geocities.com/sailorananke/



****************************************************
Need Me
Chapter One 

By Sailor Europa



	"Hai, gomen Ami-chan....." I sighed. I gave a hasty glance at 
the hunched over form of my husband, writing furiously at some 
papers in front of him. I gave a resigned nod towards the phone as I 
turned my attention back to my friend on the line. "I don't think 
Mamoru is going to be able to join me tonight. I'll take the train up to 
Gifu in a few minutes, since he might need the car should he have 
to take a trip back to town." 

	The shorter girl have a small 'hai Usagi-chan.' before 
hanging up. I shifted around in my small wooden chair to face the 
oblivious form of my husband. I groaned as I stood up, taking a few 
pensive steps towards him. 

	"Mamoru?" I asked tentatively. A curt grunt was the reply I 
got, and I took it as a sign to continue. "I'm going up to gifu-pref to 
have dinner with Ami and Minako. Will you be able to find 
something for yourself if you get hungry?" He honored me with a 
short, annoyed look over his shoulder, and waved a hand 
dismissively at me. 

	"Hai, hai Usagi....I'll pick something up on the way to the 
office...." I nodded grimly to his back. So he was going back. It 
wasn't the first time though, and it wouldn't be the last. I began to 
gather my bag and sweater from the bedroom. I had given up hope 
months ago that one of these nights he would join me. He used to 
promise me that we would go out. 'Once this case is over Usako, I 
swear we'll go out more'. I heard that more than 'I love you'. But 
even the empty promises began to dissipate over time, and all I 
would get were hollow 'hello's' and a few 'good night, Usagi.'s as I 
would finally wander into the bedroom alone, after waiting up for him 
to join me. 

	I gave a dejected smile as I blew a kiss towards the frazzled 
figure of my husband, one more loving gesture going completely 
unnoticed. I let my gaze linger on him for few moments as I stood in 
the doorway of our apartment. My eyes could barely make out the 
last few glimpses of the man I loved, the man I married. I could 
hardly see that Mamoru, my Mamo-chan. Now there was only a 
broken, shallow person who crawled into bed hours after I had 
already fallen into a restless sleep, and left before I even had the 
chance to wish him a good day at work. A small groan came from 
his direction and I snapped out of my dream. I blinked hard to rid 
the vision of that other man and with an inward sigh I turned my 
back on the room and left without another word. 


*****


	The lush green country side zipped past me, mushing into 
what seemed to me just one big mess as I stared aimlessly out the 
window of the train towards Gifu. The prospect of seeing two of my 
best friends should have been enough to snap me out of my 
depression, but I couldn't help but stare at the empty seat to my left 
constantly. I had told Ami two weeks ago that both of us would be 
joining them for dinner. I had clung to the glimmer of hope that, 
since he confirmed that this evening was free for him, things would 
stay that way. But things didn't stay that way. A sudden murder 
case popped up, and, even though someone else in the firm could 
have taken it, Mamoru had snatched it up before they had the 
chance. I had understood, to a point. He has been praised a 
promising criminal lawyer, one of the brightest in Tokyo, and this 
was a high profile case. It was going to be televised and everything. 
If he could nail this case like he was so sure he could, his career 
would be made. 

	I know how important his job is to him. He takes it very 
seriously, as should he. Every case enveloped him, sucking every 
free moment he had. His dedication was the reason for his success, 
and he was extremely proud to be a partner at such a young age. I 
too was proud of him. It was an incredible honor, and I knew it. But I 
had to wonder if all the wives of his colleagues were this 
unsatisfied. Did they feel ignored in their own houses, more like a 
maid than a member of the family? 

	It's been almost two years since we got married. He was 
fresh out of law school, bursting with ambition and ready to jump 
right in. However, inexperience prevented him from getting too 
involved in many cases. His days were spent at the office, and his 
nights were spent right next to me. Some mornings he didn't even 
want to get out of bed, he would groan in displeasure when I would 
wriggle from his arms to start breakfast. And some nights I would 
even forget all about his career. Those nights were bliss, when he 
would hold me forever, covering me with kisses, keeping me up all 
night long. 

	God, and it's been so long since we made love! The past 
year was like a drought. I've considered it lucky to even get a kiss in 
the morning! He's usually an hour ahead of me in the morning, 
already on his way to the firm before I even have the chance to 
open my eyes. 

