The Next Conflicting Phase
Part Twenty-Nine
It had been one month since the Admiral resigned and his departure was still felt deeply amongst the staff, who were all on edge as they waited to find out who was going to be appointed the new JAG. And their interim JAG certainly wasn�t helping matters, he thought to himself with annoyance. Sturgis Turner was a good friend, but he was a lousy JAG. His �by the book, no task too small� attitude � not to mention his complete lack of anything resembling humor � was driving Harm completely up the wall.
It wasn�t that he begrudged Sturgis the opportunity; well, not exactly. He still felt that either he or Mac would have been a more suitable choice, both because of seniority and their prior experiences running JAG in the Admiral�s absence. But as Mac had pointed out when the SecNav had given the job to Sturgis, their relationship made it impossible for either one of them to have the job. None of which changed his opinion that the power and responsibility of the position had pushed a stick so far up Sturgis� six that it would probably only be removable by major surgery.
Harm sighed; the last thing he wanted to think about right now was the tedium and frustration that was currently his job. He had one day left to enjoy his weekend, and that was not the way to do it. Pushing all thoughts of Sturgis and JAG out of his head, he rubbed the last of the sleep from his eyes and forced himself out of bed. Slipping on a pair of shorts and a tank top, he headed downstairs in search of Mac and a steaming hot cup of coffee, in whatever order he could get them.
�It looks like coffee first,� Harm thought as he walked into the kitchen and found it as empty as the rest of the rooms in the house. He shrugged and walked over to start a pot of coffee; he figured that she was outside working on the yard; or taking pictures, of course. He�d gotten used to seeing her with her camera at all hours, snapping photos of whatever happened to catch her eye or spark her imagination. He found it endearing most of the time � unless he was what caught her eye, which happened too frequently for his tastes. She always got him to go along, though, and he kept telling himself that it was because he was being a generous and considerate lover and not that she shamelessly stroked his ego whenever she wanted to take his picture. Or for the passionate thank you�s he got in return, like the one he�d received last night.
Smiling to himself at the memories, Harm reached into the pantry for the cereal as he waited for the coffee to finish brewing. Sitting down at the table, he picked up the paper that Mac had thoughtfully brought in for him and scanned the sports section while leisurely eating his breakfast. He and the coffee finished at the same time, so he took his bowl to the sink and rinsed it out before grabbing the pot and a couple of mugs. Once the mugs were filled, he slipped on a pair of sandals and headed outside.
Only the screen door was shut, so it was easy for him to bump it open without setting down the mugs of coffee. Stepping quietly onto the porch, he took a moment to just enjoy the beauty of the morning. The sun was still peeking through the trees, emitting more light than heat, and a soft breeze was helping to keep things cool. It was one of those picture perfect mornings that he�d read about in books; the ones he had never believed in before Mac.
Shaking his head ruefully at the sappy direction his thoughts had taken, Harm headed down the front steps looking for Mac. He found her immediately, off at the end of the porch pulling weeds away from the flowers planted around the front of the house. She was wearing her usual gardening outfit, he noted with an amused grin: a faded marine corps t-shirt and threadbare cut-off denim shorts with stray threads still hanging from the bottom. Her feet were bare as usual, and on top of her head, to shield her face from the sun, she was wearing a ridiculously large floppy hat complete with a strategically placed plastic flower. It was a gag gift from Frank on his parents last visit, and Mac wore the silly thing with such pride and delight that he didn�t have the heart to tease her mercilessly about how goofy she looked. Truth be told, he found it pretty endearing and, scarily enough, just the tiniest bit sexy. Especially when the goofy hat was accompanied by the full-wattage smile she was flashing at him now that she noticed him walking her way.
�Morning,� he said, holding out a cup of steaming coffee for her. She took it from him, cupping it in her hands and inhaling deeply.
�Mm. Morning,� she murmured, taking a sip of the coffee. She sighed happily, and then gave him a brilliant smile. �Thanks.�
He squatted down next to her and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. �You�re welcome. How long have you been out here?� he asked, idly flicking the brim of her hat.
