| Truisms |
| 20 bits of useful stuff 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved its full potential, that word would be "meetings". 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness". 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. 6. You should not confuse your career with your life. 7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 10. Never lick a steak knife. 11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. 12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. 13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. 16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers. 17. The main accomplishment of almost all organised protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) 19. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. 20. Your friends love you anyway. |
| The Romans did not create a great empire by having planning meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity A person who smiles in the face of adversity . . . probably has a scapegoat Plagiarism saves time If at first you don't succeed, try management Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether Teamwork . . means never having to take all the blame yourself The beatings will continue until morale improves Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups We waste time, so you don't have to. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break Indecision is the key to flexibility Succeed in spite of management Aim low, reach your goals, avoid disappointment |
| Hints for a successful working life |