	My mind snapped to attention as the train came to a halt. My 
destination was announced and I reluctantly picked up my 
belongings and plodded out into the aisle. The line was slow 
moving, and I stood in one place for minutes on end. Finally, after 
what seemed like an eternity, the line moved, and I eventually found 
myself inside the train station. 

*****

	"Usagi! Usagi-chan!" I blinked a couple times, my eyes 
focusing on two forms motioning towards me. I broke out in a large 
grin and waved emphatically back. Their faces lit up in return and I 
picked up my pace, my feet trotting towards my two friends. 

	"Oooh Usagi!" Minako squealed excitedly as she threw her 
arms around me the second I had arrived at their side. She 
bounced happily as we hugged and I laughed, glad to see that 
some things hadn't changed. She released me from her death grip, 
and I turned towards the more reserved, petite girl at her left. I 
smiled broadly at Ami, and she returned it whole-heartedly, her 
hands clasped anxiously in front of her. Then, we both erupted in 
giggles, enveloping each other in a warm embrace. 

	"It's so good to see you, Usagi-chan." She whispered quietly. 
We both stepped away and continued to grin like mad. 

	"Likewise." I laughed softly. 


*****


	"And so they finally promoted me to anchorwoman!" Minako 
giggled, her signature squeal punctuating the sentence. I shook my 
head, amazed at how far my friend had gotten on her own. Minako, 
one of the closest friends I had during my junior high and high 
school years, hadn't changed much. Her clothes were a bit more 
sophisticated, soft and pale now, giving her a distinctive style for 
her News show. Her hair was also shorter, coming to a stylish flip 
just above her shoulders. But despite all the physical abnormalities, 
her voice and mannerisms revealed the same old Minako-chan. 

	Ami too, looked quite different than the person I remember 
from Graduation. Her hair was shorter, probably a lot more 
manageable for her internship at the hospital. After many years of 
intensive study habits and hard work, Ami's final goal was finally on 
the home stretch. Another few months of interning and she would 
earn her residency. 

	I marveled at how the two had changed, and yet managed to 
stay exactly the same as I remembered them. It felt like the 
previous years apart just disappeared into thin air. It was amazing 
how we seemed to just pick up right where we left off. 

	"A six figure income! Can you imagine?" Minako giggled 
softly and I shook my head at the unabashed mentioning of her 
salary. 

	"That's nothing compared to what Ami will be getting in the 
near future." I said with a grin, tipping my water glass towards the 
friend at my right. She blushed and looked down at her lap. 

	"Oh, I don't care about the money. I've wanted to help people 
in this way for years." She said softly. She looked up then, a small 
smile on her lips. "Of course, being able to afford the upkeep on my 
mothers mansion is quite a perk." Minako and I both chimed in with 
laughter. God this felt good. I hadn't been so carefree in ages. 

	"So, _Chiba_ Usagi....You haven't said a single word about 
what you've been up to these days. Are you and Mamoru-san 
keeping up with each other?" Minako got that familiar glint in her 
eye and I gulped. I had hoped to keep the talk of my marriage to a 
minimum, and had done all I could to steer the conversation away 
from any subject that could lead to the matter. I kept my smile 
glowing though, careful not to let them see how much the idea 
affected me. The truth was, I didn't know how my marriage was. 
Hell, I didn't even know how my husband was. It'd been so long 
since I'd had any kind of conversation with him at any length. 
However, I kept the facade up as best I could. I wouldn't let them 
see how confused I was. 

	"Of course! Mamoru has been very busy with the law firm 
since he made partner, though." I gave a brave smile to confirm the 
thought. "I'm so proud of him. He's been so dedicated to his career, 
and it's virtually unheard of to make it this far in so short a time, you 
know." I ducked my head downwards a bit in an effort to hide my 
lying eyes. They would betray every inch of me and I knew it. 

	I hated saying such things to them. These are the girls who 
used to know everything about me. I used to be able to tell them 
everything that went on in my life, and now I felt as if I had to cover 
my true identity in order to preserve the image they still held me in. 
The meal I just finished settled heavily in the pit of my stomach, the 
lies and the food not sitting well within me. 

