~*~Chapter 8~*~
A few hours later, the Hogwarts Express slowed to a halt and the conductor searched the train for its only two passengers.
"Heylo...? Anybody in here?"
He had gone through 142 compartments, so far, unseccessful; by this time, aggrivation was accumulating.
"Here you are!"
He scolded himself for not starting at the back in the first place, remembering his own school days when sitting anywhere near the front was considered 'uncool'.
He saw that they were fast asleep; a small red-headed girl laying on the seat and an older boy, whom he recognized as the minister's son, James Potter, sprawled out on the floor, arms and legs reaching out to all diagonals.
"Wake up sleepy heads."
Lily awoke first, remembered where she was, then kicked James without hesitant sympathy.
He woke with a start. "Where's the fire!?" He yelled for the second time that day.
Lily snorted. "Do you always have to scream that when someone wakes you up?"
"I guess so."
"Your poor mother." She looked up. "Lord, help her."
James swatted his hand through the air dismissively. "Naw, she loves me."
The conductor chuckled. "Well, we're here, so follow me and I'll lead you to your carriage."
"Ok...Frederick." James paused to read his name tag.
"Call me Fred. Those darn people at the Conductor Lisence Registration Office -- Can't get it through their thick heads that my legal name isn't Fredrick. It's just Fred. They must naturally assume that if you're called 'Fred', your legal name must be longer." He rolled his eyes, signifying stupidity. "I mean, how hard is that to understand? -- At least they didn't give me 'Ferdinand'. Now that would be bad."
James laughed and said to Lily, "Remus and Sirius would really like this guy."
Fred overheard him. "Remus and Sirius, eh? So it's you who permanently claimed your compartment last year!" He exclaimed triumphantly, as though he just solved a Sherlock Holmes mystery.
Snickering, James recalled going home from Hogwarts in June when he and his friends wrote 'JAMES, SIRIUS, AND REMUS' COMPARTMENT!!!' in huge, bold letters on the door.
"I admit," Fred continued. "You really got me on that one. I can't get it to come off! -- Tried every darn spell in the book too."
James burst out laughing, not catching Fred giving him a weird glace as the train door was opened.
"Well, their's your carriage right to the left. I'll see you in your compartment in September."
They waved in farewell and climbed into the non-horsedrawn carriage, suspended inches from the ground and surrounded by what looked like an array of glitter.
"I can't believe I'm back here...again...so soon." James wrinkled his far in semi-disgust. "What a way to spend the summer, huh?"
"I love it here," she crooned, eyes huge, nose pressed against the window.
James' expression got even worse. "Don't sound so eager. Mid-October and you'll be sick of it, guaranteed."
Lily either chose to ignore him or was so immersed in her surroundings that she didn't even hear him; after a short pause, she breathed, "I love it here."
James dazedly rolled his eyes at her repitition, clearly thinking she was insane.
As Lily stepped out of the carriage, she asked, "James, how do you get your little 'sign' off the compartment door? I know you weren't just laughing back there for nothing."
He smirked, holding the entrance door open for her. "Yeah... Fred's not too swift. If he'd just put his wand away and use soap and water, it'd come right off."
Lily shook her head disbelievingly. "As much as I hate to admit it, that was pretty slick. No idiot would writing in something washable, at least, that's the adult's thinking..."
"So we do just that," said James. "Check it out." He pulled what looked like an ordinary muggle Sharpie, only with a different label, out of his pant pocket.
"Confuddle Pen?" She read, raised her eyes to his.
"Don't ask. That was Peter's stroke of brilliance. He did give us the original idea though, so..." He shrugged. "Pretty good invention. I give him credit. It's totally spell resistan; rubs off in soap and water."
"Do you have more?"
He pulled out another.
"Good!" She nicked it out of his hand. "This could prove to be very useful."
After five minutes, they eventually made it up the entrance stairs. James, of course, had to dramatize the scene. It went from simple stair-walking to a trecherous, slope-climbing excursion, complete with James collapsing at the summit, displaying his body on the floor as if he were ready to be embalmed.
It didn't even dawn on them how late in the evening it was until they walked through the Great Hall. Candles were dimly lit, arranged in the patterns of various constellations, helping the full moon illuminate the abysmal sky. James took one look above him and sighed.
After a hearty supper -- well, more like midnight snack -- Filch came up behind them and prodded them in the back with a metal bar.
"Get a move on you two," he croaked, threatening to swat them with the cane.
