| Interpreting Job Applications (for beginners) |
| Understanding Job Applications, CVs and references 1. OUTGOING PERSONALITY...........Always going out of the office 2. GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS....................Able to bullshit 3. GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS........Spends lots of time on phone 4. AVERAGE EMPLOYEE...............................Not too bright 5. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED.......Made no major blunders yet 6. WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY.................Too ugly to get a date 7. ACTIVE SOCIALLY..................................Drinks a lot 8. FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY..................Spouse drinks, too 9. INDEPENDENT WORKER..............Nobody knows what he/she does 10. QUICK THINKER......................Offers plausible excuses 11. CAREFUL THINKER........................Won't make a decision 12. AGGRESSIVE.........................................Obnoxious 13. USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS......Gets someone else to do it 14. EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL.....................Speaks English 15. METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL..................A nit picker 16. HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES.......Is tall or has a louder voice 17. EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT...........................Lucky 18. KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR..............Knows a lot of dirty jokes 19. CAREER MINDED...................................Back Stabber 20. LOYAL..........................Can't get a job anywhere else 21. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH.....Still one step ahead of the law 22. PLANS FOR PROMOTION/ADVANCEMENT....Buys drinks for all the boys 23. OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANISATION......Gets to work on time 24. RELAXED ATTITUDE..............................Sleeps at desk |
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