halloween humour

Halloween Party.

A couple was invited to a swanky Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He the devoted husband, protested, but she argued saying she was going to take some asprin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.

So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for an hour awakened, without any pain and it was still early, so she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what costume she was, she thought it would be good fun watching her husband to see how he acted when she wasn't with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping for a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and with being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner hign and dry to devote his time to his new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. Finally, he whispered a little propostion in her ear and she agreed, so they went off to one of the cars had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got in bed.

Wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behaviour. She was sitting up reading when her husband came in and she asked what kind of time he had.

He said, "Oh, the same old thing. you know I never enjoy myself when your now with me."

Then she asked, " Did you dance much?"

He replied, " I tell you, I ever even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But your never going to beleive what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to!"

xxx

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The Pumpkin Patch.

Police arrested Patrick Lawence, a 22 year ols white male from Dacula , GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11.39pm. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect alledgedly stated that he was just passing the pumpkin patch, just decided to stop.

"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, much like...well you know what...and there was no one around for miles. Or at least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from jail.

Laurence went on to state that he pulled on to the side of the road, picked out a pretty pumpkin that he felt was appropriate for his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded so satisfy his alleged "need."

" I guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Laurence apparently failed to notice the Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

" It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
" I walked up to (Laurence) and he's .....just working away at his pumpkin."
Taylor wemt on to describe what then happened when she approached Laurence.
"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realise your screwing a pumpkin?'

He got a real surprise as you'd expect, then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? ....damn.... is it midnight already?"'