| Updated nursery rhymes |
| Mary had a little lamb Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, between two chunks of bread. Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, her clothes all tattered and torn. It wasn't the spider that crept beside her, But Little Boy Blue and his horn. Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the Pieman, What have you got there? Said the Pieman unto Simon, Pies, you dickhead. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "F*ck him, He's only an egg. Mary had a little lamb It ran into a pylon. 10,000 volts went up its ass and turned it's wool to nylon Georgie Porgy pudding and pie. Kissed the girls and made them cry. When the boys came out to play, He kissed them too, cause he was gay. Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have a little fun. Jill, that dill Forgot her pill And now they have a son. Little Boy Blew. Hey. He needed the money. Hickory dickory dock Three mice ran up the clock The clock struck one, And the other two escaped with minor injuries |
| And a fairy tale... Little Red Riding Hood Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log. 'My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.' The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush. 'My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf.' Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock. 'My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf.' With that the wolf jumps up and screams, Bitch! 'Leave me alone, I'm trying to shit!' |
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