REALISING

Disclaimer: I own absolutely no part of the characters from Buffy: The Vampire Slayer or Angel (I wish I did but…)

 

Feedback: IF I DINT WANT FEEDBACK I WUNT POST THE STORY! (But if you carnt take the hint n r still saying dus she want feedback it wud be a HELL YES!!!!!)

 

Distribution: For all my stuff and some other Buffy/Angel stuff (gallery, episode guide, character file, demon file etc) check out my website. www.geocities.com/slayerandvampirealways If you want this story or any of my work contact me and I will let you know, but please ask first.

 

Also if any of you would like to beta read my work plz let me know.

 

Summary: Eighth in a series. I have completely missed out the episodes ‘Quickening’, ‘Lullaby’ and ‘Dad.’ They are the same as in the show, except that anything that remotely insinuates feelings of more than friendship between Cordy and Angel can be ignored. During these episodes Angel has of course been to Sunnydale, which means more kissing, also Buffy and Spike have NOT had sex.

 

A/N: I am not intending to completely rewrite every part of every script, if there are parts missing just assume they went the same way they did in the show.

 

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“Hey Angel how’s everyone’s favourite Slayer? She dealing better now?” Angel had just returned from his latest visit to Sunnydale for Cordelia’s birthday.

“Can’t you ask me?” Cordelia, who had been scrubbing the floor when she heard the door open signalling Angel’s return turned.

“Buffy!” Cordelia dropped her things and rushed over to her. She flung her arms around the small blond Slayer, the look on Buffy’s face shows her surprise and Angel smiles a little. Fred looks on. “I’m so glad you’re not dead.” Cordelia then remembers who she is actually hugging and lets go. “How are you?” She says in a very high, syrupy sweet voice. Buffy smiles.

“Feeling almost normal actually.”

“Look who’s up from his nap.” Lorne comes down the stairs with the baby in his arms.

“Connor!” Cordelia and Fred rush over and Angel smiles down at Buffy who becomes suddenly very awkward. Angel goes over. He takes his son from Lorne and smiles down on him. The tenderness of this doesn’t escape Buffy’s attention. Making her feel even less comfortable. As Cordy and Fred reach for the baby, Angel swings him out of their reach.

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” he takes in their looks. “Dirty people not touching the baby.”

“But pig-drinking bloodsuckers are okay?” She frowns at his look. “I meant that in a nice way. And when I get back, I got first dibs on the baby snuggles.” Cordelia heads off to the bathroom. Angel calls out.

“Make sure you get under your fingernails!” once the bathroom door has closed he continues, quietly. “Cordy still doesn't know?” Just then Wes bursts through the front doors, carrying shopping bags, out of breath.

“Where is she? Buffy!” Buffy gives him a small smile and a wave. This is when Gunn and Lorne notice her. Gunn smiles, as does Fred. Lorne stares before smiling. His intense gaze freaks Buffy a little.

“Hi Wes.”

“Oh Buffy this is Gunn and Fred and Lorne.”

“Hey all people here.”

“Hi.”

“Hey.” Lorne just nods in greeting.

*

In the bathroom Cordelia looks into the mirror. Suddenly she grimaces, touches her head. She takes a pill bottle out of her pocket, and downs a pill. She looks in the mirror and is quiet for a minute, she then tucks the bottle back in her pocket. Braces herself, opens the to find Angel, Connor still in his arms, Buffy, Wes, Gunn, and Fred holding a birthday cake decorated like a girl superhero, that has a brightly-coloured cape, tights, hands on her hips, and okay, maybe some unobtrusive cleavage. Candles illuminate their smiles, as they sing "Happy Birthday" to Cordelia. She melts. After the song she speaks.

“You guys! I can't believe you did this...” She wipes her eyes, doing that teary smiling thing.

“Don't just stand there, girl, blow out the candles.” She does. Everyone claps. Wes sets the cake on the counter.

“Didja make a wish?”

“Sure did.” She looks around. “But I'm guessing John Cusack's a little busy.”

“How disappointing for you. Well, then, I suppose you won't be wanting the presents we-” Buffy feels even more out of place and wishes that she hadn’t let Angel convince her to go. It’s now that she really does understand that Angel has a life without her, a family and friends of his own. And she doesn’t fit in. Is that how he felt in Sunnydale with her? Maybe they really are from different worlds. She kind of melts into the background.

“Wanting! Wanting presents!” Fred, Wes, and Gunn grin, rush into Wes's office.

“You wanna hold him now?”

“Ooh, gimme!” She takes Connor, cooing at him as she moves to the lobby, ending up in front of the weapons cabinet. Angel follows, reaches into his pocket and produces a small, wrapped box.