	"Listen, why don't we go back to my place? It's getting pretty 
late, and I think the busboys are getting a little upset..." Ami said, 
and I felt the relief hit me as once more the spotlight was taken off 
me. Minako and I both nodded in agreement, simultaneously 
standing erect from our chairs. I stretched my legs and for the first 
time glanced down at my watch. It was past 10 o'clock. No doubt 
Mamoru was still at the office. It didn't even cross my mind that he 
might be worried about me. I really should have been home by now. 
I still had a two hour train ride back to Tokyo. But I glanced towards 
my two friends who were now heading for the exit. With a sigh of 
resignation, I trotted past the tables towards them. For once, maybe 
I would be the one climbing into bed after him....


*****

	"I'd really like to stay longer, but I have a show tomorrow at 
6....."  Minako sighed, two and half hours later. The three of us were 
spread out along Ami's plush living room, shoes off, a bottle of red 
wine open on the coffee table in front of us. "And if I drink anymore I 
don't think I'll be able to drive myself home!" She added with a 
giggle that was probably the wine talking more than anything else. 
Ami nodded, running a hand through her short blue hair, deep in 
thought. 

	"We really have to do this again sometime soon...." She 
sighed, her eyes getting wistful. "It's such a shame Makoto and Rei 
couldn't join us...." 

	"Poor Makoto....7 months pregnant and bed ridden..." Minako 
clucked her tongue as she shook her head. She pulled herself up 
from her position on the couch and began to stretch 
enthusiastically. 

	"What about Rei?" I asked curiously. I hadn't heard from any 
of them in God knows how long....Most of this was news to me. 

	"Festival at the temple. Since Grandpa past away, Rei's had 
to do everything herself. Poor girl never gets a break...." I nodded in 
comprehension, still too comfortable to take part in the retreat of my 
other blonde friend. Minako gathered up her stuff around her and 
handed her glass to Ami, who also had begun to clean up the clutter 
we had managed to accumulate in the short time we were here. I 
groaned in displeasure as my legs stretched out from beneath me, 
and I reluctantly stood up. I too, began to collect my scattered 
belongings. I bent down to retrieve my bag, and upon standing back 
up, received quite a shock when my head didn't really want to go 
along with my body. 

	"Woah...." I mumbled loudly, falling back onto the couch 
behind me with flourish. Ami walked back into the room then, a dish 
towel in her hands. "That was weird...." 

	"Are you OK Usagi?" She asked, a concerned expression on 
her face. I gave a brave smile in return and a half hearted nod in her 
direction. 

	"Yeah....I just don't drink too much these days anymore...." I 
said in reply. 

	"Why don't you stay here for the night? You can go right to 
bed, instead of the three + hours you would be traveling home." Ami 
took a seat next to me, and with some effort, I raised my head to 
look her in the eye. I smiled gratefully, not sure whether I should 
accept or not. I didn't want to impose, but the idea of going home to 
that cold, empty bed made my heart sink painfully in my chest. The 
dull ache seemed to be intensified by the alcohol, and I began to 
feel the despair creeping throughout my body. 

	"That would be great...." I muttered. "Are you sure it won't be 
any trouble?" She laughed shortly and waved a dismissive hand at 
me. 

	"Of course not. My mum's out of town for a while, so the 
whole house is mine. She travels constantly since she retired." She 
replied. I looked longingly around me. It was so tempting.... "Will 
Mamoru-san be upset if you stay?" I cringed at the mention of him. I 
knew very well he wouldn't. He probably won't even notice I'm 
gone. 

	"No." I sighed. "No, it'll be fine. I'm sure of it." I said quietly. I 
looked up and gave Ami a grateful smile. "Thanks." She returned 
the favor. 

	"Think nothing of it, Usagi-chan." She grinned, satisfied. 
Then, as she picked herself up off the couch, she added, "Besides, 
it'll give us a chance to catch up some more." I nodded absently to 
her back as she left the room to show Minako out. I sighed, not 
wanting to pick my exhausted body off it's all too comfortable spot. I 
leaned my head back onto the wall and closed my eyes. At least I 
wasn't going home. I mean, I'll be alone in this bed, but at least I 
won't have to pretend I'm asleep when another body tries to climb in 
at all hours of the night. No, I can sleep peacefully. Whatever that 
means. 