James, mouth stuffed with food, held up two chicken wings and a corn on the cob. "But I'm still --"
"-- Yes, Mr. Filch, we are finished eating." Lily slapped James on the back for being so stupid, causing him to choke on his chicken.
Filch didn't wait for them; he hobbled down the Great Hall, leaving his cat, Mrs. Norris, behind to keep watch on them.
"C'mon James. Getting on Filch's bad side out first day back really isn't a great idea."
"We're always on his bad side," said James sensibly.
"You're always on his bad side. I happen to have a fairly clean record so far, thank you very much."
"Good point."
"Gracias, so try to keep yourself in line -- At least, when Filch is around."
"Oh, you know me! Mr. Future Head Boy."
"You keep prayin' pal." She laughed.
Filch clunked his cane roughly on the floor 20 minutes later when he saw them approaching. "About time you heathens showed up!" He growled. "I thought you'd been eaten by a disastrous, run-away hippogryff. Don't get my hopes up!"
Lily gasped, taken-aback as James threw him a fast comeback. "Sorry," he drawled slowly and sarcastically. "A couple of the paintings stopped us in the hallway; they were hacking up a storm because this place is so sickeningly dirty."
At this, Filch snarled and marched off in the other direction to look for some wheezing portraits.
After he left, Lily said, "James, you do realize he didn't leave us the password, don't you?"
"Right..."
"And I don't think he's too keen to give it to us after you told him off just a minute ago," she continued, tapping her foot impatiently. "So?!... What now?"
"Start guessing passwords," he said.
"Oh, brilliant plan, genious. Why don't we ask her?"
"Be my guest."
Lily poked the Fat Lady on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Ma'am?"
"Well?" She burst.
"Well, what?" Lily backfired, just as rudely.
"Password?!"
Lily glared at her with distaste. She never remembered the Fat Lady being this mean and impolite. "We want to ask --"
"Asking questions is why you have teachers and classes! Now do you have the password or not? I'd like it sometime this year so I can return to my siesta, which you so brainlessly interrupted."
"Oh!" Lily huffed, friendly emotion for the woman now completely lost.
"Excuse me, Ma'am, but, as you can probably tell, we're here very early and Filch so unkindly refused to give us the password," James explained.
"Ha! Likely story!"
"It's the truth!" Lily shouted.
"Don't you remember us from last year?" James asked calmly.
"Why, of course I do! -- At least, I remember your alias..."
"Our alias!?"
The Fat Lady crouched over to their height and placed a pair of spectacles on her nose, inspecting them both intently, every once in a while murmurring "Hmmm..."
All of a sudden, her eyes got so huge they almost popped out of the picture frame; she cried out gloriously, "Ha! I knew it!" Her hand flew to the front of Lily's nose. "I knew it!" She repeated. "The wearing away of a polyjuice potion! You're trying to sneak in! You can't fool me!"
Lily quickly covered her nose with her hand, her face reddening like a cherry.
"What!?" James yelled. "What is it, Lily?"
She removed her hands from her face and heard James let out a loud sigh of exhasperation.
"Merlin's Beard! The wearing away of a polyjuice potion!? Give me a break! It's a pimple for God's sake!"
The surrounded pictures started giggling and Lily glared at him for announcing to the world that she had a pimple.
"Mine eyes do not lie," she replied cooly. "And who's the smart, educated one here?"
James raised his hand to object, but she carried on.
"So I thought. Me. Therefore, no password, no common room. So, I'd come up with an alternate plan if I were you." She began fanning herself and smiled as if nothing had happened.
"Start guessing passwords then, I suppose," Lily said after a few seconds of staring menacingly at the Fat Lady.
James shrugged, not knowing what else to do. "Ok... chocolate frog."
The Fat Lady yawned.
"Fizzing Whizbees?"
Her eyes closed.
"How about pumpkin juice?"
A loud, yet fake snore erupted from the Fat Lady's mouth.
"I will so get Filch back for this," James clenched his fists.
"And I'll help. What a terrible man..." Her hand self-conciously swiped her nose before their guessing game resumed.
The two of them stood there, making failed attempts at the password for a half an hours, naming candy, spells, insults, and even every witch and wizard on chocolate frogs that they could think of.
"Hippogryff."
"Cornish pixie."
"Hippocampus."
"Boggart."
"James," Lily felt like screaming. "We've named about every creature I've ever heard of. We'll go through one more topic and then I give up. The Great Hall sounds nice and cozy right about now."
"Agreed. How about phobias?"
"Phobias?! Where'd you get a ridiculous idea like that?"
