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Summary: For the 2006 Slashy Santa fic swap. Círdan longs for his soulmate.
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Círdan stared out onto
the open sea with a yearning in his heart. He did not know how much
longer he could go on…alone. He had always longed for a mate to stand
beside him and to share his life, but it seemed that these past couple
decades, the longing had intensified tenfold. He felt his
faer (soul) calling to its mate and with each year that passed, Círdan
felt his strength waning. The Shipwright took one more look at the horizon,
then turned and started back up the dock to his home.
Ulmö watched the silver-haired
ellon (m. elf) walk away, his heart troubled. Círdan held a very special
place in his heart and the Vala wished that he could ease the Teleri’s
loneliness, but he knew that it was not his place. Círdan deserved
someone who could devote his life to him, to share the many years still
to come on Arda. Suddenly Ulmö tensed as he felt a presence draw up
beside him.
“Meldir (m. friend),
I can feel your sadness for this ellon.”
Ulmö turned and looked
at his friend Manwë. “He has done us and those who reside on Arda
great service. Doing whatever we ask of him, yet he continues to be
alone,” Ulmö said, looking once more at the way Círdan had left.
Manwë shook his head
as he said, “You are so distracted by Círdan’s pain that you do
not hear it, do you?”
Ulmö worried his brow
as he looked back at Manwë. “What do you speak of?”
“Come,” was all
Manwë said before transporting them to a glade where a cottage was
nestled next to a flowing brook.
Ulmö looked around
at his surroundings, the trees and the flow of the water was peaceful.
His eyes were drawn towards the cottage where a white-haired ellon was
in the middle of chopping firewood. Suddenly Ulmö became still, sensing
something that he could not quite identify.
Manwë looked at his
meldir and when Ulmö did not seem to realize what he was sensing, he
said, “Listen to the ellon’s song. What does it remind you of?”
Ulmö’s eyes widened
and he gasped, “Círdan,” he then quickly looked to Manwë, “his
song matches Círdan’s.”
Manwë smiled, “Yes,
this is Círdan’s faer mate.”
Just then they heard
a voice call from inside the cottage and it was not the tongue of the
Eldar, but Edain. “What is this?” Ulmö asked, sensing that no other
Eldar were present, just the white-haired ellon and a human woman.
Lindir let the axe fall
one more time as he heard his mother call out that supper was ready.
“I will be right in, Mama,” he called out as he wiped his brow with
the back of his hand. Lindir stacked the rest of the firewood and then
proceeded inside the cottage. Coming to a stop just inside the door,
Lindir watched his mother, who’s once raven hair was now almost as
white as his own, and he felt sad, knowing that she would not be on
Arda for much longer. He would be ever grateful to Eru for bringing
her into his life. When he saw her starting to carry the heavy pan of
food towards the table, he quickly made his way to his mother’s side
and took it from her and said, “Mama, go and sit. I can put the rest
of the food on the table.”
Frieda smiled at her
son then went and sat at the table, feeling her age all the more today
it seemed. She watched as Lindir finished setting the table, worrying
about him when she would be gone, for she felt that her end was not
far off. Her mind drifted back to when her beloved husband, Ragnarr,
brought a very frightened white-haired Elfling home. Ragnarr had been
out hunting and came across an awful scene. Orcs had attacked a small
traveling party of Eldar. Ragnarr had cautiously looked around for survivors,
but not finding any, started to leave only to hear a faint cry. He searched
the surroundings and finally found a young Elfling of about ten, hiding
under an overturned wagon. Ragnarr quickly whisked him away, bringing
him home to his wife, Frieda. They cleaned the Elfling up and finally
calmed him down and as they watched him sleep, they made a decision
of the heart. They had been trying to conceive a child for some time
with no luck and now they had one that needed their love. Frieda knew
that they could not stay in the village that they were living in at
the time and possibly keep the little Elfling, so they made plans to
secret away with their treasure.
Over the years Frieda
and Ragnarr had questioned their decision, knowing that they really
should have found a settlement of Eldar to give the Elfling to, but
he had captured their hearts’ the first time he looked up at them
with his big azure eyes. They tried to give everything they could to
Lindir, everything they had longed to give a child of their own.
Lindir looked up and
saw the sad look on his mother’s face and went to crouch down in front
of her, taking her hand. Ulmö and Manwë had just come to stand inside
the door and saw this, which took Ulmö aback, seeing the pure love
that this ellon had for this human woman.
“Mother, do not be
sad. I do not regret one minute that I had with you and father. You
both saved me,” Lindir said.
Frieda smiled as she
caressed Lindir’s cheek and said, “I know Lindir, but I worry for
you, when I am gone. You must promise me something. When I am gone you
must seek out others of your kind. I would not have you be alone.”
Lindir blinked back
his tears as he nodded, “Yes, Mama. I promise.”
Three Months Later
Lindir bent down and
laid the fresh flowers over his Mother’s grave that rested next to
his Father’s. He took in a shuddering breath, trying to calm his emotions.
He was alone now and he had put off leaving his home for as long as
he could. He could not go back on his promise to his Mother to find
other’s such as himself, but truth be told, he was scared. Snatches
of memory still remained of his first family, a word here or there,
but that was it. He did not even know how to speak the Eldar tongue.
He was not sure where he was going, but for the past week, he had an
uncontrollable urge, almost a compulsion to head south. Bowing his head
once more, he bid his parents goodbye, before turning and mounting his
horse.
Ulmö watched from a
distance as the white-haired ellon started his journey. The Vala was
excited, knowing that Círdan would soon find his destined mate. Closing
his eyes, Ulmö spoke to Lindir’s mare, giving her the exact route
that would take them to the Havens. He watched them for sometime, keeping
creatures away from them, until he felt that it was safe to leave them
to their own devices.
Lindir breathed in a
sigh of relief. Ever since he had left his home, he felt as if he were
being watched. No matter how hard he tried to look around, he could
not sense anyone, yet he still felt eyes upon him. Now, as dark approached,
he no longer felt it. Deciding that he had better find a safe place
to camp soon, he kept his eyes out for a possible campsite. He found
an outcropping of rocks just as the sun set, and after rubbing down
his mare, he made quick work on eating some of his dried rations before
settling down for the night. As night went along, every little noise
made Lindir jump, he not used to being out alone, and when the sun rose
once more, he felt as if he had not slept at all.
A week passed without
incidence. The compulsion seemed to grow ever stronger as time passed,
making Lindir push himself to exhaustion. This caused his body to be
sluggish, slow to react. That morning the rain started in sheets, obscuring
his vision.
Lindir hunched over,
trying to keep the rain out of his eyes. Suddenly thunder rolled in
the distance, startling Lindir and causing his mare to rear up. Lindir
cried out as he fell, crashing to the ground. The momentum of his fall
caused him to roll off the trail and down a steep ravine, knocking Lindir
unconscious as he reached the bottom.
~~~~~~~~~~
Círdan was walking
along the shore, looking to the horizon. He loved the sea after a storm,
for is seemed to match his restless spirit. Suddenly he stopped and
turned when he heard riders approaching. Seeing that it was his Captain,
Maedion, along with a few of his warriors, Círdan frowned, knowing
that something must be wrong for them to seek him out here. “What
is it Maedion?”
“My Lord, we have
just returned from a patrol. On our journey home, we found an unconscious
ellon. We have taken him to the healers but he has yet to wake,” Maedion
said before he reached down to help Círdan mount behind him.
Círdan paused in the
doorway of the healer’s room, suddenly feeling his heart race. Mentally
shaking himself, he slowly walked into the chamber, coming to a stop
at the foot of the bed. When his eyes came to rest upon the pale ellon
that lay motionless on the bed, Círdan’s breath caught, for he was
the most beautiful creature he had ever beheld.
Faelon looked up at
his Lord and was shocked when he saw the look upon Círdan’s face.
“My Lord, do you know this ellon?” the healer queried.
Círdan simply shook
his head, and then came to stand at the side of the bed. When he reached
out and placed his hand atop the white-haired ellon’s hand, his heart
leapt and he had to work hard to not have tears fill his eyes. “Is
he going to be well?”
Faelon looked at Círdan
for a moment more before answering, “I have examined the patient and
other than a bump on his head and various scrapes and bruises, he seems
to not have any major injuries. But with any head injury, only time
will tell when he will wake.”
Círdan hovered around
the ellon and finally when the healers were finished attending him,
he demanded that he would be the one to sit with the patient through
the night. Three nights had passed and still the mysterious ellon did
not wake. Finally Faelon demanded go Círdan to his own chamber, stating
that it would do no one good if he should wear himself out. Círdan
reluctantly left the healing chamber, falling into a deep sleep the
minute he came to rest upon his bed.
~~~~~~~~~~
Lindir slowly woke,
confused. He did not know where he was and the voices he heard drifting
through the door, though seemed familiar somehow, he still did not understand
them. When he went to sit up, he found that his body was too weak. This
frightened him and his breathing became labored as he started panicking.
Suddenly the door opened and a tall, dark-haired ellon rushed to his
side. When the ellon started speaking to him, he tried to shy away from
him, not understanding anything he was saying.
The healer frowned down
at the ellon, wondering why he did not answer him, and in fact, looked
more and more frightened. Deciding that he had best get Faelon, he told
the ellon that he would return shortly, and quitted the chamber in search
for the head healer.
By the time Círdan
was sent for, Lindir was in a full-blown panic, literally shaking. He
had managed to curl himself into a ball, trying his best to hide. Lindir
did not know why he felt so frightened, but he supposed it was the fact
that he had not been around others like himself since he was an Elfling.
It did not help that he could not understand anything that was being
said to him. Suddenly the room quieted and Lindir felt a presence in
the room, a most calming presence that had him peeking out from under
the covers. When his eyes beheld the ellon that was now standing over
him, his breath caught, and he blinked as if to make sure that the vision
would not disappear.
Círdan felt his faer
leap with joy once more as he looked down into the most deep blue eyes
he had ever seen. Slowly, as not to frighten the ellon, he pulled the
covers back from his face. Before he was able to ask the ellon’s name,
the white-haired ellon spoke.
“Where am I? How did
I get here?” Lindir asked, suddenly feeling at ease in this ellon’s
presence.
Círdan was shocked when
the ellon did not speak Eldar. Carefully sitting down next to him, Círdan
asked, “You do not speak Eldar?”
Lindir sighed when he
could understand the silver-haired ellon and he said, “I was orphaned
as an Elfling and raised by my Edain parents. You are the first Eldar
I have seen since then.”
“Orphaned? What happened?”
Círdan started to ask then said, “I am sorry, my name is Círdan.”
The sound of Círdan’s
voice and his relaxing presence lulled Lindir towards sleep once again.
He tried to fight it, but his body still needed to recuperate, and his
eyelids grew heavy. As he drifted back to sleep he whispered, “Lindir.”
Círdan looked worriedly
to Faelon who said, “Do not worry, My Lord. He still needs a lot of
rest.”
Círdan sighed in relief,
as he stared down at this treasure before him. Lindir was his name,
and what a beautiful name it was. Once again Círdan sat with Lindir
through the night, watching as the ellon slept. Just when the Shipwright
was dozing off, he jerked awake, feeling a presence in the room. Sitting
up, he looked around, and when he spotted a shadow near the balcony
door, stood and approached the intruder.
“Be at ease, meldir.”
Círdan paused, “Ulmö?”
“Yes, has it been
so long since you have seen me that you have forgotten your meldir?”
Ulmö asked, almost sounding hurt.
Círdan approached the
Vala and replied, “Of course not, mellon nín (my friend). I could
never forget you. What brings you here at this hour, though, My Lord?”
Ulmö went and stood
at the bedside, peering down at the sleeping Lindir. “This one has
brought me here,” he simply said.
Círdan took a threatening
step toward the Vala before he realized what he was doing. He knew that
if the Valar had designs on this ellon that there was nothing he could
do, but Círdan still felt an urge to protect Lindir and claim him as
his own. Círdan stilled as that last thought registered in his mind.
He did not know why he felt such strong feeling for this ellon when
he just met him, barely even spoke to him, but he did. He knew without
a doubt that he would give his life for Lindir.
Ulmö smiled sadly down
at Lindir, knowing that this ellon would have something that he could
never have. Masking his true feelings, Ulmö turned and looked directly
at Círdan and said, “The reason why you are having those feelings
is because this penneth (young one) is your faer mate, the one that
you have been searching for all these millennia.”
Círdan looked from
Ulmö to Lindir, then back again. He could not believe that he truly
found the one that was destined for him, but he felt it nonetheless.
“Ulmö…”
Ulmö smiled as he kissed
Círdan’s brow, feeling his meldir’s happiness, seeing it in the
tears that filled his eyes. “You have given so much for so many, Círdan.
You deserve to be happy. This ellon’s faer is one of the purest that
Eru has ever created. He will love you like you deserve. I am very happy
for you.”
In his happiness, Círdan
impulsively wrapped his arms around Ulmö, hugging him close. “Hannon
le (Thank you), meldir.”
Ulmö leaned into the
hug for a few precious seconds before pulling away. He looked at Círdan
once more before saying, “Take care of his heart and he will take
care of yours forever,” then he was gone.
Círdan stared at where
Ulmö had just stood for well over a minute before coming to rest once
more in the chair by Lindir. As he drifted off to sleep, he had a smile
on his face and hope in his heart for the future.
~~~~~~~~~~
Epilogue
Lindir rushed down the
hallway, eager to reach his chambers. Círdan, his hervenn (husband),
had just returned from visiting a nearby village. It still amazed Lindir
that just three years past he had been making his way to Círdan, unbeknownst
to him. After he had healed, Círdan had personally taught him how to
speak Eldar. Lindir had cherished each and every minute with the Shipwright
and after time, their friendship had turned to something more, something
most beautiful. He found where he was meant to be, with Círdan.
Pushing his way through
their antechamber, he launched himself into his hervenn’s waiting
arms. “I have missed you so much, meleth (love)!”
Círdan eagerly wrapped
his arms around his Lindir, drinking in his intoxicating scent. Just
a mere week away from his hervenn was too long. Threading his fingers
in Lindir’s silken locks, he pulled back so he could capture his beloved’s
sweet lips. When Lindir pushed his tongue inside his mouth, Círdan
growled as he walked them towards the bed. Reaching the side of the
bed, he quickly pulled their clothing from their bodies and he gasped,
“I have been too long from you, hervenn. I need to make love to you.”
Lindir shivered, feeling
his love for Círdan snake down his spine. Nodding, he laid down onto
the mattress, pulling Círdan on top of him. When he felt his hervenn’s
hardened arousal against his, Lindir arched up and moaned, “Yes, make
love to me, Círdan.”
Círdan smiled down
at his treasure and whispered, “Always.”