Bio: Little is known about his history. Rumour has it that he was raised by dolphins in Northport Harbor and trained to be Flipper's human assistant. Chris was the 1999 Summer Champion of Home Run Derby but then mysteriously lost all of his power during sophomore year. He is an avid collector of running faucets (as any collector should be) and his running faucet collection will be worth a lot some day, especially if they are still running. He has a car named Olivia, who is getting so old that she has a good luck turtle inside her. He has a keen sense for sketchy activities and have been used by police in the role of a sketchy-sniffing dog. He works for the 2nd largest beverage corporation in the world (whose main beverage was created "at the turn of the century" and was originally called "brad's drink") and has a knack for "accidentally' breaking glasses made by the first largest non-alcoholic beverage manufacturer, marketer and distributer. He enjoys editing pictures in Adobe Photoshop and creating nude pictures and then censoring them. The people at the chicken parm place know his voice and give him the Student Advantage Discount without him even having to show his card. In his spare time Chris owns a horse stable and races his thoroughbreds at major NY racetracks and also is a Chippendale dancer. He's also a foot model, his favorite TV show is Full House and he likes to play with Barbie Dolls.
This is Chris sleeping in his dorm room. It was not him posing in a picture pretending to be homeless.
This is Chris exposing himself to homeless people on the streets of Philadelphia. This is one of his favorite activities.
This picture will be coming soon. Believe it or not but Chris doesn't have too many pictures of himself, besides the pictures from all of his modeling jobs and magazine covers. However he can't use these pictures because he doesn't own the copyrights to them.
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