Gratitude
Part Three
�There�s no excuse, sir. I was trying to catch up on my work and I guess I got distracted. I apologize, sir. It won�t happen again.�
She thought she had pulled herself together and handled that well, at least until the Admiral�s next question knocked her off balance again.
�Are you sure you�re O.K. Mac? Do you need more time?�
The concern in his voice and in his gaze nearly reduced her to tears. It felt like forever since someone in the office had shown any concern for her welfare. Why was he the only one who could see that this WAS hurting her, despite whatever her appearance maintained. Why couldn�t Harm...
Harm. Harm had come for her. Had given up his career to try and save her. He�d had to. Because the man standing in front of her had given him no other choice. Because the man standing in front of her was willing to leave her behind. To let her die. And now, now when she was here in front of him and not dead in a remote part of South America, he had the nerve to stand there and pretend to be concerned. He had abandoned her, had punished Harm for coming to find her. He had betrayed his own damn Seal code of never leaving a man behind. Was that why he had refused to take Harm back? So he wouldn�t be faced with his own failures? Well, if he thought firing Harm would make what had happened just go away, he was about to find out just how wrong he was. She knew what part she had to blame for all of this mess. She understood why these people were angry with her. And she knew that although they were just as angry with the Admiral, they would never show him that. As their C.O. he was protected from their wrath. Well she�d be damned if he�d be protected from hers.
�No, sir.� Her tone was coldly respectful as she drew herself up to stare him directly in the face. �I am perfectly capable of fulfilling my obligations at JAG. It was a momentary lapse that will not happen again. I won�t let the team down, sir.�
Her face and tone had remained impassive from the moment she opened her mouth to respond. It remained so as she delivered what they both knew was a deliberate slap in the face. And it was only beneath the respectful facade that Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, U.S.M.C., felt a vicious stab of vindictive pleasure as she watched former Navy Seal and current Judge Advocate General, Admiral A.J. Chegwidden, flinch from her blow. With a barely contained rage, she gazed at him as he drew himself up ramrod straight and tried to overwhelm her with his presence. She had seen him do it before, and it had worked before. Every single time it had worked. On everyone from Tiner to the SecNav. Even now, some part of her was registering the sudden nervous tension from Coates. The forgotten Petty Officer had drawn back instinctively from the Admiral�s anger. Then she looked from the Admiral to the Colonel and could barely suppress a gasp. The message in the Colonel�s eyes was clear and sharp as a dagger.
Bring it on, old man. I dare you.
Coates wasn�t the only one to recognize the look in Mac�s eyes. It was all A.J. could do not to flinch again at the blatant challenge issuing forth from his Chief of Staff. Even as he began to respond, the officer in him took stock of the situation and realized this was not the place to continue this particular showdown. He would not give his people any more of a show, and he would not let Harmon Rabb�s ill-conceived resignation cause him to lose another officer. Because he knew what was behind Mac�s sudden rage and he was absolutely certain that no threat, no punishment would make her back down now. They would finish this confrontation later.
He answered her in a deathly quiet voice that still managed to carry across the entire bullpen, �I�m glad to hear that, Colonel. Staff meeting is in two minutes. I trust you will be on time.�
Without waiting for a response, he turned and strode out the door, leaving a shell-shocked Jen scurrying to catch up to him.
Mac sighed as she began to gather her files. She was somewhat disappointed that the Admiral had backed away from their verbal skirmish. She had been looking forward to telling him exactly what she thought of him. And then, when he booted her out of the service right behind Harm, she had been looking forward to knocking him flat on his two-starred ass. And afterwards maybe stepping on his face with one of her regulation heels. She let out a small giggle at that until she realized he�d be able to see past her regulation heels and right up her regulation skirt. He�d probably enjoy that. With another sigh, she gathered up the rest of her papers and her violent tendencies and headed into the conference room. It was going to be a long week.
Mac froze at her commanding officer�s demand. What should she say? Did he know something was wrong? Did he suspect that she was not as fine as she pretended? That underneath the cool, take no prisoners marine was a woman who felt herself slowly unraveling? No, he wasn�t looking any harder than the rest of them. He didn�t care to know what was wrong with her; he only cared to know why she didn�t snap to the minute he opened his mouth. Well, she could deal with that easily enough.