�Not too long,� she told him, swatting his hand away, but he knew she was lying. The only time she didn�t tell him the precise time was when she didn�t want him to know how long she�d been up doing whatever they were talking about at the time. �I was going to wait for you, but I really wanted to come out here and get some of this done before it got too hot.�
�That�s okay. Need any help?� She raised a skeptical brow, and he amended, �With the rest of the yard. Mowing, raking; that kind of thing.�
�You mean more manly kind of things?� She laughed when he just glared at her. She reached up and patted his cheek. �No, I don�t need any help right now, but thanks for the offer.�
�You sure?� he offered one last time, and when she just shook her head, he shrugged. �Then I think it�s time to wash the �vette again.�
�Good idea.� Harm gave her another quick kiss before standing up and heading inside to grab the keys to the �vette and the Lexus. After spending a good five minutes rearranging the cars, he finally got the �vette situated by itself in the middle of the driveway, and went to grab all the necessary car-washing equipment. Taking a moment to flip on the stereo in the garage and set it to one of those �mix-of-everything-under-the-sun� music stations, he grabbed the hose and started to rinse the first layer of dirt off the car.
They worked silently side-by-side, content just knowing that they were sharing a beautiful Sunday morning together. After he had finished thoroughly hosing down the car, though, Harm wanted to hear the sound of her voice, so he decided to start some conversation.
�So what�s the plan for the day?� he called out to her as he tossed the hose to the side and picked up a rag.
�Well, I need to go to the grocery store at some point,� Mac responded, looking up from the flowerbed. She took a moment to admire the play of muscles under Harm�s dampened shirt as he began to rub down the car as she continued, �We need milk and eggs, and I thought I�d pick up the ingredients we�d need to make that recipe you printed out the other day.�
�Which one; the salmon or the pasta?� he asked somewhat absently as he examined a small scratch on the hood of the car. Mac was having a hard time hearing him over the noise of the radio from where she was sitting, so she asked him to repeat his question. He did, looking up just long enough to ensure that she heard him this time before turning his attention back to the scratch.
�The pasta; we had salmon on Thursday.� Mac stood up and moved over to work on pulling the weeds near the driveway so they wouldn�t have to keep raising their voices. Once she was situated, she continued, �And then I thought we could stop by the hardware store to pick up the rest of the stuff we need for the basement.�
After Mac had started seriously working on her photos again, Harm came up with the idea of cordoning off a section of the basement to serve as a darkroom. Mac had been skeptical � although she loved the idea of being able to develop her own pictures, she didn�t want to lose their makeshift gym � but Harm had drawn up a plan that would allow them to have both. She had finally agreed, partly because she thought it was a good idea, and partly because Harm had been practically bubbling with excitement at the thought of remodeling. Harm�s love of power tools never ceased to entertain her; which was fine, because Mac�s joy in taking a sledgehammer and knocking down walls provided Harm with endless hours of amusement. All in all, it was a win-win situation.
�Sounds good.� As he moved around to the back of the car, another idea came to him. �Hey, do you want to go to the movies tonight?�
Mac nodded without hesitation. It had been awhile since they�d gone, and she enjoyed going to the movies with him. Especially since they kept the theaters ice cold, giving her an excuse to snuggle up to him. She smiled at the thought. �Sure. What�s playing?�
�Well, Shrek 2 is still out, or there�s the new Spiderman movie.�
�I think I�d prefer Shrek.�
�Me, too,� he agreed. �Do you still want to make the pasta thing, or do you want to go out for dinner?�
�Let�s go out,� she decided after considering the options. �If we end up working on the basement, then I don�t think either one of us will be in the mood to cook.�
�You�re probably right. Before or after the movie?�
�Before,� she answered decisively. �It�ll keep me from gorging on popcorn. But nothing too heavy or too expensive.�
�All right. Do you want to take your car or mine?�
�We might as well take yours, since you�re making it look so pretty,� she teased. Giving the �vette a speculative look, she added more seriously, �You know, we really do need to think about selling one of them. We don�t need three cars.�
�I know. But I don�t want to give up my �vette, and you don�t want to give up yours, and we can�t give up the Lexus...� Harm trailed off with a shrug; they had this conversation at least once a week, and never managed to get anywhere. He reached down to pick up the window cleaner and turned his attention back to the car.