"Yeah, phobias," he beamed as if it were the greatest idea in the history of mankind. "Obviously Filch is being a bugger and doesn't want us in. He probably picked one of the most complicated words in human vocabulary."
"O-k," she said slowly. "Arachnophobia?"
The Fat Lady woke with a start. "Spiders? Where!?" She then calmed right back down and stared at them.
"Psychadelaphobia?"
The portrait's eye brows raised. "A little far-fetched, wouldn't you say?"
"Didaskaleinophobia?" James supplied.
"Fear of school, eh? I think not."
Lily groaned loudly. "I don't know any more phobias. How about you?"
"I know one more, but I doubt it's in the password. Filch couldn't pronounce it to save his life."
"Well, by all means, go for it. It's not like we're low on oxygen. In fact, mine's almost to overflowing, and I'd like to let it all out at a certain caretaker the next time I see him, punishment or no..."
"Lily, you're scaring me." He took a step back at the ferocious expression she wore.
"Just say the word..."
James took a long, deep breath. "Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia."
The protrait's eyes bulged. "Impressive!" She announced and swung open, revealing a door leading to a round, scarlet living room.
Lily closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in the sweet aroma of common room warmth. "It's good to be home."
"Yeah, but it'd be nice if it were start of term though. It's going to be really boring if we're stuck here for a long time."
"Boring? You're off your rocker. All alone in Hogwarts! The library is calling me; and there's so many places in this castle we've never been to. We could have a lot of fun exploring this place."
His expression changed as he thought about all the excitment Hogwarts offered without constant supervision. "You're right. We can make this fun. -- I just hope I hear from my dad soon. He has me really worried. You don't know what I saw before I found Dumbledore; it was awful."
Lily clapped him on the back sportingly , leading him through the common room to a chair by the fire. "Don't ya worry, 'ol chap!" She punched the air like she was boxing. "Your papa's the head auror and Minister of Magic! He can take anyone out."
"You're right, as always. I need to stop moping around and do something to get my mind off him. I can just hope."
"That's the spirit! Now, what's on the agenda tomorrow, Potter?"
"I say a little mischief-making is in order. -- Prank plotting for when Malfoy and his cronies get here... show 'em what we're made of. What d'ya say?" He patted his wand suggestively.
Lily was just about to agree when there was a loud noise, like the crack of a whip, and a roll of parchment appeared before them, suspended in the air by a tuft of fog.
"What's this?"
"Open it," James tossed it to her, as if he could care less of its contents.
"Great, it's from our favorite person," Lily announced after scanning the letter. "No James," said she, after seeing him smile with enthusiasm. "Take note of the sarcasm there."
"Ahh..."
She heard him sigh and continued.
"To Evans and Potter. From Argus Filch. Re: Insufferable Hooligan-ism."
James laughed. "Ooh, big words for a caretaker."
Acting as if she were ignoring him, she said, "Continuing --
Potter and Evans:
It has come to my attention that Hogwarts will be housing you for a time before the start of term. Therefore, a set of ground rules is in order, and you can rest assured there will be serious punishment for the breaking of the rules. (Please note that it is not technically school term, so I can legally put the detention wrist chains to some use if need be.) Keep in mind, these are rules, not guidelines!
RULES:
1) Forbidden Forest is strictly off-limits.
2) Moaning Myrtle's bathroom is flooding -- No admittance permitted.
3) Must remain on ground at all times unless told otherwise.
4) Spell-testing on statues prohibited.
5) Do not provoke portraits, and that includes tickling them!"
James snorted. "Like he thinks he's going to keep us out of the kitchens. Ha! In his dreams."
After a whithering glare from Lily, he shut up without question.
"Now that you've so curteously closed your mouth --
6) Permission is required before entry on the quidditch pitch, and if you can't find me, tough luck.
7) No walking, talking, befriending, plotting, or fraternizing with school poltergeists. Namely: Peeves.
8) Wand practice is permitted in 4th floor empty classrooms only.
9) Potion practice ONLY in dungeons with a supervising adult or ghost. (Peeves is the exception.)
10) Belittling caretaker: Absolutely forbidden.
11) No romantic activity
12) No dueling
13) No flying brooms in corridors
14) A safety charm must be placed on lake before swimming
15) Pranking prohibited
16) No slamming portraits closed as it shakes the portrait occupant to the point of no return.
17) No breaking the rules!!!"
"...Yadda yadda yadda... Is that all?" James impatiently drummed his fingers on the chair's arm rest.