“I... got you a little something, too. It’s been a long time since I shopped for anyone and so you will probably hate it but…”

“Angel. You didn't have to do that. You've got enough to take care of as it is. And I’m sure I’ll love it. “ She looks at his sceptical look. “Well maybe not love it but not hate it.” She smiles at him. Just then the gang re-enters with some gaily wrapped presents.

“You'll have to forgive the wrapping…” he looks over to Gunn. “-- some of us seem to have fostered a strange addiction to Scotch tape.”

“Oh, of all the cruel dilemmas. Presents... or” She nuzzles Connor. “Sweet little baby face?” She pauses and looks up to Angel. “Take the baby.”

“You're choosing birthday gifts over my kid?” Cordelia repeats it more urgently.

“Take the baby. Take the baby!” Angel takes the baby just as Cordelia is wracked by a vision. She staggers back a step, holding her head.

“It's a teenager. A girl. She…” Suddenly Cordy is launched back into the weapons cabinet, shattering the glass as she falls to the floor. The gang huddles around Cordy lying on the floor.
”Cordy! Cordy!”

“Is she all right?” Cordelia’s eyes fly open and she gasps.

“I'm fine, you guys. I'll be okay. I'm just…” She sits up, there are two of her. One still lying on the floor surrounded by the gang, motionless. Then the one who is now on her feet. “…dead.” Angel hands Connor to Buffy. Who stares down at him completely unknowing of how to be around him. Angel doesn’t notice her discomfort. Angel bends over Cordelia, who has a few little scrapes on her face, pulling her upright.
“Oh no.”

“Come on, Cordy. Wake up. It's all over.” Cordy approaches the gang, the fear growing.

“Angel, I'm fine. Really.”

“Come back to us now.”

“I haven't gone anywhere!”

“Please wake up.”

“Angel, is she --?”

“No.”

“NO! I’m not?”

“She's still breathing, heart's still beating.”

“Yesss! But if I'm not dead, then…”

“She's just in some sorta trance or...or coma.”

“Like hell I am.” She steps forward, waves her hand in Angel's face. “Hel-lo? Not in a coma. Coma free.”

“Wes, Gunn, grab one of the couches.” Wes and Gunn drag over one of the red couches as Angel picks up Cordy. He lays her on the couch, as Fred spots something on the floor.

“Ohhhkay -- I get it now. This is some kinda bizarre birthday present you guys cooked up, isn't it? Gift certificate to the astral plane? Well, that's a corker, all right, joke's on me…” She turns deadly serious. “…now put me back in my body.”

“It was a vision, wasn't it? She started to say something a girl, then...”

“That's right! She's in a house on Oak Street, middle of Reseda – feels like we got some time, but...” She then realises. “But you can't hear me at all, can you?” Lorne comes back into the room.

“What's all the hubbub, bub?” Cordelia rushes over to him.

“Lorne, thank God. You can hear me, right? 'Cause if there's some weird otherworldly thing going on, you'd still be able to…” The Host walks right through her, and crosses to the gang. “That's not good.” Just then an indistinct shape flits by. Cordelia jumps and looks, but sees nothing. She starts to feel uneasy. “Did anybody else just see that?” The Host crouches down next to Angel.

“Jumpin' Judas on a unicycle. What happened?”

“All we know is that she had a vision.”

“But there's a lot we don't know.” She pauses. “I think she dropped this.” Fred hold up what she spotted earlier, the pill bottle which Cordelia had in her pocket.

*

Angel is in his room, sat beside his bed, which Cordy is lying on. He is holding her hand.

“Cordy?” he pauses. “I know you can't hear me, but...there's something I have to say.” He pauses again. “You really piss me off, you know that? I thought we trusted each other, but you've been lying -- MRI's, CAT scans; it's been going on for over a year. Why couldn't you let me in? I could've helped you. You make me so furious.”

“You're furious?” Astral Cordy is sat watching him. “I get body jacked on my birthday and you're the one that's furious?” Just then the Host enters.

“Knock, knock. How is she?”

“Ready to punch this jerk in the nose.”

“The same. You ready?”

“As I'll ever be.”

“For what? What's he gonna do?”

“Sorta wishin' I'd brought a helmet, though. Last time I tried this, I got blown across the room.” The Host moves to Catatonic Cordy, puts his hands to her temples, closes his eyes. Cordelia darts forward, eager.

“Oh, please let this work.”

“Cordelia? Are you there?”

“Lorne, it's me. I'm here.”