*****


	After a few minutes, Ami had returned to the living room, and 
with some effort, we managed to pull me off the couch in a group 
effort. I laughed tiredly as she groaned under my weight, and gave 
me a perturbed smirk as we finally managed to get my feet on the 
ground. 

	She settled me in a large room off the left hallway beside the 
living room where we had sat. She pointed out the necessities, the 
adjoining bathroom, the balcony and such, before pulling the phone 
closer to my bed and instructed me to call Mamoru before he got 
worried about my whereabouts. My jaw tightened as I nodded 
solemnly, careful not to let her see the stoniness in my eyes as she 
mentioned my husband. With a promise to be back with some sleep 
wear and pillows, she padded silently out the door. 

	My joints moving slowly, the influence of alcohol weighing on 
my body, I made my way carefully towards the bed. I carefully sat 
down on the plush, stark white comforter, my eyes never leaving 
the shining princess phone that was now no more than two feet 
from me. I blinked at it, not knowing whether to make the move and 
call him, or take a chance and not even bother. Everything 
from within me screamed the logical answer. Call, damn it! It's the 
right thing to do. If he were to stay away all night, I would expect 
him to do the same, right? 

	But from somewhere within my mind I recalled the look on his 
face when I had left, hours ago. Annoyance. I had interrupted his 
research. It was well past one in the morning now, but I'd known 
from past events that he had stayed out much past this time. In fact, 
he probably wouldn't even leave the office until after three, possibly 
four. And when he did _finally_ straggle in, would he even notice 
the vacant queen size bed? The missing body from beneath the 
covers? Had he ever noticed that there had even been one all those 
nights? Not once could I remember a kiss, even an absent-minded 
one, goodnight before he finally fell into rest. 

	My eyes never left the phone. They stayed locked on the 
gleaming, cream colored ivory encasing the receiver, the blinding, 
silver metal trimming. And from somewhere deep within me, I felt 
one small tear fall down my cold cheek, followed by another one 
surfacing from my unblinking eye. I swallowed hard. I felt so 
unbelievably alone at that moment. The confusion seemed to 
overwhelm me, but I knew that confusion was the only emotion I 
could possibly comprehend, the only one my heart would muster. 
The others were frightening. The alternatives to this were much, 
much worse....

	"Usagi-chan?" Ami called from the now open door. I gave a
quick sniff as I quickly brushed at the wetness on my cheeks, and 
then threw her a quiet grin in return. She hurried to my side, placing 
the items she was carrying on the end of the bed. She blinked 
quickly and stared at me for a few seconds. "Is there anything you'd 
like to talk about?" I was taken aback for a few seconds, but I was 
cautious and kept my composure. 

	"Not really...." I started. Her eyes grew skeptical. 

	"Are you sure?" She asked again, slower, raising an 
eyebrow. I gave reassuring laugh. 

	"Of course." She let her shoulders sag a bit more, her 
posture accepting my answer. She nodded and the turned towards 
the door once more. 

	"I left you two extra blankets and two extra pillows." She said, 
pivoting around and pointing to the folded items a few feet beside 
me. "I hope you feel better in the morning." She gave me a small 
wink before adding, "I'll have Marta make pancakes tomorrow." I 
gave a tiny, genuine smile in return, just before she shut the door 
for the last time. 

	The second I felt the breeze from the door, my face 
crumpled. My hands rubbed painfully at my eyes and the sobs 
racked my chest, my body convulsing along with them. I could feel 
the tipsiness from the wine dripping from my bloodstream, the 
overwhelming feelings now coming from within me. 

 	"All this over one phone call?" I gave a disturbed laugh 
despite my faltering composure. I let the tears cascade down my 
cheeks, my chest hiccuping absently under the weight of my sobs. 
Heaving a large sigh, I picked my haggard body off the bed and 
crept silently out the door. Somewhere amidst my wailing, my head 
had begun to throb. At the very thought of some tea, I could already 
feel the subtle aches and pains melt from my figure. 

	I padded slowly down the marble hallway, wondering which 
of the many doors I passed was Ami's, if any of them. I knew there 
was an entirely different wing on the other end of the structure, and 
where my friend was amongst it, I had no idea. 

