Tucson AZ, Inc.
Robert H. Phillips, Ph. D.*
You're are living with an ostomy. But that's not good enough. You want to learn how to live well with an ostomy. You want to start getting back into the swing of things. Smart move!
Thousands of people have had ostomy surgery. But regardless of how this surgery has affected others, you want to do everything you can to take responsibility for your own life. You can help yourself to feel better --- both physically and psychologically!
How Can Your Surgery Affect You?
Each person is unique and deals with the circumstances surrounding ostomy surgery in a different way. You need to analyze your own situation to determine how to best live with your illness.
Because having ostomy surgery affects different people in a number of different ways, you may experience some or many of the following concerns:
> Interference with daily activities
> Interference with your physical functioning
> Changes in your lifestyle and/or personality
> Emotional reactions (such as depression, anger, anxiety, helplessness, or guilt)
> Changes in relationships with family members
> Alterations in your social life
> Accomodations in your vocational life
> Interference with your sleep
> Feelings that you have less control
What Can You Do?
Your ultimate goal is to take charge and live a happier life --- despite having an ostomy. Here are a few strategies that can help you to better handle your ostomy and improve your overall health, happiness and productivity.
1. Be a person not a patient. Make this the foundation of your thinking. You are a person who has had ostomy surgery, not an ill person. The only time you're a patient is when you're in the doctor's office or in the hospital. The way you see yourself living with an ostomy is an essential part of coping successfully.
2. Understand the unique way that your ostomy affects you and your life. Identify the ways that your ostomy causes problems for you. Are you experiencing any problems with the pouching system, leakage, odor, skin breakdown? How does having an ostomy affect others around you? Does it limit your activities? There are many other factors that may affect you. You'll want to identify them and then determine how you're going to deal with them.
3. Set overall goals for improving your life. You'll find that your efforts can include many of the following:
~ Improving your ability to adapt to your situation
~ Setting reasonable, realistic and achievable goals
~ Aiming to regain control of your life
~ Improving day to day functioning
~ Improving your perspective on any problems you may be facing
~ Being more assertive and taking an active part in your health care (including dealing with medical personnel)
~ Accepting and improving your ability to handle negative emotions
~ Focusing more on your strength and diminishing the impact of any weakness or limitations imposed by having an ostomy
~ Doing things that you like and spending less time with things you dislike
~ Enhancing positive relationships
~ Improving participation in your social network
~ Improving your life satisfaction and quality of life.
4. Pinpoint what you need to help improve your life. Think about all the difficulties you are living with your ostomy. Write these down on the left side of a folded piece of paper. On the right side next to each item, write down things you can do to improve each one. Note as many alternatives as you can. Ask others for additional ideas, especially if you're not sure what to do about certain things. Keep adding to your list, and plan how you will use these ideas to improve your life.
5. Anticipate the negative. There are negative things [that] can happen during your life with an ostomy (e.g., leakage, skin irritation, depression, fear, sexual concerns). But, some of these could also happen if you didn't have an ostomy! The more you anticipate and prepare --- the better you will cope. [Isn't this true for all of us --- ostomy or not?]
* Dr. Phillips is the founder and director of the Center for Coping located on Long Island, NY, <www.coping.com>. He has been an invited speaker at annual UOA Conferences and is on the Advisory Board of the Ostomy Association of Brooklyn (NY).
From Fox Healthcare Active Living Spring/00; via Niagara Frontier (NY) OA NFOA; Anne Arundel Co. (MD) Rambling Rosebud (04/01); and The Mission Ostomy Chapter of Tucson (AZ) THE COURIER (05/01). ~