Mac, however, wasn�t willing to let the subject go. �I think we should just sit down and make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of selling both cars,� she told him, standing up and brushing her soiled hands on the front of her shirt - she reminded herself for the hundredth time to buy a pair of gardening gloves � before heading over in his direction. �And then decide which one to get rid of.�
�Mac,� Harm sighed, tossing his rag onto the hood. �We already tried that, and we still couldn�t decide which one to get rid of. I think we should��
Harm trailed off as the familiar strains of Santana penetrated his consciousness and he realized what song they were playing on the radio. With a huge grin, he stepped over to Mac and tugged her into his arms, knocking her hat off in the process.
�Harm, what...?� Mac started to ask as she tried to bend down and retrieve her hat, but Harm just nodded towards the stereo as he pulled her closer to him and started swaying back and forth.
�Our song,� he grinned, dropping a quick kiss on her nose. Mac giggled and tried to pull away, embarrassed at the thought of the neighbors seeing them dancing in the middle of the driveway. But Harm refused to let go, so she finally just surrendered and wrapped her arms around his waist. When the song reached the chorus, she laughed.
�You know, it�s scary how well this song fits us,� she told him with a rueful grin. �What does it say about us that our song revolves around screwing up all attempts at conversation?�
�It says that we�re complicated, yet very self-aware people,� Harm retorted pompously, and then his face melted into a smile. �Or, if you were to ask mom, it says that we�re two stubborn mules that couldn�t talk our way out of a paper bag; at least when it comes to personal stuff.�
Mac laughed again. �She�s probably right.�
�She usually is,� he conceded, �But we can�t tell her that, or she�ll be completely insufferable.� He narrowed his eyes at her warningly. �Don�t say it.�
�Say what?� she asked with exaggerated innocence, but Harm wasn�t fooled for a minute.
�Say whatever it was you were about to say that put that evil look in your eyes, Miss Smart Mouth.�
Mac flashed him a naughty grin. �You like my smart mouth,� she purred, leaning up and brushing a kiss against his jaw. Harm forced himself not to react.
�You think?� he asked skeptically, and then held back a groan when her lips began to trail down the side of his neck.
�I know,� she answered, brushing against him seductively. All thoughts of modesty and embarrassment were gone as she pulled his head down and gave him a passionate kiss.
�Mm,� Harm murmured as they pulled apart, �Maybe I like it a little.�
Mac�s eyebrow shot up in response. �Just a little? Hmm, I must be doing something wrong,� she said with dismay. Then she shrugged. �Let me try again.� Another kiss, this one even longer and more passionate. �Now how do you like it?�
Harm let out a soft groan in surrender. �A lot. Definitely,� he told her, leaning in for one last kiss before pulling away while he still had the control; otherwise their neighbors were definitely going to get an eyeful. Instead he continued to dance with her, through the rest of that song and the next, content to just hold her in his arms. He closed his eyes as they swayed softly to the music, reveling in the warmth of the sun and the breeze brushing against his face and Mac�s soft hands running up and down his back while her head rested against his chest. This, he thought, was life at its most perfect. Just him and Mac and the joy of the life they�d made for themselves. Nothing could be better than this.
Except, he thought to himself suddenly, a small gold band placed on the fourth finger of the hand still gently caressing him; a band that promised a lifetime of moments like this. A band that he�d waited to put on her hand for months. Well, he wasn�t going to wait anymore.
�Mac?� He spoke her name softly, reverently, and Mac lifted her head and looked up at him, her face the picture of contentment. He paused to take a deep, fortifying breath and then opened his mouth and took the plunge.
�Will you marry me?�
�What?!� Mac tripped over her own feet, throwing them both off balance. She would have toppled them over if Harm hadn�t managed to shift their bodies enough that they fell against the hood of the car. Once he had them both steady again, he looked down into her face, and saw that she was gaping up at him in total and complete shock. He wondered if he should have just kept his mouth shut, but now that it was out there, he sure as hell wasn�t going to take it back.
His face set with determination, he explained, �I�ve been waiting for the right time; trying to come up with the perfect set-up. You know, candles and music and moonlight and romance. But nothing seemed right, and I�m tired of waiting. And this, us, right here and now - dancing in the driveway and deciding what�s for dinner and arguing about whose car to get rid of- this is more perfect than anything I could plan.�
Mac was still staring at him wordlessly, and he felt the first hints of panic set in. He was bungling it again, just like he�d known he would, and he felt his face burning with embarrassment. �I know it�s not the most romantic of proposals,� he apologized. He knew that his best option would be to just shut up and cut his losses, but he was unable to stop babbling, �It�s probably not much better than the last one, but-�
Mac, having finally shaken herself out of her shock induced paralysis, reached up and placed a hand over Harm�s mouth to stop his babbling. She waited until she was certain he would remain silent before sliding her hand off his face and wrapping it around his neck. Pulling his head down until his chin was practically resting on her shoulder; she brushed her lips against his ear.
�Yes.�
Harm�s head shot up so fast she worried he�d suffered whiplash. He stared at her with a mixture of awe and disbelief. �What?�
Mac smiled and caressed his face softly. �It is perfect, Harm,� she told him sincerely. �It�s perfect because it�s you, and me, and us. So, yes, I�ll marry you.�
�Really?�
Mac�s laughter filled the air, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and began smothering his face with kisses. �Really.�
Until that moment, Harm never actually believed that a heart could be bursting with joy. But now, as he looked down into the radiant face of his fianc�e, he was so full of love and happiness that he didn�t see how his heart could possibly contain it. As his laughter joined with hers, he caught her up in his arms and swung her around. Then he kissed her, long and slow, and the passion and intensity grew until finally he couldn�t take it anymore. He set her on her feet just long enough to bend slightly at the knees, wrap one arm around her legs and the other around her arms, and hoist her over his shoulders like the proverbial sack of potatoes before striding purposefully up the porch steps.
�Harm!� she shrieked as her world turned upside down, �What are you doing?�
�Carrying you back to bed so we can celebrate,� he said, pushing open the front door and stepping inside.
�Oh.� Mac thought about that for a second as Harm shut the door behind him and headed towards the stairs. �Okay.�
They only made it a couple more steps before Harm realized that there was no way he could carry her up the stairs without either throwing out his back or falling and breaking at least one of their necks. Setting her down, he grabbed her hand so that he could drag her upstairs, but Mac had other ideas. Digging in her heels, she said, �Harm?�
Harm hissed out a sigh of frustration, but turned to look at her. �What, Mac?� he asked impatiently, annoyed at the delay; that is, until Mac pulled him to her and began to kiss and nibble at his neck.
�Let�s celebrate in there first,� she murmured, lifting her head long enough to nod towards the living room before resuming her exploration of his neck. Feeling his knees beginning to weaken, he nodded his head and grabbed her hand, pulling her over to the couch.
�Good idea.�
�Location?�
In between rounds of�celebration�Harm and Mac began to make wedding plans. Now that the proposal was taken care of, neither one of them wanted to wait any longer to make things official. Fortunately, they both agreed that they wanted a small, simple ceremony with just family and close friends. So far, they had agreed on a December wedding, although they hadn�t narrowed it down any further, to be performed by Chaplain Turner. They�d also discussed it and decided that they weren�t going to have bridesmaids or groomsmen. Partly because Harm couldn�t decide whether to make Bud or Sturgis his best man, and partly because as much as Mac loved Harriet, she didn�t want anything that reminded her of her aborted wedding to Mic. Also, they both liked the idea of it being just the two of them standing up there together.
Mac had also decided that she wasn�t going to have AJ, or anyone else, walk her down the aisle. Although she knew it was tradition, she didn�t want anyone to give her away; this time, she told Harm, she was giving herself, freely and completely. Harm, though, had done her one better by suggesting that they walk down the aisle together, starting off their personal life the same way they did their professional one, as partners and equals. Mac had loved the idea, and was overwhelmed at Harm�s thoughtfulness in coming up with it. She had quickly agreed, which led to another round of celebration.
�Mac?� Harm�s voice startled Mac out of her contemplation of their most recent bout of lovemaking, and she forced herself to focus on answering his question. She did actually have an idea about where she wanted their wedding to take place, but she was pretty sure Harm would never agree to it. Still, she supposed it wouldn�t hurt to ask.
�Are you going to think I�m crazy if I say I want an outside wedding?� she asked, lifting her head from his chest. The look he gave her answered her question perfectly.
