Hey guys, I'm gonna tell you right off that back -- this chapter sucks. I had to rewrite it after losing it MULTIPLE times, so I apologize, and I promise, it WILL get better. Just get to Volume 2 -- that's my baby, and I am MIGHTY proud of it. Anywho, off you go! slr_europa@yahoo.com http://www.geocities.com/slr_europa AIM :: SeeShelliRun ******************************************* Love Through Time ~ A Serena and Darien Saga Volume I, Chapter I (re-write) By Sailor Europa "Mommy!" Was what I was greeted with, in a high pitched fashion, as soon as I walked in the door, by my darling adolescent daughter, blonde pigtails bobbing happily behind her. I laughed, pulling my body down to the floor so she could wrap those delicious little arms around me. "Did you have fun, honey?" I asked, brushing the locks of golden hair from her eyes as she nodded and batted, annoyed, at my hand. "Yes. Sarah's good at hide and seek!" She giggled. As if on cue, a ragged housemaid straggled through the back door, hair askew and blue striped uniform spotted with mud. She gave me an embarrassed smile and hung her head, humiliated. "I'm sorry Miss, Selene got away from me this time...." She apologized slightly, her eyes down. I smiled and shook my head. "Understandable. She isn't the easiest rascal to keep up with, is she?" I asked mischievously, gripping my daughters flushed face in my hand, and winking, the question more directed at her than the older woman. She smiled gratefully, and then pulled Selene in the direction of the door again. "Mr. Williams returned while you were away, Miss." Sarah said, almost an afterthought, turning her neck to face me, before my daughter yanked her out the door. My stomach turned and my lips curled distastefully at the thought. I wondered what he had forgotten this time. I surveyed the room around me, my eyes watching for any displacement, but catching none. One of Harlan's signature lies. "He knew I'd be with Patrice today...." I mumbled questioningly to the air, racking my mind for any recollection from that morning. "What excuse could he possibly have for checking up on me again?" I sighed, resigning to my ignorance on the subject. Sometimes, even my own husband confused me. And the fact that that idea wasn't upsetting only made me wonder more. He had used his masculinity early on to overpower me. The marriage was a farce, a charade that I was forced into. I didn't know how to object when my mother introduced me to this man so many years ago. He was attractive, indeed handsome, smart, somewhat mannered. More importantly to my family, he was rich. Wallowing in old money, more so than my parents could have ever desired for me. We hadn't been poor, to any extent, but the need to see me properly provided for and taken care of was too much of burden. And the luxury of respect never came into consideration when choosing my mate. Harlan was qualified in every way to be my future husband, and thus the matter was closed. And now, five years into this hell, I was surviving. Although I'll admit just barely. I had given him a child, almost immediately after accepting his name and he hadn't touched me since. However, I can't say that the thought was pleasing even to me. I had a child now, and loved her more than anything else in this world. She is the only good thing to come from this union. And so now, after so long a time, I settled into somewhat of a routine. Not very comfortable, albeit, but one nonetheless. I had grown accustomed to avoiding those awkward silences, the piercing, unhappy glares, the long dinners on those rare occassions that we were alone. Selene was my fallback, my vice. If she wasn't around, it was almost impossible to tolerate my husband. He so obviously was not fond of me, and I had trouble even being in his presence alone. All in all, it was not a happy marriage. ***** I was jolted awake by a sudden surge of adrenaline and I blushed, humiliated that I had even let myself fall alseep in the middle of the day. I looked around slowly, taking in all that was around me, realizing by the book in my lap that I had been reading as I awaited lunch with my daughter, and had fallen peacefully asleep in a large, plush chair in our parlor. I glanced at the clock to my far right, and shook my weary head. I had slept right through the meal, and no one had even bothered to wake me at all. My feet outstretched from their postion beneath me and planted on the floor as I hoisted myself up from the seat. I decided that I should try to find Selene and apologize for abandoning her that afternoon, and immediately trotted out the back door in search of my little blonde