"And last, but not least,
18) The destruction, alteration, belittlement, and loophole-ing of rules is strictly warned."
As soon as Lily set the parchment down, it flew up, enlarged its size to that of a portrait and plastered itself to a wall, making it impossible for them to walk by and not see it.
"Oh bravo," James droned. "I give Filch a whole 10 points for thinking that up and getting someone to charm the parchment for him."
"What are you talking about? Of course he didn't. There's no reason he can't do it himself."
"There's a huge reason he can't do it himself. Filch..." He paused for dramatic effect. "...Is a squib."
"Oh for heaven's sake, James! Where do you get nieve ideas like that? He is not a squib."
"He most certainly is. At least, there's no other explination for it."
"How so?"
"Well for one, Sirius and I have had to copy the school student archives numerous times for detentions. -- Archives that go back over 80 years. Not once is tehre an 'Argus Filch' listed."
Lily rolled her eyes. "Maybe he didn't go to Howarts! I mean, there must be other magical schools out there."
"No." He dismissed that statement like it was no major fact. "He'd have gone to Hogwarts. And his wand, he doesn't have one. We've searched his office during two detentions, and for a week, everytime I was near him I did the summoning charm. No wand ever flew out."
"Are you sure you can even do a summoning charm, James?"
He looked at her as if she were an alien life form. "Of course I can! Accio textbook," he said lazily, and it came flying into his hands expertly. "Believe me now?"
She gave him a surrendering look and said, "Fine fine. I believe you. It's just strange to think of a squib working at Hogwarts."
That concluded the argument and within seconds, James had summoned a chess board, just to show off, and they were absorbed in destroying eachother's pieces.
Three hours later, James cried "Checkmate!" while watching his rook, knight, and bishop attack Lily's king. He started doing a victory dance and singing "I beat you! I beat you!"
"Whatever James. You took advantage of my poor, tired brain." She yawned widely, almost catching a fly in the process, much to the amusment of James. "We'll play again when I'm actually awake and my mind is fully functional."
"I can beat you anytime, anywhere. You actually had the advantage because I let you go first, so ha! But, how about a rematch tomorrow, Lils?"
Silence.
He turned around. "Lily? -- Oh, oops."
She was already sound asleep on the sofa, a wicked grin spread across her face.
"Woah," said James when he saw her expression. He shrugged and started walking up the stairs, muttering to himself. "Can't do a summoning charm... yeah right. -- Accio Lily."
She floated up the stairs, right into his arms, and he took her into her dorm to sleep.
The next morning, dawn broke the night as silently as a dove's crooning; James broke the sullenness as ungracefullly as the crack of a whip, much to Lily's avail...
"Quidditch practice!"
"AHH!" The disturbance of the silence woke Lily with a start. "For the love of God, get out of the girl's dorm, James!" She growled, hexing him sneakily.
He didn't even notice she had made his hair look like Severus'. "It's time for quidditch practice!"
A long, stretched yawn gave a display of Lily's supposed ignorance of the situation. "Good good. I guess you had better get down to the pitch before you're late."
"Indeed..."
It wasn't until the sound of James tapping his foot impatiently echoed around the room that Lily woke to a fully conscious state.
It wasn't until the sound of James tapping his foot impatiently echoed around the room that Lily woke to a fully conscious state.
"Fine, you win, you aggrivating brown-noser. Give me a couple minutes to change and do my hair."
"You won't need a couple minutes," he droned insolently. With a wave of his wand, there was a snap, and he laughed when Lily shrieked at seeing that her clothes has magically changed.
"Show off," she murmured, giving him a playful blow with her broomstick. "Don't we need permission to go on the pitch?"
"Don't worry, I've got it." He slid down the stair banister. "By the way, here's your breakfast."
Lily caught the large bran muffin that was chucked at her. "You do? Filch much have been in a really good mood to have given that to you."
"Oh no. McGonagall was in the library picking up a book to read over the summer, so she gave me permission."
"Lucky duck."
~~~~~~
The quidditch pitch welcomed them with a cool breeze and shining sun, much to James' disappointment.
"Darn... it's not good practice if it's in perfect conditions! The real challange is playing in a monsoon, or something like that. Not sun."
Lily stopped walking and dramatically turned to him. "James -- I have never met anyone with crazier ideas in my life... Only you would want that kind of weather. But, if you insist, I promise you that if I don't make the team, I'll prank some of your quidditch matches to make it hail golf balls and be plagued with locusts. We'll see how well you can play in that." She winked jokingly.