	After some searching, I finally arrived at the open door of the 
kitchen, and after some MORE searching, flipped the light switch to 
the right of me. I cringed as my eyes adjusted to the bright light, my 
impairment only intensified by the alcohol still mulling through my 
bloodstream. As soon as the stinging in my eyes subsided, I blinked 
and realized I was in way over my head. The kitchen seemed to 
tower above me, with a central stove, pots and pans hanging all 
around me, deep sinks in the corner of the room.....I sucked in a 
shocked breath, my eyes growing wide. I couldn't figure out whether 
it was my partial drunkenness that made me so fearful, or if the 
room really was this immense. 

	I took a frightened step forwards, not exactly sure what to do 
first. 

	"Boil water....." I mumbled, half to fill the emptiness of the 
room, and half to remind me exactly what I was suppose to do first. 
With slow movements I filled one of the closest pots with water from 
the sink, and set it on the central stove about 20 feet in front of me, 
and flipped the corresponding knob. 

	Then once more, I milled about the place, opening doors and 
rummaging in cabinets, sure that Ami had to have tea bags 
somewhere in this small country she called a kitchen. 

	After at least ten minutes of searching, all in vain, my 
frustrations began to build and everything accumulated and made 
it's way towards the surface. I could hear the pot beginning to boil 
behind me, and I felt my eyebrow begin to twitch in response. My 
fists itched and my fingers slowly curled into a fist as my vision 
blurred with more unshed tears. Deep inside I knew it wasn't just 
the need for tea that I was so frustrated about, but even I wasn't 
about to admit defeat just yet to this invisible demon challenging 
me. No, I let my denial clog my judgment a bit more, and as I stared 
at the open cupboard in front of me, my jaw set in a tight line. With 
a surge of power I grabbed a hold of the cherry oak door and 
slammed it shut, the heavy wood and the sheer force causing a low 
rumble to echo throughout the stark walls. I heard a few muffled 
crashes from the inside, and the then the tears fell. Only moments 
after my little power surge and I was already so embarrassed. What 
the hell was wrong with me? 

	I let my knees buckle beneath me and I collapsed to the cool 
tile floor, my face buried in a tangled mess of fingers and wrinkled 
hair. I was barely aware of the little popping sounds coming from the 
now bubbling stove as I rubbed feverishly at my bloodshot eyes, the 
cold atmosphere around me stinging them now. 

	"Usagi?" My head shot up and I was met with a confused and 
extremely worried friend, still staring at me from a spot in the 
doorway. I looked up sheepishly, barely able to meet her eyes. 

	"I couldn't find any tea." I mumbled, humiliated at myself. The air 
went out of her composure and her feet scuffled over to my pathetic 
form. She knelt down by me and wrapped her arms firmly around 
my shoulders, giving me a warm embrace before hoisting myself up 
off the floor. 
	

*****

	"Are you going to tell me what's wrong now Usagi?" She 
asked me, her eyes set in a determined line across the table from 
me, and I felt my self confidence falter under the glare. I paused. 

	"It's Mamoru, isn't it?" My eyes shot up immediately and 
caught her steady expression. She wasn't asking the question, she 
knew she was right. I nodded in self defeat. 

	"Usagi, why didn't you tell me? Why did you feel the need to 
hide it?" She asked, tilting her head slightly at me. I sighed, for the 
first time that night preparing to speak at length. 

	"I...I don't know. You all thought I had this great life 
and....Kami-sama, I don't know. I...I just did." I wrung out, my voice 
battered and broken under the pressure of my own thoughts. She 
remained stone faced, her expression never changing. "How did 
you figure it out?" I asked, partially out of curiosity, but also hoping 
desperately to get some of the heat off of me. She looked down and 
gave a slightly embarrassed smile. 

	"You didn't refer to him as 'Mamo-chan'. You called him 
Mamoru." She said quietly, giving me a sly smile. I blinked. Shocked 
at her observation, I swallowed, wondering what else she also could 
have figured out. 

	"I haven't called him that in years." I stared down at the table 
blankly, wondering why this same conversation hadn't been played 
out in my head already a million times. "I...I stopped a few months 
after he stopped calling me 'Usako'." 

	"Oh, Usagi-chan." Ami moaned, grabbing my hand from 
across the octagonal shaped table. She slipped a small, reassuring 
smile that, in itself, wasn't all that comforting. But I returned the grin 
as best I could, with about as much success as she had I imagined. 
"What in heaven's name happened?" 