�Yes,� he bluntly replied. �December, Mac,� he reminded her unnecessarily. �It�ll be freezing. Not to mention snowing.�
�If we have it in the middle of the day, and keep the ceremony short, it shouldn�t be too bad,� Mac countered immediately. She knew he was right, but she wasn�t ready to give up quite yet. �There won�t be more than a couple dozen people; we could set up some heaters to warm things up a little.�
�Space heaters won�t help with snowing,� Harm pointed out. Mac let out a despondent sigh.
�You�re right. It was a stupid idea,� she said in a small voice laced with disappointment. �I want to get married in December. I just, I�ve always liked the idea of getting married outside.�
Harm winced when her face flushed in embarrassment, and he hastened to reassure her. �It�s not a stupid idea, Mac. I just don�t know how feasible it is,� he said with a helpless shrug. He actually kind of liked the idea of an outdoor wedding, but he couldn�t ignore the practicalities of the situation. Then a possible solution came to mind. �Unless we could somehow find someplace to hold the ceremony indoors if the weather is too bad.�
Mac considered it for a moment, and then shook her head. �Then we�d have to reserve two different places. That�s too expensive. We can�t afford that.�
Harm snorted. �Please, like Mom�s going to let us pay for anything.� He rolled his eyes at her. �She�s been waiting for this for so long; I�ll bet she already has enough money set aside for us to get married at the National Cathedral.�
�Harm, we can�t let her pay for our wedding,� Mac protested, but Harm just raised an amused eyebrow at her.
�Let her. I�d like to know how you think we can stop her,� he answered with a grin, but Mac just glared stubbornly at him. He sighed. They�d only been engaged for a few hours, and the wedding was already giving him a headache, but he still tried to get her to listen to reason.
�You know her, Mac. When she gets her mind set on something, there�s no talking her out of it. We�re going to have enough to deal with convincing her that we really want a small wedding. There�s no way we�re going to win on the money, too.�
Although it went against her nature to accept help � especially monetary help � from anyone, she had to admit that Harm was right. After all, with as insistent as Trish had been about spoiling them while she was visiting, the chances of keeping her from going overboard for something as big as her only child�s wedding were slim to none. �You�re probably right,� she conceded finally. She crossed her arms and insisted stubbornly, �We�re paying for the reception, though.�
�Okay,� Harm quickly agreed, happy that they�d avoided that land mine with relative ease. �Now that we�ve got that settled, we just need to pick out our inside and outside locations and set a date.�
�Well, we need the date first so we can figure out what�s available location-wise.� Mac looked at him questioningly. �Any thoughts on the matter?�
�Actually, yes,� Harm answered slowly, and Mac sat up, curious. He hesitated for a moment before suggesting quietly, �What do you think of Christmas eve?�
�What?� Mac looked at him in stunned disbelief. �I�what?�
She knew she should say something else, but that was the last thing she�d expected to hear, and she had no idea how to respond. She tried to read Harm�s expression to see what he was thinking, but he had his gaze firmly focused on the hands in his lap. This was obviously not an easy thing to talk about, so Mac took one of them in her own in a gesture of support, and waited patiently for him to explain to her what was going on in his head. After almost five minutes of waiting, Harm finally spoke.
�I�ve been thinking about it�not just today,� he admitted softly, idly stroking her fingers, �but since we started talking about getting married all those months ago. Almost my entire life, everything revolved around my father; waiting for him to come home, needing to find him, following in his footsteps. And I can�t change that.�
�I don�t want to change that,� he told her honestly, finally lifting his head and meeting her gaze, letting himself be warmed by the love and compassion he saw in the depths of her soft brown eyes, �because everything that happened led me to you, to this point, and I wouldn�t trade this for anything.� He sighed. �But I have to move on. I can�t forget, or pretend it didn�t happen, but I have to stop letting my life revolve around something that happened a lifetime ago. I want to stop living in the past. But I still want to honor it, honor all the things that happened that led me to you. And I thought that Christmas Eve would be the best time. Like coming full-circle, kind of, or�� he shook his head in frustration. �I�m not making any sense, am I?�
�You�re making perfect sense,� Mac told him softly. She smiled and lifted her free hand to stroke his cheek. �I understand, Harm. Christmas Eve was really the end or your childhood, and now that you�ve finally come to terms with everything and are ready to move forward, you want to it be the start of your future as an adult. It�s�� she trailed off for a moment as she searched for the right word, and then said, �fitting. It�s very fitting. And I think it�s a wonderful idea. If you�re sure�� she added, and Harm nodded.
