| Office Notices |
| The six phases of a project 1. Ethusiasm 2. Disillusionment 3. Panic 4. Search for the guilty 5. Punishment of the innocent 6. Praise and Honours for non-participants ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ PLEASE BE PATIENT - I ONLY WORK HERE BECAUSE I AM TOO OLD FOR A PAPER ROUND, AND TOO YOUNG FOR A PENSION. BEWARE OF THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL - IT MAY BE THE LIGHTS OF THE ONCOMING TRAIN. IF LIFE WERE SIMPLE, IT WOULD BE BORING - WHAT'S WRONG WITH A LITTLE BOREDOM?! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Office Stress relief system --> HIT HEAD HERE <-- Instructions 1 Attach this notice to a desk, wall or other hard surface. 2 Follow the instruction above until either (a) The stress is gone, or (b) You become unconscious. (WARNING - YOU MAY FIND THIS ACTIVITY ADDICTIVE) |
| MONEY CAN'T BUY YOU HAPPINESS - BUT IT MAKES YOUR MISERY A LOT MORE BEARABLE! IF YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HEAD WHEN ALL ABOUT YOU ARE LOSING THEIRS - YOU'RE NOT AWARE OF THE SITUATION! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GETTING THINGS DONE AROUND HERE IS LIKE MATING ELEPHANTS:- 1. IT'S ALWAYS DONE AT HIGH LEVEL 2. IT'S ACCOMPLISHED WITH MUCH BELLOWING 3. IT TAKES TWO YEARS TO GET ANY RESULTS. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DIPLOMACY IS TO DO AND SAY THE NASTIEST THINGS IN THE NICEST WAY THOSE OF YOU WHO THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ARE VERY ANNOYING TO THOSE OF US WHO DO. OUT OF THE GLOOM A VOICE SAID UNTO ME "SMILE AND BE HAPPY; THINGS COULD BE WORSE". SO I SMILED AND WAS HAPPY AND BEHOLD, THINGS DID INDEED GET WORSE! MUSHROOM MANAGEMENT - KEEP THE STAFF IN THE DARK AND COVER THEM IN SHIT. |
 |
 |