jokes

1. On Sears (CONAIR) hairdryer:
"Do not use when sleeping"

2. On a bag of Fritos:
"You can be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(Evidently the shoplifter special)

3. For a bar of Dial Soap:
"Directions: use like regular soap."
(And that would be how......?)

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestions: Defrost."
(But it's *just* a suggestion)

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down"
(DOH! Too late)

6. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body"
(But wouldn't this save more time?)

7. On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor and/or outdoor use only"
(As opposed to what?)

8. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: Contains nuts."
(NEWS FLASH)

9. On America Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Cdn Airlines)

10. On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garmet does not enable you to fly."

11. On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

12. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing Liquid:
"Do not use on food"
(Hey Mom! We're out of syrup! It's okay honey, just grab the Palmolive!)

13. On a tube of Crest toothpaste:
"If swallowed contact poison control"