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A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport to wait for her flight. She looked over and saw those weigh machines that tell you your fortune. So, she thought to herself "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me." She went over to the machine and put in a nickel, and out came her card that said, "You're a nun and you weigh 128lbs, and your going to Chicago, Illinois." She sat back down and thought about it. She told herself that it probably tell everyone the same thing, but decided to try it again. She went back to the machine and put in another nickel. The card came out saying, " You're a nun who weigh 128lbs, and you going to Chicago, Illinois and you're going to play a fiddle." The nun said to herself, "I know that is wrong because I've never played a musical instrument in my life." She sat back down. And from no where, a cowboy came over and set his fiddle case down next to her. The nun picked up the fiddle and started playing beautiful music. Startled, she looked back at the machine and said, "This is incredible, I've got to try this again." She goes back to the machine, puts in her nickel and out came the another card. It said, "You're a nun, you weigh 128lbs, you're going to Chicago, Illinois. And your going to break wind." Now , the nun knew the machine was wrong. She had never broken wind in public in her life! Well, she tripped, fell off the scales and broke wind. Stunned, she sat down, looked at the machine ans said to her self, "This is truely unbelievable! I got to try this again." She went back to the machine, put in her nickel. Collected her card and it said," You're a nun, you weigh 128lb, you have fiddled and farted around and you have missed your flight to Chicago." |
| Weighting for a Flight |
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You have to stay in shape. My Mother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60 , she's 97 now and we have no idea know where she is. ~~~~~ Amazing you hang something in your wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes?!?!? ~~~~~ I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose of fire!!! |
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| Does My Bum Look Big In This? |
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A Little Bedtime Prayer..... Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my shape to keep. Please no wrinkles. Please no bags. Please lift my but before it sags. Please no age spots. Please no grey. And as for my belly, please take it away. Please keep me healthy.Please keep me young. And thank you dear Lord for all that you have done. Amen. |