“Cordelia?” Cordy sighs, very relieved.

“Yes! You have to tell Angel – 171 Oak Street. There's a girl inside the house, she's going to die if you don't get there in time. Please, Lorne, tell him: 171 Oak. Can you hear me? Lorne?” The Host exhales, removes his hands. A pregnant moment.

“What?”

“Cordelia's not in there. She's just... gone.”

“I'm standing right in front of you!” She pauses. “And I'm scared.”

“No. This isn't gonna happen.” Angel looks at the Host, menacing. “I don't care how many favours you have to call in. I don't care how many gods you have to cross. You have a connection to the Powers That Be, and you're gonna find me a way to talk to them -- understand?”

“Angel, honey -- it's not that easy. Contacting the Powers is a muddy, not to mention dangerous, area. Now, I
adore Cordy, you know that – but this is a bit much to ask.”

“I'm not asking.” Stalemate. A beat, then the Host nods, exits. Angel moves back to Catatonic Cordy's bedside, takes her hand again. Cordelia watches this, moves to him, reaches out to touch his shoulder, but realizes she can't. Pulls her hand back.

Cordelia sits down on the floor next to him.

*

Cordelia is in Connor’s room now. She got bored on watching herself and to be honest, it did kind of freak her out a little. So if she had to be like this she may was well go and watch cute little baby. She found Buffy in there staring at Connor, in his crib. She was talking to herself.

“Bastards…” now this was interesting. Maybe listening to Buffy, what she was thinking, maybe this was how Buffy felt at first when she became telepathic. But then she started to cry. Considering Cordy had only just come in she didn’t really know why she was crying. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. What part of rest in peace don’t they understand? Is it the rest part, maybe next time I’ll add and extra letter. R.I.P.F. rest in peace Forever!” She sunk to the ground and brought her knees up to her chest wrapping her arms round her knees. Cordy wanted to go over and comfort her but couldn’t. “I just wanna belong again, I belong there. I don’t belong in Sunnydale, I don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere. I wanna belong.” Cordy’s heart broke for her. As soon as she got her astral butt back in her body she would make sure Buffy felt like she belonged, even if it killed her. Maybe she should go and get Angel. He thought he’d helped her, but he hadn’t. She was just pretending she was okay. And she was good at it. Maybe Buffy would have made it as an actress. But before she can go the wind starts howling, and the lighting in the room changes, shadows growing over every wall. The whispers start up again, growing in volume and intensity. Cordelia shrinks back, terrified. What the hell is going on? “Oh no... Please no...” Suddenly a bang and a white flash of light. Cordelia screams. Skip is standing there, he waits for her to finish screaming, then nods cordially:

“Hey.” He pauses. “How's it goin'?”

 

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Cordy screams in agony. Angel is standing there as the gang, including Lorne, minus Buffy runs in, surrounding her bedside. Fred, scared:

“What's happening to her?” Suddenly Cordelia stops screaming, sits up abruptly, her eyes roving the room, wild. The gang is paralysed. A moment.

“Cordy?” She turns her eyes on him, recognition returning.

“Angel...” He sits on the edge of the bed, pulls her into a hug.

“Thought I'd lost you.” She smiles, then abruptly pulls out of the hug, feels her head.

“No horns.” She looks down the back of her pants. “No tail.” She sighs, relieved. “Whew. Just checking.” Cordy gets to her feet, stretches. “Ahh. Feels so good to be solid again.” The gang exchanges glances: Uh... what? Wesley steps over.

“Cordelia, what's the last thing you remember?”

“When? I've been so...” She stop short, realising. “Oh. Downstairs. The vision. I had a vision but it's taken care of -- there was this actress and a one-armed guy... long story. I've got so much to tell you guys -- but right now we gotta solve my vision.” More glances. She's off the deep end, isn't she?

“The one you just said was taken care of?”

“No, the one I'm having right now.” She pauses. “It's a young man, he's in a park in Glendale -- somewhere near a pond. There's a demon waiting for him: red, with four... make that five horns.”

“Uh... Cordy?”

“What?” Cordelia is floating.

 

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“Angel can we talk?” Angel sat beside Cordy on one of the red couches in the lobby of the Hyperion.

“Sure what about?”

“Buffy.”

“She went back home.”

“No that's not it. While I was all astral Cordy I went into Connor’s room and she was ranting and crying. I didn’t get it all but I got some of it. Basically she feels like she doesn’t belong, except of course in heaven. Angel she’s been lying, she’s pretending to be okay. She was so sad. We really, really need to help her.” Angel is obviously shocked and sits dumbfound. Cordy places her hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture.