Anniversary Dance
(complete with Master's edited comments in bold)
* nic`an`aithinne{DdT} kneels before Him, anchored in position as soft music slowly wafts into <through> her soul. Delicate hands entwine and reach out towards Him. Chains sing as the lithe body leans back, arms high, in a modified gorean bow. Exposed[, a frisson of love coursees through the girl's body]<this should be reworded, bad usage of twenty cent word>, the knowledge that she is His infuses her being
nic`an`aithinne{DdT} leans back on slim arms, the grey links falling to the floor, well formed legs uncurl from beneath a shapely ass, a subtle twist puts the girl onto her side, beauty on display for Him once more, sensuously sliding back to a kneel, flame darkened foresty<bad implications with this word> eyes stalk<?????VERY bad implications> Him
* nic`an`aithinne{DdT} has hot eyes locked on the center of her world, the One in the slave's heart and soul. Chained wrists follow small fingers to trace the beloved collar that adorns <A, her, whose??>slender neck, love radiates from the girl. A fluid shift of strong muscles lifts her to sway trancelike in front of Him<badly worded, doesnt flow>
* nic`an`aithinne{DdT} shivers with the simply<simple> joy of being bound to Him by love and chains. A moan rises from parted lips, soft hands twist the sirik chain around delicate wrists, tugging, pulling, knowing the chain holds her tightly. (The)Obdurate steel is brought to trembling full lips.
* nic`an`aithinne{DdT} <too hard a word, should be a softer beginning here>curves undulate as the cold steel touches soft lips, <you trying to eat the chains??? Too much repetition>flames of devotion dance in teh girl's belly. Rounded hips swing in large<keep as many movements as small as possible, use large movements for arms and legs only>circles, tinkling the belt of golden disks that encircle them, pulling attention to the sweet navel of the chained, naked slave. Movement<never use this word> is isolated tot he sensual rolls of the girl's hips, sage pools locked to His fathomless gaze
nic`an`aithinne{DdT} steps back as the disks about her hips sparkle in the inconsistent light of the fire, the body chain taps lightly against soft flesh, small hands clap together overhead to accentuate the movement of the lithe body. Suptutous body weaves as she dips and turns, burgundy mane flowing about freckled shoulders. Caught in the power of His command and her love, the slave's heart is shown [in the dance]<bad, bad, bad....Dont use phrases like this>
nic`an`aithinne{DdT} vibrates with restrained emotion, small steps bring her closer to Him. Darkened eyelids lift as mossy<whats with the forest fixation> eyes look to the sky, a soft prayer escapes carmine lips, slim arms extended to the side, body open to the view of her audience, inviting them to peruse the flesh her Master owns. <A twirl would set this off beautifully>Jade orbs skim down to rest upon Him once more, a smile blooms on the inviting lips
nic`an`aithinne{DdT} slides to a wide kneel once more, ivory skin lightly sheened from her exertions, trust and love shine in the depths of her eyes as slowly, deliberately, the sirik chian is wrapped about her wrists, bowing her head and lifting her hands in a traditional posture of submission before her Master, the low quavering voice echoes in the silent room<where were the nipple rings and chains?? What little mention there is leaves the audience with another impression entirely>
**Note: Debated about putting this one in, as this is no longer the girl that she is. In the end, she decided that although the dance was done for a Master that no longer possesses her, it shows the depths of love and passion that she felt at one time. Besides, she is proud of it.
