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| Fitness Program for Dog Owners You've seen those ads on those ads on TV promising amazing results from all sorts of contraptions. Well, there's no need to invest in fancy equipment. If you have (or can borrow) a dog, you have everything you need to get in shape now!!! The following exercises and be done anytime, anywhere. Inner Thighs: Place the dogs favourite toy between your thighs. Press tighter than the dog can pull. Do not attempt bare legged - dogs who favour short cuts to success will just dig the toy out. You could be damaged. Upper Body Strength: Lift the dog - off the couch, off the bed, out of the flower bed. Repeat, repeat, repeat. As the dog ages this exercise is reversed - onto the couch, onto the bed, in the car and so on. Balance and Coordination: Practise not falling when your dog bounds across the full length of the room, sails through the air, and slams both front paws into the backs of your knees. Upper Arms: Throw the ball. Throw the squeaky toy. Throw the frisbee. Repeat until nauseous. Upper Arms (Alternate): Tug the rope. Tug the pull toy. Tug the sock. Repeat until your shoulder is dislocated or until the dog gives up (we all know which comes first). Calves: After the dog has worn out the rest of your body, hang a circular toy on your ankle and let the dog tug while you tug back. WARNING: This is only feasable only for thos who have strong bones and small dogs. Have you taken your calcium supplement today? Neck Muscles: Attempt to outmaneuver the canine tongue headed for your ear, mouth, or eyeball. This is a lifelong fitness program. A dog is never too old or feeble to "French Kiss" when you least expect it. |
| Exercise For The Real Life The doctor told me "Physical exercise is good for you". I know I should do it, but my body is so out of shape, so I have worked out this easy daily program I can do anywhere. Monday: Beat around the bush. Jump to conclusions. Climb the walls. Wade through paperwork Tuesday: Drag my heels. Push my luck. Make mountains out of mole hills. Hit the nail on the head. Wednesday: Bend over backwards. Jump on the band wagon. Balance the books. run around in circles. Thursday: Toot my own horn. Climb the ladder of success. Pull out the stops. Add more fuel to the fire. Friday: Open a can of worms. Put my foot in my mouth. Start the ball rolling. Go over the edge. Saturday: Pick up the pieces. Phew! What a great workout! |
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