Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes - the complete set??

Q:   How do blonde braincells die ?
A:   Alone.
Q:   How do you brainwash a blonde?
A:   Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q:   How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.
Q:   How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A:   Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Q:   HOW DO YOU KEEP A BLONDE BUSY ALL DAY?
A:   Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q:   HOW DID THE BLONDE DIE ICE FISHING?
A:   She was run over by the zambonis machine.
Q:   How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A:   Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
Q:   How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A:   Tell her she's pregnant.
Q:   What will she ask you?
A:   "Is it mine?"
Q:   How do you get a blonde off of your knees?
A:   Come.
Q:   How does a blond spell farm?
A:   E-I-E-I-O
Q:   How does a blond kill a fish?
A:   She drowns it.
Q:   A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A:   Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Q:   How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A:   By the ears.
Q:   How do you know a blond likes you?
A:   She screws you two nights in a row.
Q:   How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A:   Her crayons are still sticky.
Q:   How does a blonde moonwalk?
A:   She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!
Q:   WHY IS A BLONDE LIKE AUSTRALIA?
A:   They're both down under, and no one cares.
Q:   WHY DOES A BLONDE LIKE THE NUMBER 77?
A:   She likes to be 8 (ate) more.
Q:   WHY DON`T BLONDES LIKE ANAL SEX?
A:   They don`t like their brains being screwed With.
Q:   WHY CAN`T BLONDES WATER-SKI?
A:   When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.
Q:   WHY ARE BLONDES LIKE PIANOS?
A:   When they aren't upright, they're grand.
Q:   WHY ARE BLONDES SO EASY TO GET INTO BED?
A:   Who cares?
Q:   Why can't blondes count to 70?
A:   Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.
Q:   Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A:   The rest are hunt'n peckers.
Q:   How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
A:   They spread for the bread.
Q:   What do you call a blonde on a waterbed?
A:   Cherry Float
Q:   WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A BLONDE THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
A:   Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Q:   WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE GOLFER WITH AN IQ OF 125?
A:   a foursome.
Q:   WHAT DO YOU GIVE THE BLONDE WHO HAS EVERYTHING?
A:   Penicillin.
Q:   What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
A:   An air bag.
Q:   What nickname is most used by blondes in order to boost their popularity?
A:   B.J.
Q:   Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped?
A:   Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.
Q:   Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A:   To avoid the draft.
Q:   Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
A:   They have to pull their own pants down.
Q:   Why do blondes wear panties?
A:   To keep their ankles warm.
Q:   Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?
A:   It's too hard to re-train them.
Q:   What do blondes do for foreplay?
A:   Remove their underwear.
Q:   What do blonde virgins eat?
A:   Baby food.
Q:   What's the mating call of the blonde?
A:   "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q:   What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A:   (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
Q:   What's the mating call of the brunette?
A1: "All the blondes have gone home!"
A2: Has that blonde gone yet?
A3: When is that blond bitch going to leave!?
Q:   What's the mating call of the redhead?
A:   "Next!"
Q:   How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A:   Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q:   WHAT IS BLONDE AND GREEN AND JUMPS FROM BED TO BED?
A:   A prostitoad.
Q:   WHAT IS 68 TO A BLONDE?
A:   Where she goes down on you and you owe her one.
Q:   What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A:   Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q:   Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A:   Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q:   WHY DID THE BLONDE BAKE A CHICKEN FOR 3 AND A HALF DAYS?
A:   It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.
Q:   WHY DID THE BLONDE PUT HER FINGER OVER THE NAIL WHEN SHE WAS HAMMERING?
A:   The noise gave her a headache.
Q:   WHY DID THE BLONDE HAVE BLISTERS ON HER LIPS?
A:   From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
Q:   Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A:   She heard that the drinks were on the house.
Q:   Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A:   They don't know the route.
Q:   Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A:   So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q:   WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ELVIS AND SMART BLONDES?
A:   Elvis has been sighted.
Q:   WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BLONDES AND TRAFFIC SIGNS?
A:   Some traffic signs say stop.
Q:   WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A LIGHTBULB?
A:   The lightbulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.
Q:   WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A BITCH?
A:   A blonde will fuck anyone, a bitch will fuck anyone but you.
Q:   WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A SHOPPING CART?
A:   The shopping cart has a mind of its own.
Q:   WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CORN FARMER WITH EPILEPSY AND A BLONDE WITH DIARRHEA?
A:   One shucks between fits.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A:   It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A:   One has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus.
Q:   What's the difference betweena blonde and a brick?
A:   When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.
Q:   What is foreplay for a blonde?
A:   Thirty minutes of begging.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A:   Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.
Q:   What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A:   They've both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q:   What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
A:   She turned it over and used the other side.
Q:   What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A:   "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."
Q:   How does a blonde commit suicide?
A:   She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Q:   How do you plant dope?
A:   Bury a blonde.
Q:   Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?
A:   Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.
Q:   How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A:   Wave to her.
Q:   How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?
A:   With a tire gauge! (da da dum)
Q:   How does the blond turn on the light after she has had sex?
