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Did you hear about the guy who tried every diet within the world in an attempt to lose weight? He tried the Scarsdale Diet, The Navy Diet, Weight Watchers, etc. and non worked. He was reading the paper one day when he noticed a small ad that read, " Lose weight �1.00 a pound." And simply listed a telephone number. Having little to lose the man called the number. The voice on the other end asked, "How much weight would you like to lose?" To which the man responded, "Ten pounds." The voice replied, " Very well, put your cheque in the mail and we will send a representative to your house in the morning." About 9am the next morning the man gets a knock at the door. There stood a beautiful redheaded woman, completely naked apart from a sign around her neck stating, "If you catch me you can screw me." Well the overweight fellow chased her upstairs, downsatairs, over the sofas, in the kitchen, all around the house. Finally he did catch her and when he was through with enjoying himself she said, "Quick go into the bathroom and weigh yourself." He did just that and was amazed to find that he lost 10 pounds, right to the ounce! That evening he called the number again. The voice on the other end asked, " How much weight do you want to lose?" To which the somewhat less overweight man replied, " 20 pounds." "Very well", says the voice on the phone and told him, " Put your cheque in the mail and we will send a representative to your home in the morning." About 8am the next morning the man receives a knock at the door. There stood a beautiful blond hair woman wearing only track shoes and a sign around her neck stating, " If you catch me you can screw me." The chase did take a little longer but finally the man did catch her. When he was through she told him, " Quick go to the bathroom and weigh yourself!" He ran to the bathroom and sure enough he lost another 20 pounds. "This is fantastic!" He thought to himself. Later that evening he calls the number again. Ant the voice on the other end asked, " How much weight do you like to lose?" "Fifty pounds" the man exclaimed. "Fifty pounds?" the voice asked. "That's an aweful amount to lose in one time." The overweight man replied, " My cheques in the mail just make sure you send your representative to my house in the morning." Then he hung up the phone. About 6am the next morning the man gets out of bed and gets himself all fancied up ready for the next representative. At 7am the man gets a knock at the door. When he opens the door he sees a large gorilla with a sign around its neck stating, " If I catch you I'm going to screw you." |
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