	"He got so involved in work....." I muttered lamely, not sure 
where to begin, and wondering if I even wanted to. I shook my head 
as I stared down at my lap, not able to look her in the eyes. I was so 
ashamed. Ashamed I lied, and even more ashamed that I had been 
caught. How long did I think I could keep the charade up? "I know it 
sounds a little weird, but....We stopped talking so long ago. And it 
all went down hill from there." I added a simple laugh, but it only 
made my argument more pathetic. 

	"I don't know what to do. He doesn't see me anymore. He 
looks right past me. It's like....It really is like I'm not even there." I 
said, finally lifting my confused eyes to meet hers. Her brow was 
knitted together in concern and it only made me more humiliated. 
What she must think of me.....

	"That's why he didn't join us tonight?" She asked and I 
nodded in reply. 

	"He forgot all about this, even though I'd planned it weeks in 
advance." I stated. She gave her own silent nod. "I think maybe it'd 
be better for us both if maybe I wasn't there." I added, retreating 
back to the previous conversation. Ami's eyebrows shot up in 
surprise. 

	"So you really want to leave him, Usagi-chan?" She asked 
again. I continued to stare intensely at the hard wood table top, 
gritting my teeth as I contemplated her question. 	

	"I honestly don't know." My shoulders sagged and I began to 
honestly answer it inside my head. "I...I still love him. But 
maybe...Maybe this is as far as we can go. I don't want to keep him 
tied to anything he doesn't want....anymore." The tears threatened 
themselves once more at the very thought of being alone and on my 
own but I angrily swept them prematurely away. 

	"What do you want, Usagi? Forget about what he wants. 
What do _you_ want?" 

	I lifted my head and met her challenging gaze head on. I 
stumbled on the words, and realized I hadn't really thought about 
the things on my mind. I didn't know what I wanted. At this point, I 
couldn't tell if a life without Chiba Mamoru was a life I preferred. It 
had been so long since I felt like he was even a part of my life. For 
the past year I felt lonely and cold in that apartment, not part of a 
union any longer. The misery had sunk in around me, and I could 
remember wanting nothing more than to be out of there. I couldn't 
stand being there alone. It all reminded me of him and the short 
while we actually needed each other. 

	"I don't know what I want...." I muttered helplessly. It was so 
honest and open. I couldn't deny the feeling of wandering around 
aimlessly, not knowing what my heart desired anymore. Ami gave 
me an encouraging nudge. "But I _need_ Mamoru." I whimpered, 
my voice giving under the pressure and cracking finally. The floods 
came and the feelings rushed forth, filling me and consuming every 
spare part of my body. 

	"I'm so alone, Ami! I can't go back to that apartment. I can't 
go back to the cold, the emptiness. It hurts too much...." My face felt 
as if it were drowning, covered it moisture from the release. I 
covered it with my hands, my body shaking and rattling from the 
sobs that refused to stop, the sobs I had held back for so long. 
"This isn't just something I want Ami, for so long he's been a part of 
me, he's been inside of me. I need him, but I can't go back if I can't 
have him. I can't face him, not this way." Every limb, every muscle 
ached and I longed for the time when it was his arms that would 
comfort me, hold me until the tears ceased. But instead I felt the 
slender, cool arms from so long ago as Ami shushed me into her 
comforting embrace. So many years before the feeling might have 
stilled me, but it wasn't the warmth I needed. It couldn't calm the 
storm that had begun inside my mind and was just now making itself 
known. All those nights when I would sit and wait for him to lay next 
to me, join me in bed. It built up steadily until my part was nothing 
but silent submission. It had gradually increased, day by day, and I 
hadn't a choice but to accept it. But now as I gazed back on the big 
picture, the wasted months I'd never get back, everything inside me 
dropped like a lead weight. It felt so useless, the crying, the 
mourning. And I couldn't think of a damn thing to do...
	

*****************************

I know, I know. Awkward place to leave the chapter. But I had to
stop somewhere, and this is already fixing to be a fairly long series.
Anyway, I gotta thank my betas who keep my with plenty
of material and "inspiration" (i.e. - death threats) to keep my stories
going. ^_^ Don't forget to e-mail me!

slr_europa@yahoo.com

http://www.geocities.com/sailorananke/

AIM - SeeShelliRun