I don�t know what time we got to bed but we all woke up unreasonably early the next morning (like 8:30!), probably because the previous days had already conditioned us into perfectly sleepless zombies. Jack had to go to work at Osco (that boy spends more time working than Bob spends goofing off, somehow) but we needed to take him back with us to Kansas City, so we waited around for a few hours watching the Critic (what a fine show! Should never have been cancelled) and other great cartoons. Earlier, Vic had wanted to get in touch with some girl he had met last night, so Jack helped him find her phone number, but told him a) not to call her right away (since it was so early) and b) not to call her from Jack�s personal phone, but from the communal phone in the hallway. So of course, ten minutes later when Jack had left, Vic not only called her up from Jack�s phone but also gave her Jack�s number and told her to call him back sometime. So his private number is probably scribbled up on a girls� restroom somewhere by now. Meanwhile, Jon Akers decided he needed to shave. Keep in mind that at 20 years of age, Jon has grown probably two hairs on his face, ever. So he decided to go shave, the only real reason being that he wants to use Jack�s razor. I wouldn�t be surprised if Jack never lets us come visit again.

Bob and I drove to the Columbia Mall, proud home to about twelve shops, seven of them overpriced music stores. There was a pretty elaborate gumball machine that had slides and springs and lots of fun stuff to watch, though once I got the gumball I didn�t really want it. I think I left it somewhere in Jack�s room� maybe it rolled off into a corner under some old Maxim magazines where it could start a family of its own. As afternoon rolled around Vic came back from wandering and went to sleep completely submerged in a sleeping bag. When he does this, he disappears and you�d probably step on him if you didn�t already know he was there. I�m not even sure how he breathes when he does this � maybe he doesn�t, stranger things have happened. Eventually Jack showed up, and we piled into our cars and headed home.

The reason we had to pick up Jack (and the reason we had to be back today) was that we were celebrating both his and Vic�s birthdays back in town. So we met up with our families (who were shocked to see us alive) at Fuji�s, a Japanese Steakhouse. Japanese food is good food. That was all fine and good, but the REAL reason we�d chosen today was because another party was brewing in Lawrence � this one a quadruple surprise party, for those two and two of our other friends. So we took them to Lawrence where they were aptly surprised. I�d love to tell you about how great the party was, but the fact that I can�t remember most of it should speak for itself.

So that was our road trip. We began in a blizzard of uncertainty on I-70 and ended in the comforting drunken stupor of Bob�s apartment; and along the way, we made new friends, new enemies, found joys among the lands east of the Mississippi, and maybe, just maybe, we might have found ourselves. Wait� no we didn�t, scratch that last part. But it was a hell of a way to spend a week of winter break.