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VILLAINS, THIEVES & SCOUNDRELS UNION
MINIMUM BASIC AGREEMENT
1. EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYMENT ACT:
Evil comes in all shapes, size, colors, and states of being. Employer undertakes to provide a full and equal opportunity for the wreaking of havoc, chaos, destruction, unspeakable dooms, or fates worse than death by all employees, contractors, underlings, devotees, followers, lackeys or any other subordinate worker engaged under the provisions of this agreement.
2. SEXUAL CONDUCT IN THE WORKPLACE:
Sexual harassment, abuse or unwanted sexual interaction of any kind is hereby restricted, except in specific instances falling under the �fates worse than death� clause of Article 1. (see HENTAI ANNEX)
3. FREEDOM OF RELIGION: Employers shall make no restriction on deities or entities summoned, invoked, worshipped, idolized or celebrated by employees, with the specific exception of specific said entities employer may stipulate as necessary for a specific malefic effect.
4. Employer agrees to provide all necessary supplies, including but not limited to blasphemous icons, dark athames, grimoires, noisome herbs, orbs, crystals, minerals and victims needed for the performance of all duties stipulated in terms of employment.
5. In the event of failure of employer�s scheme, conspiracy, plot or other outrage, employer agrees to provide employees with suitable alibis, aliases, separation benefits (to include any loot, swag or pillage), legal representation and/ or references (see WOLFRAM & HART supplemental �golden casket� plan)
6. Employees shall be given all due rest and meal periods as stipulated by OHSA regulations and relevant phases of the moon, alignments of planets and/or stars, and upcoming graduation ceremonies.
7. Employer shall provide Union minimum health coverage to all employees not currently dead. Employees with unique physical requirements in terms of excess number of limbs to be accommodated by workstations, toxic or allergic toilet and dietary requirements, or alternative styles of vitality, may be accommodated herein by consultation of appropriate annexes. The Union recognizes that nothing can be done about vampire fashion sense.
8. All plots, conspiracies, schemes and outrages shall comply scrupulously with all EPA regulations, except where that�s the whole point.
AGREED TO this _____________Day of ______________.
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Print or Sign Name
B. Badinov, Local President
N. Fatale, General Secretar, LOCAL 12
STANDARD CONSPIRACY
TABLE OF ORGANIZATION AND EQUIPMENT
1 each, Hidden Manipulator, to be equipped with AIM and/or ICQ and a substantial address book
1 each, Ringleader, to be equipped with AIM and/or ICQ and a substantial address book
3-5 Minions, Willing, to be issued with Judgment, Suspendable, 1 each. Each Minion, Willing will supervise a further 3-5:
Lackeys, Eager. Each Lackey, Eager will be issued with Self-esteem, Diminished, 1 each.
In addition, each Conspiracy may be augmented with a number of Wannabes, Clueless and Agitators, Random as indicated by the Hidden Manipulator's assessment of the Monsters, Equipment, Terror and Time (METT-T) evaluation.
All Hidden Manipulators and Ringleaders are hereby directed to conform their Cliques to this current standard ASAP.
NOTE: Special exemption is granted for all mad and/or evil scientists, witches, fairy tale type, and deranged sorcerers whose workplace environments stipulate lonely castles, forest huts or caverns, wherein one single lackey is authorized to listen to the exposition.