"Speaking of pranks... I've been thinking of what we can do to disrupt the peace and harmony of the school yeah." His lips grinned hintingly.
"Oh no way! I would never have thought you'd want to do something like that!" She was practically drooling sarcasm. "What's on the agenda this year?"
"Well, I have a start-of-term 'welcome' that'll absolutely knock your socks off!"
After a careful explination of his plan, Lily added, "James, that is classic! Where'd you come up with an idea like that?"
He grinned, loving how she was laughing openly. "Well, the song is always saying the same thing basically, and it gets dull; there's nothing wrong with...spicing it up a little."
"Have you told the others about this plan of yours?"
"No, not yet. The idea came to me last night actually. I'm planning on owling them today, asking them to help write it."
"Don't!" Lily blurted, waving her hands pleadingly.
James looked confused. "Why not? I always let them in on my pranks. They're my best buds."
"Just please don't tell them about this one. Let's surprise them! It'll be a lot of fun." She paused to add dramatic effect and plastered herself with her persuasive face. "Please?"
He had to think about it for a while; after all, he'd never pursued a prank without letting his friends in on it.
"Do you really think we can do this on our own? Last year, they helped with the spell and acted as a lookout. We're gonna need them. Trust me, if there's anything worse than getting caught, it's getting caught and it not even being worth it because the prank didn't work."
He took a breath, surveying his surroundings. In the last few minutes, they had slowly and obliviously drifted from the ground to 50 feet in the air, all the way on the other side of the pitch. Lily was subconscioussly twirling her beaters bat like a majorette baton while he tossed the quaffle in the air every now and again.
"Of course we could do it alone, James!" You, the charms master-mind, can do all neccessary spell-word, no problem. You've got a month to prefect the spells. While you do that, I'll engorge my brain nto the writing. I'll do a great job. I mean, hw hard can it be insulting our enemies and boasting our own qualities in poetic form? It'd be fun! Don't you think?"
"Well..."
"Oh come on! Please? I want to see their surprised reactions for once!"
Her persistance was intriguing to him. Most people just gave up to anything he wanted.
"Ok, you win. I won't utter a word," he promised.
"Great!" Her face lit up, and she hit her hand with her bat threateningly, much like one would when urging on a battle. "Now, let's play some real quidditch!"
In a split second, she lunged forward on her broom and knocked the quaffle out of his arms, laughing tauntingly. "Who's the better player now, huh Potter?" She winked and sent a bludger hurtling past his right ear.
"Oh, the game's on now, Evans!" He yelled, and chased after her with all of his speed.
After roughly an hour of playing, Lily realized why James hadn't made the Quidditch team last year -- To be frank, he hd little talent as of this point. He seemed pretty good at Steep-Ridge Resort, but then again, he was playing along-side Jereon Vonneli. Playing with him creates an inspirational aura that can make any look good.
He was absolutely worn out by the time she had just broken a sweat.
And he's always boasting about how much in chape he is, Lily thought. What a fibber.
"Lily..." He panted heavily, drifting next to her, low to the ground. "It's hot, I'm tired -- I think it's time for a break. Water sounds heavenly right about now."
"Wuss," she breathed quietly, but loud enough for him to hear.
"Am...not..." His words were still coming out in huffed, forced breaths.
"Whatever. Since you're so aerobically drained, let's just quit for the day. Seeing as I was thrown out of my bed during the freakishly early hours of daylight, I could do with an extended mid-day nap."
James looked like a starving squirrel that had just found a dropped peanut in the winter; the relief on his face made Lily laugh.
"By the looks of it, you could do with one too." She giggled girlishly.
"Hey, don't be making fun of my physique," he said.
"Physique my rear-end."
"Don't complain, it's nicer than most..." He teased, winking.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that -- for your sake."
Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw James try to hide a smirk from her. Evidently, he thought his egotystical comment was very funny.
"James," Lily drawled in a sweet tone, hiding a speck of mischief in her voice.
"Yeah?" He, of course, didn't suspect anything from her, even though it was an odd moment; he just continued his slow strut back to the castle, broomstick in hand like a trophy.
"I wanted to ask you about this before we played quidditch, but I needed to stay focused so..."
"What?"
"When did you decide to change your hairstyle?"
"Change it? I've had it the same way since I was five."
"I don't think so. Here." She conjured up a mirror and bgan sprinting up to the castle while yelling, "I really don't think the Snape-Style works for you!"
Chapter 7 ~~~~~ Chapter9
Home