Blonde Jokes
What can strike a blonde without them even knowing it?
A thought
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the hatch.
How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
Type "please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
They can't remember the number.
Why does a blonde drive a BMW?
Cuz she can spell it.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Because she threw out all the W's.
How do you confuse a blonde?
You don't. They're born that way.
Why don't blondes talk while having sex?
Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.
How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave at her.
What's the difference between a blonde and a bottle of beer?
The beer doesn't get jealous if you have another.
Why don't blondes know how to write the number 11?
They don't know which "1" comes first.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. Blondes are good at screwing things.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
Is it mine?
What does a blonde and a computer have in common?
You never appreciate either one until they go down on you.
What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial intelligence.
How is a blonde like a doorknob?
Everyone gets a turn.
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.
Why don't blondes like vibrators?
They're hard on their teeth.
Why did God create blondes?
Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The DJ was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was mad enough she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car, jumped out and yelled, "You bimbo, it's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you."
Why did the blonde have to drink a warm pepsi?
Because she couldn't fit any ice into the bottle.
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