�I�m sure,� he said firmly, and was rewarded with a dazzling smile. He felt the knot of tension in his stomach melt away under the warmth of that smile; he should have known she�d understand. Despite their ups and downs over the years, nobody had ever understood him the way she did.
�Then I guess we�re getting married outside on Christmas Eve,� she said happily, leaning up and kissing his cheek. Harm grinned and pulled her up and onto his lap.
�I guess we are,� he answered. �Provided that it doesn�t snow.�
He looked down at her hands and realized there was still one thing he hadn�t done yet. He turned and looked at the drawer of his nightstand. �That only leaves one thing left to take care of.�
Mac watched him with curiosity. �What? Calling your mom to let her know?�
Harm�s head whipped back around and he looked at her in horror. �God, no. If we call her now, we�ll be lucky to get her off the phone by the time we leave for work tomorrow.� He shuddered at the thought of their phone bill if they called her now. �No, I thought we�d just wait and tell her when we see her on Friday.�
After a few hundred less than subtle hints about how much they�d enjoy a couple of days relaxing on the beach, Harm and Mac had finally agreed to spend Fourth of July weekend in La Jolla, and were scheduled to fly out early Friday morning. Harm thought that would be the perfect time to let her know of their engagement.
Mac nodded in agreement. �Probably a good idea,� she conceded. Then she frowned, and watched as Harm turned his attention back to the table next to the bed. �But then what do we have left to take care of?�
Leaning over, he dug one handed through the drawer until he came up with a small velvet pouch. Wrapping his arms around her, he opened her hand with his own and shook the contents of the pouch into it. �This,� he answered softly as she looked down at the simple diamond ring nestled in her palm. Tucking her hair behind her ear, he leaned close and asked in choked whisper, �Be my wife, Sarah? Let me be your husband?�
Mac�s eyes were filled with tears when she turned her head to look at him, and a joyous smile was lighting her face. �Yes,� she answered simply. She kissed him softly, and then looked back down at her hand. �It�s beautiful,� she told him sincerely, and he smiled.
�Like you,� he answered, picking it up and slipping it onto her finger. It fit perfectly, he noted happily, and reminded himself to thank Harriet for helping him pick it out. And for managing not to say anything for over three months, which he was sure drove her slowly out of her mind.
Then Mac wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck, and he forgot all about Harriet and anything else not related to his fianc�e. His fianc�e, he repeated to himself as he pulled her even closer. He loved the sound of those two words, and he couldn�t wait to start using them in conversation with everyone he knew; and everyone he didn�t know, for that matter. The only thing better would be when �his fianc�e� changed to �his wife�.
Lost in his contemplation of his new favorite phrase, Harm didn�t immediately notice when Mac turned her head and began nuzzling softly at his neck. But when she spoke, the sultry, seductive tone in her voice drew his attention immediately.
�Harm.� She began pressing little biting kisses up his neck to his jaw line, and Harm shuddered in pleasure. Then she shifted in his lap until she was straddling him. Brushing her lips over his, she whispered hotly, �Do you think you can handle another round of celebration?�
He looked at her with lust-filled eyes. �Try and stop me,� he told her with a wolfish grin, and she laughed delightedly. Sliding his hands to her hips, he flipped them over until she was nestled beneath him. Pulling the covers over their heads, they earnestly began their latest celebration � their first official celebration as an engaged couple.
Rabb/Mackenzie residence
June 26, 2004
0930 EST
Harm awoke on the first official weekend of summer to the warmth of the sun on his face and the coolness of the sheets on the other side of the bed. Glancing at the clock, he groaned when he realized how late it was; Sunday or not, he never slept past eight. Still, after the week he�d had, he felt entitled to take a little extra time.
Hours later, after they�d finally made their way upstairs to their bedroom, Harm was lying in bed with Mac curled up in his arms, her head resting contentedly on his chest. He stroked his hand over her hair; occasionally letting his fingers tangle in the soft strands, and spoke quietly.