| The Plan (Civil Service version) |
| In the beginning was The Plan, And then came the assumptions, And the assumptions were without form, And the Plan was completely without substance, And Darkness came upon the faces of the workers. And they did rent their garments and spake unto the EO, saying, "Yea it is an unholy crock of shit and the stench doth offend us". And the EO went unto the HEO, saying, "It is a pail of excrement and none may abide it's odour thereof". And the HEO went unto the SEO, crying unto the heavens saying "It is a container of manure, and it is very strong such that none here may abide it". And the SEO went unto the Grade 6, saying "Hearken unto me, it is a vessel of fertiliser, and none may abide it's strength". And the Grade 6 went unto the Grade 5, crying "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong". And the Grade 5 came before the Head of the Directorate and raising his face before God cried loudly "It promoteth growth and it is very powerful - see how we are blessed". And the Head of the Directorate went forward and spake unto the Head of Department, saying "Let not your heart be troubled for this new plan will actively promote our growth and efficiency". And the Head of Department looked upon the plan and saw that it was good, AND LO, THE PLAN BECAME POLICY. |
 |
 |