| The Bl(arg)og; It's not your job to care. Hell, you don't even need to read it. |
| If this mindless drivel entertains you, you might also want to check out my secondary blog at my profile on MySpace.com |
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| *This journal reads bottom to top. Newer entries "stack" on top of older entries...you can figure it out, you can read the dates in blue, right?* |
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| O Magic Scooter Riding Girl, can you take me to a better place than here? ...Guess not. |
| 8-15-2004; 11:03pm *blows dust off the blog* I've decided once and for all, that despite my intentions, I am going to have to be the 'bad guy'. Well, so be it. But if I'm going out there to be a villain, I'm going to be one theatrical sunofbitch, y'know. I'm going the mad scientist route. I'm building a death ray. You'll see soon enough. 8-6-2004; 1:49pm I've been thinking about things a little more than usual today. I've been thinking, and things are really starting to make a little sense. I'm tired of being the bad guy. I'm tired of being the low man. I'm tired of being disdain, I'm tired of being hated. I'm SO FUCKING TIRED of people treating me like they're better than me. I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of every little thing. Let me smoke, let me die. Go away. 7-26-2004; 4:45pm All the cool kids drink nowadays. When I say kids, I actually mean kids. Perhaps MySpace.com isn't the best place in the world for me to make the basis of my assumptions, but I do searches for people between the ages of 18-20, and I find a hell of a lot of high school aged kids faking their ages to get on MySpace that file under "Smoke/Drink" as "No/Yes". What the hell? All of a sudden every last brat out rhere is out getting drunk, while I'm the bad guy, for smoking. Society fucking sucks. 7-23-2004; 8:40pm I must be brain dead. It must be the cigarettes. For some reason or another, I'm really losing it. I really am not cut out for this summer thing. I need to be doing some sort of menial task every day of my life. Whether it be a job, or some classes at the community college, I need some sense of order to keep myself in check. I'm just no good on my own. It is funny, for all the insane rambling I go through as I strive to be alone, it is being alone that seems to drive me insane. What is it with me? Why do I crave to be with other people so much? Why do I miss Holly? Why am I still falling apart? 7-15-2004; 8:49pm Where have I been? What have I been doing? Well, what have you seen between this entry and the last one? Nothing, really...I did update a few things around the site, and I got Adventures in Anime 2004 up, but aside from that, I've not been doing much. I'm just not cut out for the summer grind, let's be honest. I got a notification to register for Fall semester soon...and just like last year, I don't know what I'm doing. However, unlike last year, I know what needs to get done....just not "what" needs to be done. ...er, I know the process of getting things done, but not the things in the process...no, er, I don't know what I should take. ...there, that'll work. 7-3-2004; 7:33pm A quick AX 2004 trip report/update: Well, they no one really knew who I was yesterday as Tarma, but when I do the Kiki thing, suddenly everyone either knows who I am, or wishes they didn't. I think I have a winner. I met Kat the other day. She was Fio...and she got the costume together pretty well. I think I should get her a revolver. I finished off my disposable camera and most of my funds. All in all, this year, it seems a bit lesser, or even boring. Maybe I'm getting too used to this thing. I hope not. |