child or her exhausted nannie, Sarah. I found it rather odd that as I walked down the few steps leading to the garden, I heard not a peep from either person. It was unusual of such a quiet day to be occuring in our home. A five year old was rarely silent, and it was quite obvious that Selene was as normal as the next toddler. And even though this struck me as strange, it didn't seem to ignite my motherly instinct, if such a thing was indeed true. I wandered about the yard for a few moments, confused as to where the duo might have gone to. Lunch was long over I mused to myself, trying to uncover any new kind of idea as to where they could be hiding. After moments of turning nothing up in the garden, my mind began to mount with worry. It started small, and I began to grasp at uncertainties, small notions that I subconciously I knew were not true, things like wondering if perhaps I had missed them inside the house, or maybe they had gone for a walk by themselves when I hadn't awoken. These feelings increased and the frantic paranoia took over. I ripped around our home, checking every crevice, large enough ones to house both bodies, and ones that no human could possibly squeeze into. The desperation was beginning to set in. It was about then that I bolted out the back door towards the garden once more upon a small sound that could have come from that general direction. My steps slowed, I didn't want to overlook them when I ran, and I found myself looking back onto our large, two story home, eyes upturned to the roof in a last effort to search for them. The next moments seemed painfully slow and helpless to me. I heard a snap from above, and low wail that grew to a high pitched squeal. In order came a thick branch from the oak behind me, tumbling to my feet, and seconds after came a tangle of blonde hair and limp limbs, frighteningly silent once the dull thump rang from the ground on which she fell. I stared in horror for what felt like years and eternities, too scared to even make a move, breath or even think. If I were to dwell on it for even a moment, it would become all too real and honest and I wouldn't be able to deny it anymore. But once the tears threatened to surface and my vision blurred, I had to blink them back and the reality set in as my eyeline broke. I felt as if I were made of lead and I couldn't move nearly as fast as my heart was telling me was necessary. My hands shook violently, and I was fearful I would drop her once I was able to get a grip. I bent down weakly and hoisted her gently but firmly in my arms, not knowing how or where to continue. I couldn't think straight and I almost sobbed at how helpless I had become in the previous minutes. I eventually found my way to the gate that lead to the front yard, and awkwardly, and still so unsure, I carried my flacid daughter noiselessly to the desolate street. The tears came unceasingly now, and I couldn't help but wonder what in Gods name was happening. What dream was I living in, that I could feel so apart from the situation, despite the weighty and heavy girl I held in my own arms. Nothing seemed to be true, nothing felt as if it existed. It was surreal and horrifying all at the same time, like the nightmare you awake from that you can not possibly begin to understand, but you can't stop trying nonetheless. I wanted to escape, but was trapped, and so I sobbed instead. "Hello?" My voice was hoarse, and barely above a whisper. When I found my expected reply of more silence, I retrieved my will and bellowed again. "HELLO?!" The tone cracked and I shook my head angrily. "Please! Please, I need help!" I realized then that a sentence was too much for my mind and emotions to handle. I shortened it. "HELP!" I fumbled about the dirty Stratford street, my feet waiting to give out and just collapse, but I plugged on, desperate to seek the help of someone, anyone. I hated everything at that moment, hated it all for making me become so helpless, so submissive and unquestioning. I had never been down these roads or avenues before, and couldn't cease the confused and scared emotions coursing through me. I didn't know where to go, who to find. I was completely and utterly lost, in every possible sense of the word. I shifted my weight to my hip as I numbly moved Selene in my grasp. I bellowed again, my voice growing thin, not knowing any other action to take. I had never in my life felt so alone, and if I had been in the right mind to think, I fear I might have fainted. But as it stood, my brained whirled in every direction, refusing to remain stationary. I wished I could have done something more, but I was dumbstruck. I