A:   She opens the car door.
Q:   How does a blonde get pregnant?
A:   And I thought blondes were dumb!
Q:   How does a blonde part their hair?
A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: By doing the splits.
Q:   How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A:   Shine a torch in her ears.
Q:   How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, "Next".
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.
Q:   How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A:   Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q:   Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A:   (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q:   How do you kill a blonde?
A:   Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q:   How do blondes pierce their ears?
A:   They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q:   How does a blonde like her eggs?
A:   Unfertilized.
Q:   How do you drown a blond?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Don't tell her to swallow.
A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Q:   How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A:   The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
Q:   How does a blonde high-5?
A:   She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q:   How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A:   Flattered.
Q:   What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A:   A know-it-all bitch.
Q:   What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
A:   One's a phony buck.
Q:   What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A:   A magician has a cunning array of stunts.
Q:   What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A:   One that never misses a period.
Q:   What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A:   An Italian suppository.
Q:   What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A:   To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
Q:   WHAT CAN SAVE A DYING BLONDE?
A:   Hair transplants.
Q:   WHAT DID THE BLOND SAY WHEN SHE WOKE UP UNDER THE COW?
A:   What are you guys still doing here?
Q:   WHAT ARE THE WORST SIX YEARS IN A BLONDE'S LIFE?
A:   Third Grade.
Q:   WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES?
A:   She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.
Q:   WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER?
A:   She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.
Q:   What did the blonde do when she heard the British were coming?
A:   She stopped sucking.
Q:   What did the blonde say when she was showed her newborn baby in the delivery room?
A:   I'm not going to suck anything *that* small.
Q:   What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A:   You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
Q:   What does a blond say during a porno?
A:   There I am!!
Q:   Why doesn't a blondes guts fall out of her twat when she stands?
A:   Because the vaccum in her head keeps them in place.
Q:   What's the difference between having sex with a blonde and eating Jell-o?
A:   Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.
Q:   What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A1: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.
A2: Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't stop until it gets blood.
Q:   Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses?
A:   She was having sunny periods.
Q:   What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A:   Her feet!
Q:   How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?
A:   When she farts, her knees bag.
Q:   What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
A:   Marriage.
Q:   How is a blonde like a frying pan?
A:   You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.
Q:   How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A:   A 69 interrupted by a period.
Q:   How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings?
A:   Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q:   How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A:   3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.
Q:   How do you confuse a blonde?
A:   You don't. They're born that way.
Q:   Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A:   They're too hard to peel.
Q:   How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A:   You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q:   What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A:   Proofreading.
Q:   Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&Mfactory?
A:   For throwing out the W's.
Q:   Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A:   Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Q:   Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?
A:   To keep her ankles warm.
Q:   How can you tell a blonde had a bad day?
A:   Her tampon is behind her ear and she doesn't know what she did with her cigarette.
Q:   What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A:   Way to go team!
Q:   How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?
A:   By the chipped tooth.
Q:   How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A:   (I'll tell you tomorrow.)
Q:   How do you keep a blonde busy?
A:   Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q:   Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A:   To keep from bruising their ears.
Q:   Why do blondes have vaginas?
A:   So guys will talk to them at parties.
Q:   Why does the blonde stand in front of a window during a thunder storm?
A:   She loves taking pictures (flashes, got it?).
Q:   What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A:   Full.
Q:   What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?"
A:   "No, I just lie there."
Q:   What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning?
A:   "Thanks,guys..."
Q:   What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A:   Air pockets.
Q:   What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A:   "Space. The final frontier......"
Q:   How many blondes does it take to screw the entire Bengals team?
A:   Just One... Boomer Esiason.
Q:   What's brown and red and black and blue?
A:   A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.
Q:   What do you call a brunette and three blondes on a corner?
A:   You don't, you see if you've got 3 condoms.
Q:   How does the blonde car pool work?
A:   They all meet at work at 7:45.
Q:   What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A:   Her IQ goes up!
Q:   Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A:   She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
Q:   Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A:   They always forget the recipe.
Q:   Why do blonde's find it difficult to marry?
A:   Because you don't have to marry them to have sex with them!
Q:   Did you hear about the blonde that said she would do anything for a fur coat?
A:   Well, now she can't button it.(prego)
Q:   Did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
A:   She tied up the safe and blew the guard.
Q:   Did you hear about the blonde who had an apendix operation?
A:   Well, now she is making money on the side.
Q:   Did you hear about the scared blonde nurse down by the water?
A:   She won't go DOWN ON THE DOC.
Q:   Did you hear about the blond that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds?
A:   She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord.
Q:   DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT ALMOST CAUSED A WRECK?
A:   The spare tire in her trunk blew out.
Q:   DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE DOCTOR?
A:   She shaved her patients, then took off their clothes.
Q:   DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT ATE MOUNTAIN OYSTERS?
A:   She was dragged 200 yards.
Q:   DID YOU HEAR BOUT THE BLONDE WHO COULN'T WAIT TO SEE "20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA"?
A:   She said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams.
