| What I look like blond |
| Have you ever wondered what you'd look like with your hair a different color? More importantly, have you ever wondered what I would look like with long, curly blond hair? Well wonder no more. Below you'll find just that. In fact, I had way too much fun taking these 20 pics. Have a little peep at me with my new locks, and try to suppress the urge to go blond yourself. It does have its downsides... |
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| Here I'm not quite used to my newly acquired hairdo. The strange new hair and large amount of caffeine coursing through my veins make a strange and wonderful sensation that causes mental overload, and thus, the blank stare. If you look closely in these shots, you'll notice that my hair does appear to be blond, and a bit longer than usual, not to mention ridiculously wavy. This can only confirm your suspicions, I imagine, that I wasn't lying in the previous paragraph. However, do not be so easily deceived... |
| Ah, now I'm getting used to the beautiful, although asymetrical mane. Just like my old hair, my new hair is wild and unruly. Well, maybe the old hair didn't quite qualify as unruly, but it was rather ornery at times. I'm starting to feel like a super model, though closer to just a regular model. Eh, maybe more like an ugly model who doesn't make enough money to pay rent and is forced to make a life for himself/herself living on the streets preforming oral sex on passers-by for nickels, or at worst, just to have a warm meal in his/her stomache. |
| Oooh hoo, now I'm feeling like a rock star. No, not a rock star. Maybe more like Rod Stewart or Michael Bolten in the early 90s. Only scarier. And not as famous. In fact, not famous at all. Hmm... perhaps I'm feeling like a college drop-out who sits in the basement of his mom's house and takes pictures of himself wearing a blond wig and posts them on the internet. Yeah, that's probably closer to the mark. Anyway, however I feel, I also feel the need to make it look scary. And I somewhat succeed too, I think. At least, I'm scared of these pictures. |
| Um, don't really know what to say about these ones. That one on the left has some nice shadow effects. And, uh... the one on the right has... um... a good open mouth... thing going.... there.... Okay, so these ones don't really have any kind of story behind them. They just happened to fall between the other ones that did. I took 20 pictures, so I had to put them all up. I couldn't just put 18 up, cause people would say "Why just 18? Why not go the whole 9 yards and make it 20?" So see? It's because of you people that I'm under so much stress. Assholes, cut me some slack. |
| Alright, time to put the hood up now. Personally, I like the Big Lip look on the left, and the close up of the "I can't grow facial hair 'cause I haven't reached puberty yet" goatee on the right. The fact that you get a slutty view up my nostrils was something I noticed only after posting the picture, when it was too late to go back and edit that out. Plus, I wouldn't know how to edit it out in the first place, so I wanted to avoid the inevitable drop in self-esteem that would follow me realizing I'm not good with editing pictures. Uh oh... It happened anyway... Damn. |
| I'm laughing on the left, cause I was doing my imitation of the Bridge Guardian from Monty Python and The Holy Grail, and I pictured the guy in the movie with long wavy blond hair. On the right, I'm trying to do a hair flip like those dancers in the clubs I'm not allowed into anymore. I've learned that either it's really hard to flip your hair, or it's just hard to do while trying to take a picture of it. Either way, mine doesn't look nearly as sexy as those dancers' flips, so I guess I have to rethink my plans of infiltrating aforementioned clubs disguised as a dancer. |
| These are my Tired Webcam Whore pictures. The glassy-eyed stare and general look of malaise and boredom along with my stunning blond hair totally complete that look, I think. All I need to do now is entice men and boys alike with my ultra sexy font and sexually suggestive talk that lead to a concise and unsatisfying display of close-ups that may or may not be a sexual organ, and I can make millions. Don't judge me. You don't know me! Wha'eva, I do wha' I want! Bitch. Don't you be taking my webcam men away neither. 'Cause I will slap you down, bitch. I will beat your bitch ass like no one's business. |
| Well now. Don't I look scared in the picture on the left? That's because I am. Probably of the picture on the right. To be completely honest, I don't know why I took either of these, though in all fairness, I really don't know why I took any of these. I guess if it helps you to get your jollies, then all the better. Maybe this picture on the right is me finally feeling like a rock star. Or it could just be that I'm pretending to lick something. Something that looks really nasty and gross, but it tastes good. Like a roasted child or something. No wait, that's gross to eat, but fun to look at. Oops. |
| You know those little strawberry wafer cookies with the three layers of crispy cardboard type thing, and in between the two layers of much-too-sweet icing? Well I have one of those shoved in my mouth here. That's about all there is to say about these ones. Don't expect six lines like in the other groups. I mean, I've got on a wig and am making stupid faces with a whole cookie in my mouth. How much more can you say about that? If I were to go on, it would just be filler, and nothing important or funny or even worth saying, so I'm not gonna type out six lines. Ass-head. |
| Left: "Hmm, blondes really do have more trouble thinking..." Right: Self-explanatory. |
| Well, there I am. Blond. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did, though I doubt that's possible. In fact, if you did enjoy it as much as I did, then you probably have some kind of sick obsession with me, and you need help. Then again, someone having a sick obsession with me is also probably not possible... so I guess there's no threat of incident there. Anyway, that's all there is. So... fuck off. |