could hardly believe my ears when the sound of carriage wheels crunching on gravel and rocks rang through my fears like angels singing from the heavens. My body swiveled impossibly towards the sound and I watched in ecstacy as a open carriage ambled towards me, a lone driver directing it. I broke out into a trot, yelling as much as I could to the man, silently hoping my prayers had been answered in the presence of this man. "Sir! Sir, please, I need help!" With a free arm I waved psychotically until he caught site of my figure and pulled the reins to a halt. He nodded automatically and took the bundle in my arms mercifully away from me in quiet understanding. "Climb in and hold on." He motioned towards the seat next to him as he cradled my daughter in his large arms. I nodded mutely, my body shaking from fear and relief as the situation was taken partly from my hands. I put faith and trust in this stranger, and didn't question my motives as the buggy started with a jolt and the crack of a whip. "Are you all right?" The voice muddled through my hazy thoughts and I gave him a confused expression and a small blink of uncomprehension. "Are you all right?" He repeated. I nodded slightly, not really sure whether it was true or not, but feeling as if I need some type of reply. He nodded sharply once and turned his attention back to the road. I succumbed to my obliviousness and let the colors around me blur until they were all indistinguishable masses of color, passing me on all sides. I don't remember much else. ***** The next thought I had become aware of was a firm, strong arm enveloping my waist, escorting me once more to the steady earth below the carriage. My feet began to walk, slowly at first, trying hard to stay in pace with the larger male now already through the door of the clinic in front of me. My speed increased every few meters and I regained most caution and the worry returned. The feeling, however unsettling, was welcome as I felt once more in control of myself. I entered the building a few seconds afterwards, the mysterious man awaiting my arrival at another door, this time without my daughter in his embrace. I understood immediately and took a seat at a chair on the far right. A woman in a simple cotton dress entered a moment later, tea cup and warm towel in hand. I thanked her with a simple nod as I accepted the items, only to lay them down on the table next to me. I fidgeted incessantly, my eyes boring unseeingly into the wall fifty feet in front of me. I was mildly aware of the man still standing in the doorway that lead to the examination room, but my mind wasn't ready to approach him at that time. I was still concentrating all my energy and prayers on willing my daughter back to health. "Mrs. Williams?" I was up like a shot at the sound of my name, my eyes rivited on the man who had just entered. He gave me a reassuring grin and a slight nod as he made his way over to me. I felt my shoulders sag, and unbeknownst to me, all the tension seemed to leave my body. "She's going to be fine." I nodded, now fully comprehending my surroundings. I blocked out everything else that filtered from his lips. To me, knowing that she was still in existence was enough. "She's resting, but as soon as her strength is back, I'll release her to your capable care." I nodded once more. "Thank you." The words came out in a rushed breathe of relief, and I sank gratefully into my seat once more. I rung my tired face in my hands and sighed, thanking God each time I inhaled. "Ms. Williams?" My neck snapped to attention and I stared, confused, at the taller gentleman standing in front of me. With a shake of my head and a slight laugh, I smiled. "I'm Darien Jacobson." He gave a small motion towards the door the doctor had just exited from. "I'm happy to hear your daughter will be all right." I nodded, still smiling blissfully. "Thank you so much Mr. Jacobson. For everything." I trailed off, and punctuated the thought with a sigh. "It was really very generous of you to help us out so suddenly." "Not at all." He said, shaking his head fervently. "I would expect nothing less from a human being. I'm just glad it all worked out, and that no serious damage was done." He chuckled. "Besides a small heart attack on your part." I smiled, my whole body weary still. "I wish I could repay you right off hand...." I said, searching behind me for anything I might have inadvertantly brought with me but ultimately coming up empty. I gave a reluctant sigh. "There is absolutely no need, Ms. Williams. I could never take any money for this." He gave me a broad grin, his handsome face lighting up at the action. For the first time, I noticed the man who had become my daughters saviour, my mind now fully ready for a new distraction from the dismounting stress. Under a somewhat askew head of hair, midnight black, I was welcomed by a pair of deep blue eyes, still soft and unassuming, even after the harrowing ordeal we had witnessed. Over 6 feet tall, shoulders broad and muscular, I could tell right away that under the work clothes, now a bit dirty from the buggy ride, was a trim, well built body. I felt a slight blush creep up, the memory of just how close I had been to that body as he helped me from the carriage, seeping unwillingly into my conciousness. He, thankfully, didn't seem to notice. "I insist of showing my gratitude, though." My voice was firm and I let my gaze harden stubbornly on his own. "Come to dinner tomorrow night. I know Selene would absolutely love it, and my husband no doubt will thank to offer his thanks as well." I smiled genuinely then. "I won't take no for an answer." His eyes glowed with a gentle intensity as his face illuminated with another handsome smile. A throaty chuckle erupted and once more my cheeks grew hot as the gaze drew on longer and longer. "Well then, I don't think I can refuse. I'll be there, Ms. Williams." I let a satisfied smile slide onto my lips and my eyes twinkled. "Tomorrow night then." ***** "She's asleep finally." I fell back on the loveseat in the parlor of our home later that evening, my husband standing no more than twenty feet in front of me. I leaned my head against the back and sighed. "I don't understand how you could have let this happen Serena." Came the muffled voice of Harlan and I bristled, my heart pounding in my ears. I could not prepare myself for one of his infamous tirades, and I was afraid that I would no doubt recieve all the blame for the matter. I did feel uncontrollably to blame, but to hear someone else speak it was almost unbearable. "I apologize, Harlan, but with all due respect..." I started timidly, but was almost immediately cut off. "No "buts" Serena. I leave my daughter in your care while I am at work, and I expect that as a mother, you will keep her safe from harm." He shook his head, his false disappoinment dripping from every movemnt. "Is that too much to ask?" The tears welled up inside me and I felt my bottom lip quiver. The guilt and shame felt incredibly binding, and I wanted nothing more than to just explode right then and there. "I am sorry." I couldn't muster much else in reply. I was, for once, at a loss. "You had just better be thankful that Selene is safe..." I nodded in reply. "If it hadn't been for Mr. Jacobson....." I trailed off. Harlan's body tightened, and I sucked in another breath, waiting for the next tantrum to begin. "If you had been more responsible, this would not have happened." He bit out evenly. My whole body stiffened and I knew if I were smart, I would leave it at that. I didn't know how he would react to my news of Mr. Jacobson joining us for supper, but things could only become more severe if I waited too long. I inhaled sharply and decided to take my chances. "Harlan, that reminds me." I cleared my throat as he stared at me with expectant eyes. "I was very indebted to him this afternoon, as you can imagine, and I hadn't any way to really thank him for all he did." He blinked, and I accepted his silence as a good sign and contined. "And so I invited him for dinner tomorrow night." "You did what?" Each word was tempered, and I watched as his eyes grew larger and larger with each syllable, the veins beginning to bulge on the side of his head. I shudder, amazed at the turn the conversation seemed to be taking, without any warning. Each mood he shifted to was more bizarre and inexplainable than the next, and I swallowed hard, not knowing what exactly how to react, but I was sure that no matter which way I chose, it would inevitably be the wrong one. "You invited a complete stranger into our home?" "Harlan, I had no money, and I could not let the man go without thanking him for all his help." I said in defense, standing up straight in an effort. "I can not believe you did not consult with me before you invited someone you have known for no longer than an hour into my home! Have you no intelligence Serena? What if this man is a criminal? What if something should happen during this dinner? Did you even consider such things?" The air whistled as he inhaled loudly through his nose and stared at me, shaking his head, shallow eyes boring into me. "My God Serena, how can you be so unthinking?" I shrunk back automatically, having experienced this one too many times before. "He saved your daughters life! Please Harlan, try to be a little more understanding." I closed my eyes and snapped my mouth shut the second the words left my mouth. I knew the look he must have been shooting at me, and I knew what was to come. "I WILL not reward a man for doing his own civic duty, what would only be expected of any daft idiot who would stumble upon such a situation." His expression fell a bit and his eyes narrowed. "And further more, Serena, I will not have such blatant disrespect in my own home, by my own wife." He stood up suddenly and exhaled sharply. "By your insolence, and yours alone, we have entered into this situation. And I reluctantly agree that because of your idiocy, we can not back out of this engagement." He leaned in towards me, and I held his gaze until my will and confidence gave out and I look away cowardly. "However, so that we are clear on this for future reference...I will not tolerate this behavior from you again." He left without another word. I stared helplessly into the wall before me as I sank slowly to the chair beneath me. Relieved and terrified, I once again let the tears fall. ***** "I can't thank you enough for such a lovely evening." I gave a warm smile to Darien, hoping to make up for the poor treatment from my husbands end of the conversation. I didn't know whether to be embarrassed or thankful that he hadn't said three words during the whole meal. I had hoped, obviously in vain, that he might make an attempt to be gracious. All I had gotten from him were icy glares and few "hmph's" in reply to any question darted at him. The fact that Mr. Jacobson hadn't noticed, or had pretended not to, provided little comfort. Selene and I had been the only source of constant chatter in the whole duration. "It was the least we could do, after all you did the other day. I wish we could have done more." I said sadly, and I blushed as Harlan grunted angrily from the other side of the table. Mr. Jacobson didn't give it a second thought. "Not at all. I'm glad I could give some assistence, if only a little." He grinned back at me, and I let my shoulders relax. I felt very easy around him, and the deep, soulful way he looked at me made my nerves calm. I felt very confident and at home, something I hadn't experienced since I was an adolescent, long before I had stumbled into this marriage. "It was an unfortunate accident, and it was lucky you were there." I stated matter-of-factly. Harlan snorted, and for once, we both cast glances towards the glaring blonde, my expression a bit more tentative than his. "Perhaps if you had been a bit less careless, Serena, the "unfortunate accident" might never have occured." He kept his eyes on his plate as he carefully folded his napkin, in a false attempt at ambivolence. I blushed furiously, and stared down into my lap, humiliated once more. What had I been thinking? Did I really expect Harlan to be a gentleman for once? Especially when forced him into this in the first place? "Mr. Williams, I believe your wife, was doing the best she could. When I found her, she was extremely shaken and disturbed. It would have obvious to even the most lame idiots how worried she was." The darker man shot back evenly, not waiting for Harlan to even address him. My jaw dropped and the crimson on my cheeks deepened. "It was, as you both said, an accident." "I believe I am a bit more aquainted with my family than you are, Mr Jacobson. And Serena has been careless since the day Selene was born. Perhaps if I had been home-" "If you had been home, nothing would have happened any differently, and I would put money on that. Serena has done what any caring mother would and could do." Darien cut Harlan off mid-sentence, and I felt my head go light. No one ever dared cross Harlan. He was a pistol, and had a temper that could blow even the strongest willed men clear across the room. I watched in horror as Darien and Harlan locked gazes, neither man budging an inch. "A cat is a better mother than she is." Once more the tears wanted to show themselves, but I was too engrossed in the conversation to give them any heed. The idea that a man I hardly knew would defend my honor enthralled me and I couldn't fight the bliss that began to well inside me. Never in my life had I witnessed such selflessness, and on my behalf. It was impossible, despite being right in front of my eyes. "She is a wonderful mother, and I think that if you were to spend more time with your family, where you should be, and less time wrapped in your own trivial affairs, you might not be so blind to such things. I am a virtual stranger and I know her-" "Exactly! You are a stranger, and yet you pretend to know all about me and my family!" It was Harlan's turn to interject and he stood up, boring down on the taller, stronger man at the other end. "I don't need to know you personally. I know your type, Mr. Williams -- disrespectful, cold, selfish, abusive and suffocating. You are the worst kind of human being to become a father." Darien bit out, rising also from his seat. My head shot from side to side, watching the fight ensue and I couldn't think of any possible way to stop it without getting myself into an even larger mess. So I sat silently, amazed. "The fact that a single, uneducated man, 20 years my junior, would give me parenting advice is laughable! I should give you-" "Daddy?" Three heads whirled in the direction of the stairs, where a sleepy-eyed Selene stood, yawning and stretching, oblivious to argument occurring right before her eyes. I swallowed anxiously as Harlan immediately took up the responsibilty of retrieving her, ending the discussion with that. "You should leave...." I said, tapping Mr. Jacobson, still standing near the table, his gaze set in deep thought. He look down at me and the hardness melted from his face like butter. He nodded and gathered up his coat and followed me towards the door. ***** "I really must apologize for the behavior of my husband." I stared hard down at the concrete steps, once I had shut the door behind me, and the both of us were in the privacy of the open Stratford air. "He isn't normally so rude to guests." He nodded slightly. "I accept, but I somehow get the feeling that Mr. Harlan Williams isn't the welcoming type." I kept my mouth shut. "It was a wonderful dinner, nonetheless though." He chuckled slightly. "Up until the last 10 minutes, of course." He caught my eyes and gave me that beautiful grin of his, and the anxiety ran free from my veins. I gave a slight blush. "Well, I felt it was necessary. I don't know what I would have done without your help yesterday. I really do owe you a lot more than dinner. However, I'm afraid...." I gave a small, inaudible shudder as my eyes darted towards the house. He nodded in understanding. "Of course. It was really nice to see you again, Ms. Williams." His smile replaced an almost fleeting look of an unintelligible emotion. Regret? Disappointment, perhaps? "And you as well, Mr. Jacobson." I replied warmly, the blush still present. "I rather enjoyed your company. It was very refreshing being able to have a real conversation with someone." I just returned the statement with a broad grin, and he held my content gaze for a while, my pulse picking up as the seconds ticked on. It was obscene, and I must have looked ridiculous, but I didn't want to look away, despite the uneasiness growing around me. But within a moment, it was gone, and he had retreated to the step below me. He turned back and once more he graced me with that beautiful, heart stopping smile. "Take good care of yourself, Ms. Williams." His voice was low, a slight tinge of reluctance filtering through the night breeze. And before I could react, he took my hand in his, raising it slowly to his mouth. I held my breath in shock and disbelief, my mind stopping everything else in my body in those few seconds, his lips tenderly pressed against my flesh. I inhaled. It was over before I had to change to even consider doing anything, and I blinked in order to clear the image from my eyes, but I couldn't shake it from my brain. His eyes gazed out at me from wispy strands of hair, and I felt my hand freeze in place as he held it in his own, and I almost imagined I could feel his very life's blood coursing through his veins. "For the life of me, I will never understand how a man like Harlan ever got a woman like you." He gave me that honest, broad smile once more, as if he really had no idea what he had done to me. "Good night." I watched him retreat without another look back. No words formed in my mouth, but my hand was still poised in the position he left it. My eyes were wide and my throat was dry, and the only thought that I could even begin to muster up was how desperately I wanted to see him again. ***************************************** OK, a few things that MUST be said - This is a re-re-write. I've written it like, 4 times by now. And I REALLY am displeased with it. But I refuse to do it again. *L* Sue me, I'm lazy. Anywho, this isn't the greatest thing I've ever done, but I LOVE Volume 2 - I put my heart and soul into it, and I think it shows. Anyway, AN's are long and at the top. Read those for the low-down. slr_europa@yahoo.com http://www.geocities.com/slr_europa AIM :: SeeShelliRun