Q:   DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE WHO STOOD IN FRONT OF A MIRROR WITH HER EYES CLOSED?
A:   She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Q:   DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL FOR BLONDES?
A:   They take off their makeup.
Q:   Why won't a blonde drink beer at the beach?
A:   She's afraid to get sand in her Busch.
Q:   Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
A:   To keep their legs together.
Q:   Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A:   So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
Q:   How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A:   She fell out of the tree.
Q:   HOW MANY BLONDES DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB?
A:   Blondes screw in back seats, not in lightbulbs, silly.
Q:   How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A:   One.
Q:   Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
A:   She didn't know what ONE came first...
Q:   Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A1: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.
A2: Their mothers told them not with their mouths full.
Q:   What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A:   Divorced.
Q:   What do you call a blonde without an asshole?
A:   Divorced.
Q:   How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A:   Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!
Q:   How is a blonde like a postage stamp?
A:   You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
Q:   How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
A:   Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
Q:   How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A:   She threw it off a cliff.
Q:   How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A:   She fell out of the tree.
Q:   How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A:   The cow fell on her.
Q:   How did the blonde burn her nose?
A:   Bobbing for french fries.
Q:   How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A:   She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.
Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A:   There's white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A:   There's writing on the white-out.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A:   You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q:   What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A:   She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9....
Q:   How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A:   By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
Q:   How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A:   A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.
Q:   How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A:   By the buckle print on her forehead.
Q:   How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A:   He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead!
Q:   How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A:   She has a checkbook.
Q:   How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A:   There is a stamp on it.
Q:   How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A:   She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A:   The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
A:   The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.
Q:   What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a blonde track team?
A:   The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.
Q:   What is the difference between a crazy fighting hockey player and a blonde?
A:   He is fussy by nature and would go to any length to get a puck.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A:   You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.
Q:   What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A:   The prostitute says "Aren't you done yet?"The nympho says "Are you done already?"The blonde
     says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Q:   What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A:   A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A:   You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q:   What is the difference between a blonde and a shower?
A:   A shower has to be turned on to get wet.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A:   Your job still sucks after 6 months.
Q:   What's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist?
A:   You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q:   What is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
A:   A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A:   In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo",while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
A:   Not everybody has been in a limo.
Q:   What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
A2: You can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball.
A3: There is no difference. They're both round and have three holes to poke.
A4: You don't eat your bowling ball
Q:   What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A:   The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.
Q:   What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A:   Lipstick.
Q:   Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A:   You can park in the handicap zone.
Q:   Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A:   They both get fucked up when they're on their back.
Q:   Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A:   It takes too long to retrain them.
Q:   Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A:   They're doing research on black holes.
Q:   Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A:   So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q:   Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A:   Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q:   Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.
Q:   Why do men like blonde jokes??
A:   Because they can understand them.
Q:   Why do blondes like lightning?
A:   They think someone is taking their picture.
Q:   Why do blondes always drink with straws?
A:   Practice.
Q:   Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A:   Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
Q:   Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A:   From eating with forks.
Q:   Why do blondes have more fun?
A1: Because they don't know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.
A3: Because they are easier to find in the dark.
Q:   Why do blonde's find it difficult to marry?
A:   Because you don't have to marry them for sex!
Q:   Why do blondes have legs?
A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground.
A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3: So they don't leave trails, like little snails.
Q:   Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
A:   So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.
A2: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
Q:   Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A:   Because they can spell it.
Q:   Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
A:   *Who cares?*
Q:   Why do blondes have periods?
A:   They deserve them
Q:   Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A:   From dating blonde men.
Q:   What does a blonde and a tampon have in common?
A:   They're both stuck up c*nts!
Q:   Why do blondes wear tampons?
A:   Because crabs like Bungie Jumping too.
Q:   Why do blondes drive VW's
A:   Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!
Q:   Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A:   To cover up the valve stem.
Q:   Why do blonds have square boobs?
A:   Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Q:   Why do Blondes take the pill?
A:   So they know what day of the week it is.
Q:   But why do brunettes take the pill ?
A:   Wishful Thinking.
Q:   Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A:   Toes go in first.
Q:   Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A:   Tits go in front.
Q:   Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A:   More head room.
Q:   Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A:   More leg room.
Q:   Why do blonds have orgasms ?
A:   So they know when to stop having sex !
Q:   Why do blondes wear underwear?
A:   They make good ankle warmers.
Q:   Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
A:   Because they can spell it.
Q:   What is 74 to a blonde?
A:   69 plus G.S.T.
Q:   Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A:   Because red means stop.
Q:   Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A:   Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
Q:   Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A:   They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q:   Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A:   Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q:   Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A:   To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q:   Why don't blondes double recipes?
A:   The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
Q:   Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A:   They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
Q:   Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can't remember the number.
A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
Q:   Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A:   They always forget the "11"in "9-1-1".
Q:   Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A:   They can't find the zipper.
Q:   Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A:   Cause their balls show!
Q:   Why don't blonds breast feed?
A:   Because they always burn their niples.
Q:   Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A:   They chip their teeth.
Q:   Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A:   They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q:   Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A:   Because they can't get their head in the jar.