by slayerdaddy
NOTE: This takes place after the events of Season 5, by means of a clever solution I have
devised...
Gee, thought Buffy Summers as she wearily climbed the stairs to her waiting bedroom. What a
day. Who knew you could be resurrected like that?
The door to her bedroom beckoned, and she reached for the doorknob gratefully. She wasn't in
the mood for any more epiphanies, enlightenments or surprises--
"SPIKE! EWWW!"
The follicle-fried revenant looked at her aghast over a faceful of pink angora.
"mmmfyicnnnsplnnn..." Spike pulled the sweater away from his face. "Buffy, I can explain..."
"You don't have to explain anything!" Buffy said. "You said I treated you like a man? Well, now
I'm gonna treat you like a man I found snorting my sweater! You're just lucky I didn't catch you
in my underwear drawer..." She paused, her fist raised. "Would I have found you in my
underwear drawer? 'Cause I swear, I'll desecrate your dusty corpse if I --"
"You wouldn't! I didn't! I -- how would you do that?"
"I'll -- Well, I'll find some way you think is really disgusting -- if there is such a thing... for
crying out loud, Spike-- Look, I don't have time for this now. I'm tired and I want to go to bed
and get some sleep before Riley gets back from Belize --"
"What, again with the boy scout-- ?"
Buffy's fist came back up. "Desecrated dust, remember? Now -- "
The vines on the trestle outside Buffy's window began to rustle as the thin wood creaked.
"Buffy!" came a strained whisper. "Buffy!"
"Angel?!" Buffy squealed.
"Angel!" Spike said in a strangled croak. "What the bleedin' 'ell is he doing here?"
"What the bleeding hell are you doing here?" Buffy asked him. "And what is he gonna do when he
finds you here?"
"Look you, I'm not scared of gel-boy! I can take anything he can dish out! I can take -- alright,
a quick hike is what I'm gonna take..."
"Not the door!" Buffy wheezed. "He'll hear you leave!" She looked around frantically, and
grabbed Spike by the arm. "Quick! In the closet!" She tossed the vampire in the closet and
quickly shut the door. Then she heard the snorting and snuffling sounds and threw the door back
open, yanking him out again. "The bed! God, no, _under_ the bed!"
She hastily straightened the duvet fringe and stood up just as Angel clambered through her
window.
"Buffy!" Angel swept her into a crushing hug. "You're alive! Oh, thank God, you're alive!"
"Angel! Yes, I'm alive! And breathing is a really big part of that..."
"Oh, right, sorry..." Angel stepped back awkwardly as Buffy sat down on the edge of the bed.
The springs -- or something -- groaned.
"And why are you coming in the window?" she asked.
"Oh, I guess, uh... force of habit? I guess I've been a little distracted lately.... what with you
being dead and all..." Angel sat down heavily on the bed next to her. The springs groaned again
-- this time with a pronounced British accent... "It's just, I feel so guilty about not being there...
maybe I could have saved you... maybe I could have helped bring you back... I've really been
brooding about it..."
"There's a surprise," came a muffled comment. As Angel looked up Buffy added quickly, "But it
looks good on you..."
***
Xander's battered VW microbus pulled away from the Sunnydale Greyhound station. The aroma
of mothballs filled the rusty van, rising thickly off Riley's olive-drab wooly-pully sweater.
"Sorry about the smell," Riley said. "But this wasn't something I needed much in Central
America..."
"Not a prob," Xander said, breathing through his mouth.
"Yes," Anya agreed from the shotgun seat, "I for one am happy to exchange an annoying odor for
safety from aggressive lepidoptera..."
"... can't argue with that," Riley said, finally. "You know, I'm really having a hard time getting
used to this. I was getting flown home on compassionate leave. I really thought I was going to a
funeral and now it's gonna be a reunion..."
"Yeah, I'll bet that's just got your little chip a-beepin'," Xander said.
"Funny thing about that," Riley said. "We hadda do some work on it, down in Belize. Installed a
manual modulation." He fished around under the wooly-pully and brought out a small device on a
wire that ran back under the sweater. "I mean, okay, it's a thermostat from a Koolatron beer
cooler, but it was a field-expedient fix... and I can pretty much dial the chip up or down as much
as I want now..."
"You've had way too much time to think about that, haven't you?" Xander asked.
***
"I've had a lot of time to think about this," Angel said. He broke off his pacing and sat down
again heavily next to Buffy. It almost sounded as though the springs sobbed... "I know there's
places we can't go, you and me," he said to Buffy. "I know that. But I don't want to leave you
completely out of my life anymore. I don't want to hear about this second-hand ever again."
"Oh, Angel..." Buffy said, "I know... but -- it's like you said, there's some places we can't go..."
"I know," Angel said. "You and me... among others..." He shot a hand under the bed and stood up,
dragging Spike out into the open by the hair.
"Ow! Ow! Watch the hair! Watch the hair!"
"Watch it? How can I miss it? You could signal the coast guard with that much neon! What the
hell are you doing here, Spike?"
"Maybe I was just looking for my good boots I left here, wasn't I?"
"Ooh, wrong answer. But thanks for giving me an excuse for playing..."
"Break it up you guys!" Buffy yelled. Suddenly the sound of a laboring VW engine sputtered in
through the window. "Oh, no..."
Angel set Spike back on the floor but didn't release his collar. "Oh, no, what?"
"It's the bus... Riley's back in town."
"Riley?" Angel asked. "This night just gets better and better."
"Maybe you should have booked ahead," Spike sneered.
But at least this won't take long." Angel cocked his fist to separate Spike's head from his
shoulders.
"Knock it off, you two!" Buffy grabbed Angel's arm just as Spike pulled on the hand clamped on
his collar. Angel swayed, swinging Buffy in between the scuffling vampires...
...and Riley walked in the bedroom door, to see Buffy in the middle of an undead sandwich.
"Buffy!"
"Riley!" Buffy said.
"Spike!"
"Riley..." Buffy repeated.
"Angel!"
"Riley..." Buffy moaned.
Without another word, Riley reached up under his sweater and cranked the souped-up thermostat
all the way to the right. A low hum filled the room, and Riley's free hand clenched into a
spasmodic, twitching fist...
"Oh, this can't be good," Spike said...
***
Buffy's window exploded out onto the lawn, showering the grass with glass, fragments of bedroom
furniture and a vampire. Spike lurched to his feet, pulling the dresser-drawer frame off his
neck.
"Oi!" he shouted up into the screaming and crashing. "Right then! I know I can bloody well hit at
least one of you!" And he ran back into the house, leather coat flapping behind him.
Xander and Anya sat in the open door of the microbus, listening to the war raging inside the
Summers house.
"Do you think we should go up?" Anya asked. "Concerned friends would consider getting
involved..."
"Oh, no," Xander said. "Not for me, three men on a horse..."
"Was that a Zeppo joke?" Anya asked. "I'm never sure when you're being the Zeppo..."
Xander listened to Spike, Angel and Riley bellowing in anger and roaring in pain, to the sound of
blows, breakage and a screaming-mad Slayer. Smiling, he slipped his arm around Anya's
shoulders and snuggled closer.
"Close enough," he said.
